Wednesday, December 29, 2004


The ELC AGM went really well despite the my very shitty day. I guess Everyone had fun and it did take my mind off things. And as usual BENL students shall always be associated with being loud. Sorry ye Pak Imam!

For everyone who's pic were taken that night by none other than myself the pics aren't ready yet. There's some technical probs at the host which I'm placing the pics so be patient ya. I'll inform you guys when it's all up.

Congrats to the new mainboard of ELC.

President - Farid Nazman

Vice - Yan

Treasurer - Nik

V. Treasurer - Dudy

I wonder who they'll pick as secretary? Anyways, I hope with the new team the club won't be as dead as it has been. Gambate ne!

Sao's band

Br. Shamsul enjoying himself

Shitty Day...

I just feel like shit right now. I'm humiliated. I'm embarassed. People think I'm weak. I think I'm weak. And I'm pissed.

Pissed at myself. Pissed at the BITCH for even daring to patronise me. But more so I'm really pissed at myself.

I vow this shall never happen again. I SHALL prove them wrong.

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

Conspiracy Theory!

Do you believe in conspiracy theory? No...? Well BELIEVE it! And it's happening right here in UIA.

There's rumours that the results for the Inter Mahallah Cultural Show was rigged. And the culprits were... GIRLS! Damn them for embarassing the female race! Damn them for making me LOSE! Damn them for making me look bad!

Sour grapes or not this is me talking. Ego or not this is me talking. Perasa or not this is me talking. I know that I should've won at least one of the top three spots. And an entry for drama doen by experienced members of theater club actually got second. Something is wrong... very wrong. When a judge comes up to you and admits it you know that you've got something dad on. When a committee comes to you and admits it you know that it's a conspiracy that's going on.

But what can you do about it? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. So this all goes away and everyone shall again witness the same conspiracy theory repeat itself in the yearsto come.


Friday, December 17, 2004

ELC's AGM, Post-Raya, Pre-New Year Gathering.

Hey beautiful people!

English Literature Club (ELC) will be organising their yearly AGM & Raya Gath this (hopefully) Tuesday, 28th December. Everyone including non BENL students are invited but it's compulsory for all BENL students since the future leaders of ELC will be elected (We all senior already-need to retire lor!).

There'll be food, entertainment, and fantastic people. There'll be a charge of RM4 but what's that compared to all the fun that you'll be having that night.

Tell your friends, better yet bring them along. Any enquiries just ask any of the ELC mainboards like Is, Fasyu, Farid, Kaled, SaO, Midge, Sheena and of course myself.

One more thing... attire is your Raya costumes. Look your best because who knows you might be picked as the King or Queen of the night.

Ciao People. See U at the Gathering!

Thursday, December 16, 2004

If things were put in our hands I bet that HS would be buzzing about the news of how 6 BENL girls beating up a LAW girl. The reason? She stole a script.

Sure it might sounds trivial but this is a matter of pride. For someone who's taking law she should know the meaning of copyright laws and of course understand the basic decency of asking whether that script will be used or not rather than taking the script and using it to get a name for herself. She should've thought twice about messing with us BENL girls. I thought law students should be meticulous and always checks up on a detail before making any moves on whatever info that they have. If not then they'd be horrible lawyers. It goes to show just how good that girl is gonna be someday. No offence for any law students out there.

It must have been one scene last night when the 6 of us confronted the girl for stealing our script. Imagine opening the door and seeing 6 girls all serious with various 'otai' poses (Ainul definitely no. 1 on the list-RESPECT). Come to think of it, it's rather hilarious. From my point of view that is. Although I was still blur of what was going on that night but I decided to hang around out of curiosity.

Luckily for the girl everything went well. The girl decided to give back the script and now has to revert back to their old lame script. What boggles me the most is that they planned to use a script which was meant for theater to do a pantomime. HELLO! Pantomime has no script. No dialogue. Just movement. So why use a drama script? Malas sangat!

Now it has become a personal challenge for all of us to actually win. Just to spite her. HeeHee! Sweet revenge. Like they say "Revenge is a dish best served cold."

Saya suka kacau orang baik...

A reenactment of what happened Yesterday during the blackout.

Time: 8pm

ME: Eh, ko tahu tak something weird happened petang tadi.

FRIEND: Apa jadi?

ME: Tadi aku tido dekat-dekat time Maghrib. Tapi tidor-tidor ayam je coz nak bangun sembahyang. Kan orang tua-tua selalu kata jangan tido petang. Now baru aku tahu kenapa.

FRIEND: Kenapa?

ME: Tadi masa aku tido aku dengar pintu locker bilik aku kena bukak. Aku masa tu still tido lagi tapi lepas tu aku rasa cam ada orang dok kat tepi katil aku. Aku pon bangun nak tengok sapa. Tapi masa tu mata rasa cam berat sangat. Tak larat nak bunga. Aku cuma nampak satu bayang macam manusia kat katil aku tapi orang tu BESAR sangat!

FRIEND: Haaa??!!!

ME: Then dia tanya aku "Awak Shan kan? Nama awak Liana kan?" Masa tu aku rasa cam nak menjerit tapi tak boleh. Mulut aku rasa cam terkunci.

FRIEND: Pastu apa jadi? (Eyes are already wide with curiosity and fear)

ME: Aku takut so aku angguk je. Then dia cakap "Awak ni baik kan. Selalu belajar. Pandai. Saya ni suka kacau orang baik. Sebab saya benci tengok orang yang baik-baik ni."

FRIEND: Haaaaa!!! Takutnye. Pastu apa jadi? Apa ko buat?

ME: Aku dah berpeluh-peluh tapi aku dah nak histeria dah. Aku cepat cepat geleng kepala. Masa aku nak jawab ni pon suara keluar kecik je. "Tak! Tak! Saya Jahat. Selalu tinggal sembahyang. Selalu dating. Malas belajar. Saya ni jahat!" Tapi benda tu jawab " Tak... saya selalu tengok awak. Saya suka awak." (Friend's eyes look like it's gonna pop out.) Aku still geleng kepala sambil cakap "Tak! Tak!" And then suddenly aku teringat kat ko. I don't know why. Maybe because you were the last person I saw sebelum tidor kot.

FRIEND: Kenapa ko pikir pasal aku? Please say ko tak sebut nama aku! (Already pale with fear)
Me: Sorrylah. Aku dah tak tahu nak buat apa dah. Masa tu aku dah nak histeria dah. Aku cakap kat benda tu yang ko ni baik. Alim. Orang suka kawan ngan ko. Sorilah.

FRIEND: Alaaaaaa! Naper la ko sebut nama aku. Takut!! Pastu apa jadi?

ME: Pastu dia tanya lagi, "Budak tu? Yang ada kereta tu? Yang dok bilik sebalah ni?" Aku angguk je. Rasa cam nak pengsan dah masa tu. Dah la rasa bersalah nak mampos kat ko.

FRIEND: Memang patut pon. Pastu? Pastu?

ME: Pastu dia kata "Kalau dia... tak boleh. Saya tak boleh nak kacau dia." Aku tanya la kenapa. Then dia kata "Sebab... dia tu lah ketua saya." Teeheehee!!

FRIEND: Hah? Celaka ko! Ko kenakan aku ye! AAarrrggghhh!!!

*I suggest anyone who plans to play this prank on someone else make sure that she's not such a scaredy cat and good facial expression is a plus in making the prank more convincing. I would say I succeeded in making my friends geram at me coz I have a nice size pinch bruise to prove it. TeeHeeHee!*

At last...

I don't know how long I'm gonna bitch about blogger but I'm gonna keep bitching till blogger turns ok. WHY!? WHY? WHY must blogger be faulty now? Not at the time when I have no classes to go to and nothing much to do. Aaarrrgggh this is so frustrating.

I've found a new way to let out my frustrations now. By playing 'AMerican Idol'! Yeap, it's the same game that I deemed lame earlier on. Who could've thought that'll it'll be so much fun. I damn sure that last night plenty of asma' residents were in agony hearing me, and Yana singing at the top of our lungs to Gloria Gaynor's 'I will survive'. That song will definitely be the top and formost fave for any karaoke lovers. So why did I deem it lame before? I guess when singing comes into the picture and when done with friends... anything dumb can actually get interesting. Next time I'm gonna force Ika and Awin to belt out to one of the American Idol's tunes.

With all this free time that I'm having in-between anad after classes I've managed to catch up on some gossips and news from old and never ever forgotten friends. One of those people is KAled. It's been like forever since I last sat down in HS with him and really chatted. I've actually forgotten just how much I like the guy and how sweet he can be sometimes. Some people might point out that we're sharing classes and such but it's not the same like hanging out doing nothing in particular. I missed the times when I'd hang out with Kaled and Azman and occasionally the Boabarb (ugh!). But now everyone seems to have drifted apart. Or mellowed somewhat in their friendship. I even notice this in my friendship with Sheena. I still love her to bits though. It's just that it's not like what it used to be and in a way that saddens me.

Anyways back to Kaled, we chatted about stuff, life, class and whatnot when finally he revealed something that I've suspected for a while now. He still likes Deela. It shows in the way that he enquires about her and the way that they just can't get along together despite the fact that Deela is now happy with Is. I don't know what went on in their relationship but it's obvious that both suffered in one way or another. Which is such a shame really since we were all rather close before this. But what's done is done and you just have to move on with your life. But now I feel somewhat guilty for being all lovey dovey with Matt in front of him. Afterwards when he left he sent a message which really touched my heart.

"U know Shan, from da 1st person dat told me u hav feelings 4 him, until u old me urself just now dat u love him, I always pray dat u'll never feel grievience like I felt. Wish u all da best with him."

I wish that someday Kaled will find someone who'll be just right for him He's a nice guy and it sucks that he has to go through what he went through with Deela.

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Woe is me...

I have failed in making my name in the one thing that I really like to do. I have failed to win for the best makeup category for Asma' open day. Waaaah! So sad. I lost to Kak Niza aka Hermia so at least I'm not too bothered. Matt was'nt making me feel any better. He says if Kak Niza was in the running then I'll never win. Humph! I'll show them.

Yeah... yeah... I know that I sound like a whiny shallow retard here but I was really hoping for that prize (althoug it was only a body lotion which I never use anyway). I guess what I really wanted was the recognition of my work. Makeup is a passion of mine. It's something that I love to do. But I guess I'm just not good enough yet to actually warrant a prize. *sigh*

But at least people were happy on how I mede up Kak As. She actually got third place in the Miss Asma' pageant. And the last Inter Mahallah Fashion Show the model that I made up won 2nd place. Perhaps the problem is just me. I can't do good makeup on myself. I can only do it on others. Hmm... definitely something to ponder about.

Another outcome of Asma' open day was food poisoning. Yeap I ended up with diarhorhea and nausea. Thank God I decided to 'puasa' if not I'll probably be weak from running to and fro the bathroom every few seconds. Even Deeja got it too so I know it was definitely the food served. That night well dressed ladies can prove to the world that they too can be rampaging hogs who go wild at the sight and smell of food especially if it's free. I wasn't in the mood to be part of the food rush (I'm definitely a lady, kan Matt?) so I only ended up with a plate of nasi himpit and kuah kacang while others were gorging away on barbequed chicken, hotdogs and mee sup. It wasn't a lucky night for me since the only thing I ate was what gave me food poisoning. 'Oh! Woe is me!'

But everything's cool. I can't wait for ELC's AGM slash post Raya bash. It'll be my last bash here in UIA so I hope it'll be as happening as it was last year. Gotta make way to the juniors now. Hope they do a good job at keeping ELC alive.

Sunday, December 12, 2004

Dedicated especially to Ika and Awin

I have this two annoying cousins right beside me(as I'm writing this) yang dua-dua giler glamer nak mampos!!! Their request was to see their name in every sentence and after every full stop. What lah you guys!! This is what happens when three girls get together for the weekend and have nothing else to do. Before that we were occupied with this idiotic game "American Idol" in which I had the stupidity of buying. But then again this is wat you get if you do want to think and have it easy when playing a game.

Guess what they're doing now. Awin is giving Ika a back rub and if Ika's boyfriend could see hernow I don't know wether he'd die of laughter or embarassment. Thank god now they've calmd down and are watching (of all things!) Judge Dredd.

I'm in Cheras at the mo in the company of these two clowns coz mom is right here in KL for her 40 year high school reunion. Dayyum! I wonder how they're all feeling. One of the programmes lined up is a photo viewing of them in the old days. The days when mini skirts were the in thin and nobody wouldn't be caught dead in a tudung. The 'Jahil' days as my mom called them. If you were to look at her now you'd never believe that she has ever worn a tube top and a micro mini.

Neways I'm kinda frustrated coz PC fair is on and yet I have absolutely no money at all to buy stuff that I want which is a DVD drive. Prices were at rock bottom and I hate the fact that I can't take advantage of it. Aaarrrggghhh! When is UIA gonna give us our money. I NEEDMY MONEY!!! Please god... let D. Nora call me back to work on Quality Quest. I really need the extra cash.

If any of you guys plan towatch Rhinocerous... I just wanna warn you guys that that play is morbid. No other word can describe it better than that. Imagine a world where all of mankind turned to rhinocerous (hence the title of the play, duh!). Sheena and Azreen actually got headaches affter the show coz they wer thinking too hard. As for me...I was watching the play but my mind was only 80% on the play but the other 20% was busy concentrating on Matt. He was GORGEOUS that night in a shirt and tie. Not too mention smelling divine. I think I should ban him from wearing a shirt and tie in front of me from now on. But back tothe play, overall it was a good play.Good acting although there were technical slipups that pro actors should not be doing at all. But the acting was good. In fact they were so into their characters that one of the set nearly fell. Shep being the stage manager was frantic in case that thing really fell.Now that's something to see. Imagine the set toppling down on a performanc night. The theater production will never live it down.

This is a long update since I haven't been able to log on in UIA at all. UIA server sucks. It is the epitome of slowness. I'm frustrated that I can't log on often but I have too much free time on my hands and plenty of thing to write about.*Sigh* I guess I have to be conent that at least UIA have internet. If not I'll surely die!

Anyways, it's already 4.30am and I'm pooped. Those two girls really wore me out not too mention a whole afternoon of playing with Ciku. That boy is gonna grow up and break a lot of girl's hearts. He'sgetting more and more handsome by the day and he's only a year and 5 months old. May god save the female KL population!

Saturday, December 04, 2004

Fix the problem damn it!

Blogger is still having problems with their systems and its taking them ages to get these thing fixed. Fix the problem damn it! I need my release in blogs!!

Today was the first day of the infamous DESKTOP COMPUTING class. Yeap... with the boy crazy lecturer. Again she showed to the world her preference towards boys by asking us girls to drop the class. Come on Lady! By saying that only boys are good in graphic design you're definitely sending us women back to the stone age. It's not that I'm a feminist or anything but girls nowadays are as good as boys in most things and even better than boys in other things. But with that way of thinking that lecturer should be transported back to the stone age. I was selected as the assistant class rep by the way. I dunno why I always get myself into these predicaments.

Besides the lecturer the class was definitely as cool as I had expected it. This is the first class that really challenges me and somehow I am now more intent than ever to score. No matter what that psycho lecturer says. I just wish I don't have to lug the laptop around to class because it is so damn heavy. I'd better find a way to lighten the load. If not by the end of the semster my shoulder would be at my waists.

I kinda pity the other students who are looking for textbooks for the class though. They definitely wont find anymore books at the library after this. I think they're all checked out after Da'oh took out 18 books. Just because of that psycho lecturer. I seriously think that Kaleds idea about writing that book is something to ponder about.

Tonight is theater club AGM so I wonder how that is gonna turn out. I hope Apek steps down. Tasnim should be the president because he shows more enthusiasm in it than Apek does. Oh well... I'm graduating so I know I won't be getting any posts. I'm content by just being the makeup artist. Which reminds me, I'm the official makeup artist for Asma in the Inter Mahallah Cultural Week. Woohooo! That'll definitely be fun. I can't wait.

Friday, December 03, 2004


I don't know what's happening to blogger account but this is the first time that I managed to actually get to post something after days of trying. So at last!!!

Just as I had predicted the first few days of classes was uneventful so I decided to make it eventful by going out. I guess I wasn't the only one with the same agenda as the public transportations going in and out of UIA were jam packed with students. I guess business was really slow for them during the break so now they have to work overtime.

You know it's really ironic that most people would use the time at home to groom themselves and and keep their appearance in tip top condition (excluding their weight because a whole month of lounging at home is definitely an invitation for extra weight gain:P) but in my case is the definite opposite. So here I am in the first few days of class and my eyebrows are all bushy, zits all over my face, weight gain (that goes without mention) and dry, cracked lips. In short I looked horrible!

So the first thing I had to take care off was definitely my eyebrows. It was taking over my entire face. So off I go to Bangsar with Azreen for our threading session. For those people who has never done threading, FYI it CAN hurt. So there I was at the mercy of the threader lady (is this right?) just to get myself a pair of neat even eyebrows. After the session was also a whole day of red, sore and swollen eyelids. But the results was definitely worth it. As for the rest of my grooming regiment, it was all done in the confines of my room and shall not be disclosed here;P

With my looks taken care off (Geez I sound so shallow here) the next thing on my agenda was of course hanging out with Matt. Although I hung out with him in Alor Setar but that doesn't count because family was present. And talking about family, I only told one person about my trip to Alor Setar and the next thing I know the news has spread and people were congratulating me about meeting the approval of Matt's parent (And NO... I didn't go to Matt's house for the approval of his parents, it was only a courtesy visit.) News do travel fast. Anyways back to hanging out... apparently a lot of couples had the same agenda too as HS was full of couples unleashing their month long deprivation of each other. I qoute Azhan Hadi "A month without seeing Aini (the girlfriend) is like a year..." AWWW! Isn't that so MUSHY!! Sweet but mushy.

It was kinda cool seeing the gang again as well seeing all the new faces joining the crowd. The new juniors are hard to miss what with their fresh, boyish faces and the girls going round with theri white tudung and matric cards. So skema. But from what I've seen the new BENL juniors seems okay so I'm looking forward to see how they're gonna turn out.

As for my classes... some has started while some havent. The ones that has started was all the tough classes. MSL, World Lit, Editing and Desktop (that seems to be bulk of my classes for the semester. Yikes!) One incident that I shall never forget is my war with the lecturer and the Communications department just so that I can stay in the Desktop computing class.

One thing that I do not understand is that did the department opened a class that only wanted 25 student max, for 50 openeing when they knew way earlier that there was only computers that can support 14 students. So now they have over students in the class so they automatically decided to delete the names of students that they think shouldn't take the class. That was so unfair. Now that was the decision of the department but the lecturer was a different matter altogether. A lot of students were determined to stay in the class so to discouraged students she actually threatened us to drop the class. She even ensured us that 80% of the class would get a 'C'. An who does she want to stay in that class? Boys! So 'GATAL'! Even for rescheduling the class she refuses to shift the class to 8am just because she says guys 'susah nak bangun'! The majority of the class are girls and all of the girls and even the boys can make it to the 8am session but no... she has to follow the boys. What is this lecturer up to? You want a class full of boys then you could always teach an all boys high school. I'm just glad that after all the hassle my name was mantained in the class list. So now I have to prepare myself to be taught under alecturer who is biased and determined to make as many of her student's lives as miserable as possible. I actually wondered is all my effort to stay in that class worth it? I hope so. Kaled suggested I write a novel about my experiences in that class after I graduate and call it 'The Survivor'. Come to think about it... it may be a good idea. I'll publish the book, dedicate it to her and send her one complimentary copy with my signature on it. Hahaha! I wonder what she'll say about that. I'll defnitely post more stuff about her and the class in the future.

So for this semester some classes would definitely be a challenge for me to score. I guess I'll just have to buck up and double my effort. Wish me luck!!

Sunday, November 28, 2004

Back to Uni!

Tonight is the final night of my month long break. Starting from tomorrow it'll be time to hit the books again. As I said before I'm looking forward to having something to do during the day other than eat, sleep, and s**t but now my fickle mind just doesn't feel like heading back to uni. I feel like staying home and do nothing but eat, sleep and s**t all day. Talk about contradiction huh.

I can't wait to see the others though. I really miss the guys. I'm sure the girls would be proudly displaying their baju raya, kasut raya, or whatever raya as soon as class starts. Nina would be proudly displaying her new kereta raya this sem. Lucky B***h! But anyways, good for her. One more person whom I can hitch a ride from hehe!

The trip to Alor Setar was kinda cool. I'm lucky because I had my own personal tour guide to show me round. If it was otherwise I'd probably be stuck in that ratty hotel room all day. So thanks a lot Matt:> A word of advice to all... if you're ever going to Alor Setar, don't stay at the Grand Continental. It sucks. It's a good thing that accomodation was paid for by the Jabatan if not we're definitely being ripped off. The only good thing about the hotel was its location. But in truth I'd never recommend that hotel to anyone.

Neways due to spending 3 nights in the same room as my mom my sleeping schedule has miraculously followed hers so now as soon the clock hit 11pm my eyes are already drooping. I'm actually putting a lot of effort just to stay awake right now. *YAWN* The problem is why am I still waking up late even though I'm sleeping early? That shall always be a mystery to me.

Thursday, November 25, 2004

Mengantok nie...

Actually I'm supposed to be on the road headed towards Alor Setar right now but my workaholic of a mother decided to drop by the school first to check whether there's anything that need settling before she goes off to Kedah for MORE work. Of course there'll be something to settle at school. There'll always be work. It's never ending especially if you're the boss. I can't blame her though. I'm exactly like her. I thrive on having something to do and if I have too much free time on my hands I just wilt. I guess like mother like daughter huh.

It's just that I hate waiting. Basically there's nothing much for me to do at home. I'm all packed and ready to go, there's no point in me going to the add drop thingy because my schedule is okay so here I am bored to death and getting sleepier by the minute. Help! I'm wilting!

I checked out Sheena's blog a while ago and she still hasn't updated anything so I guess she's still busy celebrating Raya. Raya sakan budak tu. As for me I've had enough kuih raya to last me for another year. I dunno whether Matt is gonna insist on me to beraya at his house so If I do go I just hope he doesn't force me to eat any kuih raya. I might gag.

I logged on the add drop thingy just for fun but it was kinda depressing because there's nothing much I can do there anyways. I only have a few more subjects to take and they're all planned out so what's the point of rearranging anything. I'm gonna miss these add drop sessions. I can't believe I'll be graduating soon. Gosh I feel so old.

Anyways, I'm gonna go and get some shut eye. I'm already running out of ideas anyways. Mom... cepatlah balik! I'm bored!

Wednesday, November 24, 2004


Results are out and thank God they're not as bad as I thought they'd be. As usual my results are always a little suprising. The subject that I'd never thought I'd do ok was OK and the one that I was confident with was not so OK. But most of all I'm just glad that I don't have to repeat Arabic writing!!! Yey!! What a relief. I was really worried that I might have to repeat the subject but thank god I don't. But that doesn't mean that Arabic is over for me. I still have to go through Speaking and listening. Aaarrgghh! When will this agony end?

But now I can go off to Alor Setar in peace. No more worrying about my results. Oh and I'm glad too that my Error paper went welll if not I'll never hear the end of it from Dr Nora whenever I go into the office. I wonder if Adeq did well too. I hope so.

I can't wait to get back to campus. I miss my friends. I even miss my room. Just a few more days...

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

What's my results?

Results are supposed to be out today and I don't know what to expect. I'm kinda hopeful, a little optimistic but also doubtful that I might do well. I wonder why IIU is taking such a long time to post up our results. This sucks!

Raya this year is kinda boring for me since not everyone came back. Abe only came back on the third day of Raya while Abang Andy didn't come back at all since Kak Linda gave birth again. They got another boy whom they named Wira Adam Keifli. So welcome to the world Adam! Ika and Auntie Mama both came back with a bad flu and cough which I also caught later on. In fact I'm still coughing till now. I hate being sick. It just makes you feel like doing nothing but sleep. And now I'm supposed to go to Alor Setar for a few days but I won't be able to enjoy the trip much if I'm coughing most of the time.*sigh*

I can't wait to get to Alor Setar. I've only visited it once so I'm looking forward to see it again. And this time I have my very own tour guide-Matt. He'd better take me to all the cool places but knowing him he'd probably take me to all the places where he likes to eat. That's all I ever hear about everytime he talks about his beloved Alor Setar. Oh well... as long as the food's good.

Neways... just a couple days left before all IIU people heads back to campus. I must say that it's quite a relief. I'm already bored out of my mind so I can't wait for some stuff to do. Anyhow got to stop. I have a hungry sister I got to feed!

Thursday, November 11, 2004

Hari Raya

It's amazing how fast time flies by. It felt like it was only a few days ago that I first woke up with my campus roommates for sahur after cramming for the exams the night before. And now it's only a few days away until Raya. This means for that my family and I will have to make that 5 hour trip to our hometown in Kelantan, Tanah Merah. In fact people are already making the journey back to their hometown. I guess Sheena is probably safe and sound in Penang right now.

Anyways I love Kelantan but I hate the journey back. 5 hours in a car is excruciating and added to the fact that we have to puasa then it just becomes unbearable. But still I thank god that the road conditions nowadays are way better than the time when I was a kid. In those days the trip was an 8 hour journey. 8 hours of winding and twisting road with nothing much to look at but trees, trees and more trees. Oh and the fact that my sister used to get carsick did not make things any better either.

Mom is a little worried about the journey back since it has been raining for quite a bit. Rain has its pros and cons. The pros of rain is that it makes the weather bearable so that we wont be all hot and sweaty despite the air conditioning but the cons of rain is that it'll make the road slippery, our vision becomes limited and there's always that scary possibility of landslide. I just hope that when we head back nothing bad happens. I'm glad that mom is such an overly careful driver:P

If I were to worry about the bad things that could happen along the way, the possibilities is endless so I'm just gonna concentrate on the stuff that I'm looking forward too. I can't wait to see all my cousins again. It's too bad that we only meet up once in a while during Raya and such. But I guess those rare meetings make them even sweeter. I just love it when all the cousins gather up during the night and chat away until either the sun comes up or until all the food is gone. Usually it's the latter. Now our number is steadily dwindling. Some are married and some are working or studying somewhere so it's not really the same anymore. Oh well, as time goes on people are bound to change so it’s better to hold on to whatever we have left.

Raya has always been an occasion that everyone looks forward to but as you grow older usually the excitement is not the same as we were younger. I guess it's partly because as you grow older you know that you won't get as much 'duit raya' as you used too. Ika was just commenting to me last night that this year the feel of Raya is just not in the air. In a way I have to agree with her. I mean even the TV ads this year are not that hyped up concerning Raya or Deepavali. But still I think everyone is definitely looking forward to meeting up with family and just eating good food after a month of fasting. A whole month of fasting gone down the rain after 2 days of Raya :P

As for me Raya would mark the near end of our Month long holiday. Although I'm not looking forward to attending classes (especially Arabic) and assignments but I am looking forward to doing something with my time (opposed to sleep, sleep and more sleep), meeting up with friends and of course seeing Matt again. I can't wait to see him again but most of all I miss talking to him. I've never before met a guy that I'm totally at ease when I'm talking. But other than that I'm curious on what Raya program that'll be in store when we get back. I hope the Raya bash will be on. Last year's bash was fun so I hope this year will be better. I'm also planning on having BENL's first annual alumni dinner. I have to talk to Dr. Nuraihan on how to make that happen.

Anyways, going back to Kelantan would mean that I'll be without internet and a computer for a full week so I definitely won't be blogging. So if I don't log on before I go back I just wanna wish everyone a Very Happy Deepavali as well as A Joyous Raya for everyone. Have fun everyone!

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

The kid in me.

I'm already pushing 23 and yet I enjoy watching cartoons and animation that sometimes I wonder am I really an adult or just a kid stuck in an adult's body. I think the answer is definitely the latter.

Can you believe that each day at 3pm I'm stuck in front of the telly just to watch 'As Told By Ginger' on Nick. I don't know why but I love that show and my addiction to that show is similar to soap dramas addiction. I think it'll be great if they actually turned Ginger into a real series. They're already addressing issues that teens nowadays are facing like love, heartbreak, friends, family matters and such so it'll be great as a series. But I guess when it is turned into a series it'll probably be cliched. So maybe it's better for Ginger to stay as a cartoon .

It's kinda embarassing when you think about it but in truth I love cartoons. They're a great way to unwind and relax because you don't have to think when you watch cartoons. Right now I'm a huge fan of Nick and Disney channel and I only switch to other channels when there's reality programs are on. I love reality programs like The Apprentice and next Top Model. My TV programs preference is kinda funny isn't it?

Anyways I can't wait to watch the new disney animation 'The Incredibles'. It looks great. Maybe I'll take Aimee to watch it after we get back from Raya. I think I'll forever love Disney movies. Even when I'm old and wrinkly. And I'll definitely teach my kids to love them too. Great way for family bonding (Jeez... why am I even thinking about this.)

I know that once I head back for campus I'm definitely gonna miss my fave TV channels. Good thing that Anis has a TV card so atleast I get to watch some stuff that I like. I'm seriously considering installing a TV card of my own but nah... what's the point I can always watch with Anis. I'm also definitely gonna miss Astro once I'm in Kelantan. It just doesn't feel the same anymore just watching standard TV and not satellite TV. Astro has definitely changed our lives. I pity Mama coz she'll be missing her fave Philipino soap drama. Maybe with some luck that once we get back from Kel;antan the soap hasn't ended yet. It'll be such a pity if she missed the ending since she followed that series from the very beginning. Thanks God that I'm not a drama series junkie!

Monday, November 08, 2004

Raya Madness

For those who are thinking of any last minute raya shopping… DON'T! It's chaos out there. People of all race, age and nationality are all out for the same thing… bargains. Yeap it's the season of the 'Deeparaya' sale.

My sister and I had to buy some basic necessities so my mom decided to take us out to Kinta City the most renowned shopping complex in Ipoh. Basically it's just a two storey family shopping mall run by Jaya Jusco. The reason why it's so famous is because of its location. It's the closest to the biggest residential area in Ipoh.

So anyways, we arrived at 10am. You may be wondering why we're there so early, well my mom (a very smart lady indeed) knew what we were gonna face so she decided to get there early so that we won't have to worry about parking space. And all that while I thought she wanted to get home early so she can rest since its Ramadhan and all. You think that by arriving at 10 we'd be the earliest there since shops only open at 10.15am but no, we were not the first to arrive. The parking lot was already half full. So then off we went on our expedition for stuff!

It wasn't easy mind you. There were people everywhere but what I find most irritating is those kids who zoom round on those roller shoes of theirs. Hello! Parents! Can't you see that there's a gazillion people at the store? Those kids were zooming around not caring whether they'll run somebody down. I actually laughed when one of them actually ran into a wall. Serves them right (see Alia... I can be evil:P)

But guess where the longest line was? At the ATM machine! I pity those people lining up. My mom (she's really smart) came prepared so she shopped until she nearly dropped. But guess what I got out of fumbling my way through throngs of people doing near festival shopping? Toner, deodorant, a purse (which I absolutelt adore coz it was 70% off) and some inner wear (u know what I mean!). *Sigh* throngs of people just makes shopping tiresome for me. Not too mention the call of Secret Recipe Cakes and Baskin Robbins Ice cream which just had to be ignored. That's it after Raya I'm going shopping with a vengence! Muahaha!

P/S the new Nokia flip phone Nokia 2600 was just released today and to tell you the truth it wasn't what I imagined it to be. They turned out to be rather boring but in way quite trendy too. It's RM 699 which is a little over my budget but... itll be cool to use that phone. However, I kinda like the new Motorola c380. Hmm... choices...choices... choices...

Saturday, November 06, 2004

Blog Hopping

I've never been one to blog hop. I just don't feel like browsing through stranger's blog. Reason? 1) They're strangers so half the time I don't even know what they're talking about and 2)I'm a lazy bum. But last night due to sheer boredom (Gee... what else is new?) I decided to blog hop and see what interesting things I might find.

I did find some intersting blogs and some are very engaging to read but I noticed a similarity with most blogs, the pages are pretty sedate (sorry people). What I mean by sedate is that its only words and nothing else. Not much for eye candy. Unlike my page which is full of pictures and marquees and such. Out of all the blogs I checked out only 2 had tagboards. In a way it made me feel like I went over the top with my own page. Hmm... perhaps I did but what the heck. As long as I like it.

I just feel that if you want to get people to be interested in what you have to offer you have to find a way to get them to stop awhile. So for me by making my page decorative is a way to make them and stop and read what I have to say. Other than that it just makes me feel good. It's like decorating a house and you create a good ambiance. WHen you have good surroundings then ideas and inspiration will definitely flow. Blogs are an outlet where you express yourself so I guess for me the 'extras' on my page are an expression of my creative side. I've never been a poet like Sheena. I suck in poetry so let out my creativity this way.

But I'm not saying that those who didn't have anything 'extra' on their page means that their blogs are boring. Some were outstanding even without decorations and such. I found a blog by this one guy who had a unique style of writing his blog. He really impressed me but you wouldn't say that if you were to judge by how his blog looks like. The page was rather bland. It's such a pity that my internet line went dead as soon as I was about to add a comment on his page. So now I don't know what the blog address is and I just hope that one day I might stumble across it again.

A day of stuffing myself...

Today was quite an experience for me. Today I had a hand at making apple pie and lasagna! Definitely something that I'm proud of because they came out just right albeit both were a little salty. But I blame that on it being my first time trying to make those two dishes. And besides saltiness was easily remedied. The apple pie just needed a little vanilla ice cream and voila... apple pie ala mode. YUM! The Lasagna just had to make do how it was but I don't see any of my family complaining so I'm proud of myself today.

So today was officially a day of stuffing myself. It was like the lasagna and the apple pie was both taking turns beckoning me to eat them. But I have to be STRONG! Puasa is for you to lose weight not gain them. Well... it's not my fault that I had too much time on my hands and decided to cook all my favourite food. I blame it on IIU's schedule! (It's ironic that when we're having too muvh time in vacation we're complaining that we're bored but when we're in campus we just can't wait to get back home.)

So to kill time I experimented with cooking, turned the house upside down with cleaning, practically grew roots in front of the telly and the computer, annoyed both my sisters endlessly and still working on my mom, hmm... so what else should I do? Seriously I've exhausted all ideas on how to fill up my spare time. This is getting to be a challenge for me every semester. I think that everytime before semester break I should collect stuff for me to do at home as well plan ahead on activities that I could do at home. But then I'd probably do them during the first week I'm back and then the cycle just goes on and on and on and on.

So to anyone out there... if you have any ideas on what I could do... PLEASE just tell me. I need help!


A friend of mine posted this up on the Bulletin Board in Friendster and I think everyone should be aware of this. I don't know whether it's a hoax or not but I guess it pays to be wary.

Message: A lady at a nightclub on a Saturday night was taken by 5 men, who according to hospital and police reports, gang raped her before dumping her.

Unable to remember the events of the evening, tests later confirmed the repeat rapes along with traces of Rohypnol in her blood and Progesterex, essentially a small sterilization pill. The drug is now being used by rapists at parties to rape AND sterilize their victims. Progesterex is available to vets to sterilize large animals. Progesterex is being used together with Rohypnol, the date rape drug. As
with Rohypnol, all they have to do is drop it into the girl's drink.

The girl can't remember a thing the next morning, of all that had taken place the night before. Progesterex, which dissolves in drinks just as easily, is such that the victim doesn't get pregnant!; she won't conceive from the rape and the rapist needn't worry about having a paternity test identifying him months later.

The drug's effects ARE NOT TEMPORARY - They are P*E*R*M*A*N*E*N*T Progesterex was designed to sterilize horses..

Any female who takes it will NEVER BE ABLE TO CONCEIVE.. The weasels cn get this drug from anyone who is in the vet school or any university. ! It's that easy, and
Progesterex is about to break out big on campuses everywhere. Believe it or not, there are even sites on the Internet telling people how to use it. Please forward this to everyone you know, especially girls.. Be careful when you're out and
don't leave your drink unattended. Please make the effort to forward this on to all you know...

please inform all your female friends and relatives.

Thursday, November 04, 2004

Bush won again!

Well... Looks like Bush has won a second term in the White house. I wonder how he won. I just hope this is not the start of World War III

Period Pain is a Bitch!

My period came today thus dashing my hopes of actually making it through Ramadhan period-free. It's kinda weird actually why it came now since my last cycle came right before puasa start. Anyways this isn't something I should talk about in public. Hehe!

But period pain is a bitch. I haven't had cramps for a while now and when it comes it attacks with a vengeance. Me groaning and moaning in a fetal position is not a pretty sight to see. Even now even with the pain less intense as before it's still uncomfortable and there's nothing you can do to actually ease it. Unless you knock yourself out with a painkiller and all is well. However I'm not one of those people who like to indulge in painkillers. I believe pain makes a person tougher. So as long as I can still bear it I'll lay off the painkiller.

Guys seem to love to make fun of girls whenever girls have cramps. That is a mystery that'll stay unsolved. I remember once a few guy friends of mine were making fun of me while I was having cramps while waiting for the next class. They were just not convinced that cramps can be that painful. Seriously it's one thing to make fun of girls when they're okay but it's another when they’re having cramps. All I said was "Why don’t you go take a garden fork, skewer it in your groin and turn it 360degrees for a full 24 hours. Then tell me whether it’s that painful or not." Raging hormones and girl power shut them up instantly. I guess I kinda made my point.

Ever watched the movie 'The Astronaut's Wife' where the astronaut's body (Johnny Depp) was taken over by an alien and it wanted to do was reproduce so that it can take over the world. The wife (Charlize Theron) soon became suspicious but in the end she was the one taken over by the alien. Quite a cool movie and Johnny Depp *sigh* is as delicious as always. Anyways there was a scene in that movie where the wife had a dream that she saw her baby holding up her bloody uterus, a signal that something was wrong with her baby. That is exactly how I feel when I get cramps. I feel like ripping my uterus out so that I won’t feel the pain.

I'm just glad that tomorrow (hopefully) all of this will be over. And also while everyone is holding themselves back from eating and drinking I'll be free to eat and drink whenever I like. Muahahah! But nah… I'll follow along. It won't be fair on my sisters. Perhaps a drink or two is okay :P

The Way of Da’wah.

Concerning the Issue of 'Masuk Islam, Masuk Melayu', it made me ponder further on how it affects the progress of da'wah here in Malaysia. Undeniably because of this issue many non-muslims especially Chinese are very reluctant to embrace Islam because they think that Islam is 100% Malay related, which is wrong by the way. But then again we can't really blame them because there are plenty of Malays out there who thinks this way too. The way we think and the way we act is in itself a form of da'wah.

I myself hate when people start to preach. It's long winded and boring. People especially teens no longer want to long preaches and sermons. Teens nowadays have mastered the art of blocking out things that they don't wanna hear. Do you ever wonder why Raihan was so successful when they first came into the entertainment industry? They managed to sell 750 000 copies of their album which no one other than a handful of other artist have managed to achieve. It's quite a feat considering that they were bringing messages of Islam in their songs and not crooning sappy love songs like all the other artists were doing. Why were they successful? Because they were different and they portrayed Islam in a positive light. Islam is not a religion that is based on fear and punishment but of peace. But there’s still people out there preaching about the punishments that you get for your sins. This method will only make people fear Islam and perhaps learn to resent it.

A certain lecturer of mine once commented on the methods used by these preachers. He's Canadian and a mu'allaf himself so he has seen the ways Christian preachers preach. Their way was a way of promoting love while the way of our people was one of criticism. We criticize people of their wrongdoings and ask them to repent. But seriously, who likes to be criticized? I am the type that the more people criticize my lifestyle the more I want to do it. To rebel on what is right. But I don't think I'd feel that way if I were approached nicely and was drawn to talk about the matter.

I just wish that there are people in Malaysia who’d talk about Islam liberally and try to see Islam in the perspective of the Non-Muslims and also of those trying to understand Islam. There are many born Muslims out there who want to understand Islam better but also hopes that Islam understands them.

"To lash out at the darkness is in vain, to fight it just light a candle!"

Embracing Islam is embracing Malay?

There was an article that I found in 'Milenia Muslim' which talks about ethnocentrism which means the belief that one's ethnic identity is far more superior to others. This time they were relating it to the issue of Non-Muslim embracing Islam. This issue has come up once or twice before and it was refreshing to read an article written in the perspective of a newcomer (mu'allaf).

In Malaysia we've always associated Islam with Malays. If you're Malay then you're definitely Muslim but most people also think that if you’re Muslim then you're Malay or should become like one. This is SO wrong.

I don't know why this issue should come up when we've been living in a country which is multiracial and religious freedom is practice. So when a non-Muslim wants to embrace Islam or any other religion, cultural aspect of a race associated with that religion shouldn’t be a part of religion itself. But that is exactly what is happening. For a non-Muslim embracing Islam also means embracing Malay 'masuk Melayu'. I have personally seen proof of this so-called phenomenon.

Once when I was 14, I was reprimanded for eating with chopsticks. I was at a mall with a bunch of friends having lunch when suddenly the security guard came up to me and says, "Awak tak malu ke. Dahla pakai tudung tapi makan macam orang kafir." (Aren't you ashamed? You're wearing a scarf and yet you're eating like a non-Muslim.) Then the guy walked off. I was speechless. All this while I have never been told that eating with a chopstick was wrong. I even use it at home and my parents are cool about it. But like any 14 year old I just laughed it off. But at home I mentioned the incident to my dad and surprisingly he was quite steamed up about it. He gave me a point which no one could refute, there's more than 100 million Muslims in China which is 10 times more Muslims in Malaysia so should we reprimand them for eating with chopsticks? And what about the fork and spoon? They're not Malay's culture so should we stop using them?

Quite a big issue for a 14 year old to ponder about but what my dad says makes sense even then. We should never associate Islam with a culture. If we do then what's the point of God creating different kind of people. I don't like to point fingers but its people like that security guard that takes Islam back and not forward. These type of people have this mindset that the Malay way is the best and all other races just doesn't know any better hence they’re 'kafirs'. Well… have they ever wondered why those people don't want to embrace Islam?

No race wants their culture to die out so it is understandable when certain people are apprehensive about converting to another religion. It's especially worrying to the converter's members of the family of the. They're worried that any ties to their family will be severed. But we should always remember once we’re born into a certain race we shall die as a member of that race and nothing can ever change that. Even religion.

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

Just goes to show how bored I am...

Wanna see how bored I am. I'm actually doing quizzes at Quizilla! But I'm kinda happy with the results. They kinda represent ME and what I love most!

Evil(Hehe! That's funny! I've always thought as myself being evil.)

What Kanji word best suits you?

ex v

You're a Vampire. Vampires were the creatures of the night that were believed to live off of human blood. Count Dracula, being the most famous vampire, set the stereotype. They had dark hair and pale skin from being away from the sunlight (It's true I dont go out in the sun much). If they actually existed, it's very possible they had the skin disease that made you allergic to the sun so whenever the sunlight would hit it, it would hurt like crazy (my skin doesn't hurt but I sweat like a pig and I hate that. So I avoid the sun). They were usually snobbish and control freaks and kept werewolves as pets (I don't think I'm a snob but I've always wanted a tiger as pet. Is that okay for a pet?).

What Mystical Creature Are You? (Pictures)


Jaguar Spirit Calls To You!
Jaguar's Wisdom

Seeing the roads within chaos
Understanding the patterns of chaos
Moving without fear in the darkness
Facilitating soul work
Empowering oneself
Moving in unknown places
Psychic sight

Animal Spirit Guides ~ Which One Calls To You?

But this quiz out of all really represents me.

Tis an ice dragon breathes...when the first snowflake doesnt melt....

Your an ice dragon! Congrats! Out of all the dragons, you are most powerful but do not like to show it. A rare and special creture, you have artistic style and are great at expressing yourself. You think friends and Family are the most important, and are a hopeless romantic. But of course, as ice goes, you can be a little cold or harsh at times. But not to worry, you always apologize later!

What elemental dragon are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Insomnia's dillemma!

I tried calling Matt a while back and I couldn't get through. I'm trying to be careful with telephone usage nowadays since mom has been dropping hints about the phone bill. Erk! But sheer boredom made me pick up the phone and call him. I just need to do something or have someone to talk to. But alas! Can't get through so here I am typing away aimlessly. His birthday is coming up this Thursday though and he's FINALLY turning 20!

I'm in love with Matt and I think that he's like the greatest guy I've ever met but I must admit that him being 19 somewhat bothers me. All this while I've been thinking of myself as a liberal thinking girl and I try to take things with an open mind but somehow this matter bothers me. I'll be happier if he was 20 rather than 19.

I guess its because I've been brought up in a society where traditionally its preferable that guys should be older. Even in religion girls are asked to find a guy who are older than they are. Reason: girls mature faster than guys. In a way its true. But there are cases where this is the opposite like with Matt. Certain times he's proven himself to be way more mature than most guys his age. He looks more matured too. I have a friend who thought that he was already working. It's the 'MALAY' in me. Susah sikit nak terima:P

I dont think its the looks that bothers me but more towards where we are in life right now that bothers me. I'll be graduating in sem 3 and he'll still be in uni. To me somehow that just doesn't feel right. The thing is I've been trying to shake this feeling off but I can't and that bothers me even more. I guess in this relationship of mine that'll be the biggest obstcale that I have to face. Age.

Confusion is what I mostly feel at the moment. I'm confused why I'm feeling this way and what I should do about it. I know that people nowadays doesn't care about age anymore but why does it bother me? Even my family sems cool with it. I just can't understand it.

Despite all the apprehension, confusion and doubt I know that I love that guy and that no matter what I'm gonna try to make this relationship work. He means more to me that what mere numbers represent. I guess its that contradictory nature in me. Like I always say to people... I'm a head full of ironies and a body full of contradictions.

Monday, November 01, 2004

I wonder how on earth the photographer managed to take this picture... Posted by Hello

What's up with my blog skin?

I dunno why but I've been pretty unlucky so far with my blog skin. his is probably the zillionth time I've edited it just for the skin alone. Last time it happened everything just disappeared and I had to redo EVERYTHING gain from scratch. Technically I was also at fault for not saving the codes in the first place. Oh well... I definitely learnt from that experience.

Then... everything was fine for a while when suddenly, the main picture disappeared. The one that I was so proud of! But apparently I wasn't the only one suffering that problem so I decided to change the picture and take it from my fave site But alas, again trouble was in store for me as they had remove some pics due to technicalities. So I had to look for more pics again. SO this is the final results! Although I must say that I'm particularly happy with the outcome of this one. I just hope it doesn't disappear like the others.

Holidays are getting a tad boring now. Nothing much has been going on except for vegetating in front of the couch and stuffing my face. I NEED something to do! I mean other than baking Raya biscuits. Aaaargh I'm kinda sick of that too! Now my hands constatly smell of butter.

Anyways... happy Halloween to all who celebrates the day where ghosts are free to wander back on earth. Although Malaysia doesn't celebrate this event extensively at least Astro had some really cool programs on TV so at least Halloween was enjoyable. But now the problem of getting rid of my boredom. Aaaarrrggghhh!!! Help me!

Saturday, October 30, 2004

Thai Mass Massacre.

The Muslim community is again shocked with the news of over 80 Thai Muslim who died after being piled up in a truck by the Thai army. What's even more saddening was that it happened in the holy month of Ramadhan. Many are speculating about this incident on whether it was a deliberate attack on the Muslims or whether the Thai army was that STUPID and that DUMB to think that people would survive piled up like sardines for a 6 hour trip to the jail.

Personally I'm disappointed with the Prime Minister. I may be wrong but it seems as though that he doesn't put much blame on the army. It's true that these people were demonstraters but according to the people even innocent bystanders were captured and treated like dirt. What has the world come to?

Pattani has always been an Muslim dominated region and they've been fighting to become an independant state for a long time but it's a wonder why Thailand, a Buddhist country, would still want to keep on Pattani. This tragedy would now fuel the fire of the Reformist at hands and soon there would undoubtedly be more protests and demonstration and perhaps more bloodshed.

It's a pity that this tragedy had to happen now when people should be celebrating nad preparing for eid. Rantau Panjang has now become a deadtown because of the tragedy and I seriously pity those traders who look forward to festive seasons to boost up their sales. I have relatives in Golok and I wonder how they are right now and I hope things are okay for them over there.

I think the army should be blamed foe what happened and Thailand should take action on those who were involved. Just because you were given the authority to apprehend people but it does not give you the right to kill.

Another side of the rich brats.

Like Nina last Thursday I watched the program "The Simple Life" which features Paris Hilton, heiress of the Hilton Hotels empire, and her best friend Nicole Richie, daughter of Lionel Richie. They're shipped off to a remote farm town, stripped of their cellphones and money and are forced to work. At first I thought this program would be hilarious(still is). Imagine two rich brats trying to work at a farm. I've never liked Paris Hilton and thinks that she looks like a skank. I've always wondered why GUESS would actually take her on as a model. I just can't see where her beauty lies. She's so shallow! All kids born with a proverbial silver spoon are.

But after watching the show I've realised that somehow I was also the shallow one. All these while I've only judged Paris Hilton through the pictures that I see and through the stories that the media feed us. In a way the show shows the world her personality. What I saw was a little girl stuck in a woman's body always craving attention. Granted that she has been pampered like mad and there were moments when vanity and rich kid syndrome took over but overall she seemed okay. She was polite, she does as she's told and she really cares about her mom and about the feelings of those who were hosting her. Even Nicole was polite. I guess it's not their fault that they had soooo much money at their disposal.

But the show is cool and at least those two would feel how it is to really work. Yeah they may be working now as a model or as a singer or whatever it is they do but cold hard labour would do them some good. Thank God that they're sporting enough to go along with what the producer had in store for them.

The other show "Young, rich and loaded" was just too tasteless to watch. If you guys say Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie was spoiled I don't know what you can call these guys. They're so aimless and life and their main purpose of living is to finish off all the money their parents earned. There's this scene in themovie 'White Chicks' where the bad guy finally tells his family that they're bankrupt but because they're so used to living grandly that he had to resort to kidnapping rich kids for ransom. Just goes to show that too much of a good thing is never good. Anyways, I just hope my kids wont be like that when I become a millionaire:P


Heyya Guys!

I had a nice suprise when I checked out my blog today to see Tinie, one of my uni juniors, left me a message. What's cool is that she has her own blog but what's even better is that some of the others are bloggers too. I know I sound rather 'jakun' and totally not 'savvy' at all but I am kinda new at this blogging thing so bear wif me:P

Neways I kinda liked some of the skins that they used especially Dianne. I've always had a thing about old antique looking parchments and romantic scripts (blame the jiwang karat in me). But you wanna know something funny, I've always wondered who uses the same skin as I do and I finally found someone who did. I just never thought it would be someone I know. Talk about irony! But... since I've made major changes to the skin I think I can safely say that the skin is one in a million now though credits still go out to dreamwalker for creating a really fantastic skin for me to start with. What I'm really happy about now is that I finally have a page counter! But for now it makes my page looks like a wuss cause the counter only up to number 10 although the page has been up for like months. Oh well... still looking for stuff to add on though especially games.

It's nice to finally find some other bloggers that I know. It's cool to read some stranger's blog but for me that's like reading fiction but you don't really know all the characters involved so it's not much fun. When you read your friend's blogs you relate to what you read. Their blogs are like a small portal to their souls. Sometimes you see more of the writer in their writings than through the person themselves. In some ways, writing gives you the freedom you crave that speech can't but writing also gives you control too so there's not much room for mistakes in writing. At least that's how I feel. I fell more at ease if I let out my feelings through writing rather than speech. It's an outlet for me because I know that no one judges me when I write and it's up to me what I write. I guess that's why literature appeal so much to me. Freedom of expression all through writing even in drama ad theater. It all starts out with someone penning their emotions and their message and then actors come and act out those emotions in the purest form of expression. No barriers hence the beauty of theater.

I know Matt is kinda disappointed sometimes when I pen down my feelings more rather than talk it out with him. But it's hard when you've been emotionally dependant for so long that letting everything out doesn't come natural to you. It's even harder when you're trying to let someone in.

You know, blogs have helped me in more ways than I realised. Life has been like a wheel for me lately with constant ups and downs thus resulting in me drawing away from friends and spending quality solitary time. I hope my friends don't blame Matt for my absence(although he is to blame a little:P). It's just that time is now an essence for a much needed change in myself and I think it's working so far. I've detected change but I just don't know whether its enough. This choice of mine doesn't come easy for sometimes I do feel left out when I hear of them hanging out but it's my choice so I gotta bear with it. Thank god some have blogs. In a way I get to catch up with them and for them to catch up with me too. This holiday will be part of my thinking time so I'm hoping that Sem 2 will be a new start for me. I just hope...


You know what's frustrating? Typing out a whole blog and as soon as you were about to publish it the screen goes to "server error! Please refresh". Yeap... all that blog gone just like that! God I feel like strangling the monitor!

Friday, October 29, 2004

Do you ever wonder about the people out there in cyberspace?

Do you ever wonder about the people out there in cyberspace? Are they like us in every way or are they different in more ways than you could imagine. Well I for one don't usually think bout those kind of things. I usually assume that most people would be like me (exception to all the perverted sex maniacs out there-they're not even in my category!) What I mean by this is that I dont usually think about all the special (disabled) people out there who uses the net too.

I was fortunate to meet one of those people one day but what suprises me even more is that he was so cool about his disability that I actually didn't believe him at all at first. I even made a joke about what he said which I regret terribly later on but he was really cool and even went alon with the joke. I always thought that special people would be rather sensitive about their disability but I guess I was wrong. No wonder they're called special.

Adam is an 18 year old guy who looks like any normal guy and he goes to ITM Shah Alam. What's different about him is that he's deaf. Imagine living in a world where everything is silent. It's quite daunting and very lonely. Although I don't have experience but I think I have a vague idea on what Adam's world would be like. I got an ear infection about a week back and I had to put ear drops every night for 5 nights in a row. As a result I became deaf in one ear. It was horrible! I couldn't hear anything on my left and everyone had to speak louder just so I could hear what they're trying to say. I also got overly sensitive about my lack of hearing that Matt and I actually got into a fight when he teased me about being deaf. Suffice to say I couldn't survive the 5 days and went back for treatment on the third day. That experience has taught me a big lesson and out of all the 5 senses I dont think I ever want to lose my hearing. When you can't hear it's like being shut off from the rest of the world. But I hope I never have to make a choice between my 5 senses. I cherish them all.

Adam is lucky that he has supportive family who were willing to learn sign language to communicate with him. The family were even featured in 'Wanita' because they were so supportive towards Adam. What I really respect about this guy is that he wants to be a teacher because he wants to help others who are like him. I guess when you lack something that everybody else has you appreciate whatever else you have even more. All I can say now is "You go Adam!"

What the heck is this?!! Posted by Hello

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

Homemaker extraordinaire!

I feel like a total homemaker today. I made like several batches of choc chip cookies for raya as well as for my daily consumption(They're so YUMMY!) and also made my famous macaroni soupfor berbuka. Tehee! I'm so proud of myself. What's so good about raya is that this is the time when we get to eat all the good stuff that we reserve for special occasions. It's like a reward for holding out the whole day. Last night Yuni made her famous roast steak complete with mash potatoes and gravy. Too bad my brother aint here. If he knew how good the food we're having every day he'll probably kill himself :P

I dunno why suddenly my blogskin is having prob so I've decided to change the pic. I hope the original designer doesn't throw a fit or something. Her skin is way cool and I hate to lose the pic but something is up so a blogger gotta do what a blogger gotta do. So I hope people like the new look.

Neways boredom has already started to settle in and I'm desperate for something fun to do. There's nothing much you can do actually that doesn't involve foodstuff. Even going to the movies won't be the same when you can't have popcorn to enjoy the movie with.*sigh* Just goes to show how much your life evolves around food and eating. Even updating blogs won't be as much fun if you don't have much to write about.

Someone... please help me figure out what to do this hols?!!

What type of love I am.

Me and Him

You are dependent love. You want protection. You
want someone to be able to depend on. You do
not wish to lead.

What kind of love are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

It's been awhile...

Woah it's been awhile since I last blogged. I wonder how Sheena and Alia still find the time to actually go online and blog what with all the exams and puasa time. Yeap... it's finally Ramadhan and thank GOD exams are finally over. Exams were quite a drag and I dont think I managed to score for even one paper. Comp app was definitely a flop. I'll be lucky even if I even managed to get a B. All others... yuck! Anyways... I don't wanna think about it but I pray to god to be merciful on me and maybe I can manage to scrape by and mantain my pointers (Please God... PLEASE!)

Bad news for me... my beloved phone has finally gone dead. After 3 years of serving me faithfully it finally gave up. So now I'm on a mission to get myself a new phone. I already have a budget so I just wanna see what phone is cool out there. Since I already have a digicam I don't think it's necessary to get me a cameraphone but I definitely want it to be colour screen. So far what catches my eyes are Samsung and Sony Ericson. Can't wait to go phone shopping!

Ramadahan is here and Puasa is definitely the best month of the year. I just feel like everyone is more patient(Duh!) and tolerant. Now why cant most everyone be like this during other times then for sure the world will be a much better place. This advice goes to me too coz the other day I got into a cat fight with an indon worker at Alpha Angle. We had a difference of opinion on a certain matter and I admit I was wrong but somehow ego and lack of patience just didnt let me admit I was wrong and so the catfight continues. My advantage then was that I was a girl and he was a guy so if he did anything he'd be the one to blame. Hehe! Thank God Matt was there. If not the guy would probably punch me. Anyways, the moral here is that patience would probably make me think first before I say anything that would land me into bigger trouble.

Oh yeah... don't mind the pic I was just testing out Hello the new picture sharing thing. It's pretty okay coz at least I dont hafta log in before the 3rd of every month if not my account will be terminated unlike miamihost. So that's a picture of Matt and I at Midsummer night's staging. I miss him terribly. But it's cool to have the hols coz at least this would give me time to really sort out my feelings for him. Let's just hope the saying 'Out of sight, out of mind' doesnt apply in both our cases here.

On a more funny note, a cupboard attacked me 2 nights ago and I managed to escape with a big scratch on my right eyelid, a red eye and scratches on the bridge of my nose. Seriously I look like a pirate. The funny thing was when it happened it hurt like hell but I just couldn't stop laughing. I thought it was hilarious that I actually managed to bang my head on a cupboard. Granted that it was pitch black but I should have been more careful. So now I have to live looking like a pirate for a while. Arr... shiver me timbers! Off to buka puasa then me matey... har... har... har...

P.S. There's this creepy Egyptian guy who's been stalking me and I'm seriously thinking of getting myself a bodyguard. He just doesn't get it when a girl is not interested. He's actually flown all the way from Egypt to meet up with me. At times like these I thank god that my phone is out of order so he can't call me up. Now that's another mystery itself how the heck did he get my phone number? I know I didn't give it to him. Hmm...

A Beautiful Prayer

Dear Brothers and Sisters in Islam

I asked Allah to take away my habit.
Allah said, No. It is not for me to take away, but for you to
give it up.

I asked Allah to make my handicapped child whole.
Allah said, No. His spirit is whole, his body is only temporary

I asked Allah to grant me patience.
Allah said, No. Patience is a byproduct of tribulations; it isn't granted, it is learned.

I asked Allah to give me happiness.
Allah said, No. I give you blessings; Happiness is up to you.

I asked Allah to spare me pain.
Allah said, No. Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me.
I asked Allah to make my spirit grow.
Allah said, No. You must grow on your own! , but I will prune you to make you fruitful.

I asked Allah for all things that I might enjoy life.
Allah said, No. I will give you life, so that you may enjoy allthings.

I ask Allah to help me LOVE others, as much as Heloves me.
Allah said...Ahhhh, finally you have the idea.


May Allah Bless You, To the world you might be one person, but to one
person you just might be the world"

For all the negative things we have to say to ourselves
Allah has a positive answer for it.

You say: "It's impossible"
Allah says: All things are possible

You say: "I'm too tired"
Allah says: I will give you rest

You say: "I can't go on"
Allah says: My grace is sufficient

You say: "I can't figure things out"
Allah says: I will direct your steps

You say: "I can't do it"
Allah says: You can do all things

You say: "I'm not able"
Allah says: I am able

You say: "It's not worth it"
Allah says: It will be worth it

You say: "I can't forgive myself"
Allah says: I FORGIVE YOU

You say: "I can't manage"
Allah says: I will supply all your needs

You say: "I'm afraid"
Allah says: I have not given you a spirit of fear

You say: "I'm always worried and frustrated"
Allah says: Cast all your cares on ME

You say: "I don't have enough faith"
Allah says: I've given everyone a measure offaith

You say: "I'm not smart enough"
Allah says: I give you wisdom

You say: "I feel all alone"
Allah says: I will never leave you or forsake you

You say: "Nobody really loves me"
Allah says: I love you

May Allah Be Pleased With all muslims Ameen.

I love each and every muslim for the Pleasure of Allah !

"It is in rememberance of Allah that the heart finds peace"

Friday, September 24, 2004

Bored... no money... lazy... what else can I say?

Its the weekend and I'm stuck here in UIA. Matt is now happily stuffing himself in Kedah with his family while I'm here with nothing to do. No money and tonnes of work to think about. Why?! Why?! Seriously I have never gotten the case of malasness this bad before. But I gotta. I hafta! So here I am in ITD lab writing my woes away...

Just had the worst presentation ever today in Feature Writing. I seriously don't know what the lecturer was thinking when he told us to present the feature that we wrote. How exactly do you present a profile of someone? Because all you have is the profile that you wrote. I guess you can make it interesting by putting pictures and a summary of that person's life on powerpoint but UIA (the filthy rich university) just cant afford to provide projectors in the classroom so we had to make do with what ever we had. So there we were the 5 of us standing stupidly in front of the class while we wait for our turn to read out a section of the profile to the class. I bet that most of the students were already half asleep while we were reading the profile. I would too if I had to listen to people read to me some big shot's achievements. Not too mention that big shot was a 60 year old pervert so reading to other people about how cool and succesful just made me fell like barfing. (Refer back to article 'Interviw with a pervert' for more details.) A member of the class actually had the nerve to question his decision for us to present the paper but again he had a valid reason to that. He said that he wanted everyone to talk in class at least once so that he could see how good our English are. I guess that is sorta good idea coz some may write but it doesn't mean that their English is good.

Quality Quest newsletter is 95% done and just need the go-ahead from Dr. Nora before its sent off to the printers. I just hope that she's happy with the results. I can't wait to see all my hardwork finally go to print and actually get acknowledged for it. Working with IIUM Holdings was a bummer since all your hardwork was acredited to someone else and you only get paid a crummy RM50 per month. All I can say to that is that the experience was kinda cool.

I have finally watched PGL and I must say that I'm very proud of my fellow Malaysians. It was definitely a good movie and All they need to do to turn that movie from good to great was just tie up some loose ends. Editing should be slightly smoother and Makeup could be a little better but other than that it was really cool. Costumes were the bomb ad the cast was fantastic. hey really did a good job. I was kinda suprised to see that the cinema was half full even though it was a morning show on a Wednesday. I thought that people wouldn't bother to come in the mornings but that just goes to show the movie is still raking up income. The Malaysian movie industry has finally raised up several notches in quality.

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

A sigh of relief...

It's been over a week after the dreaded doctor's appointment and finally the truth has finally sunk in. I am out of danger. I had this really surreal feeling after the doctor's appointment and somehow I felt like the whole thing wasn't actually happening. I guess my fears kinda erected a barrier or a wall to protect myself. First it was a wall of denial now it's a wall of disbelief. I was too scared to think that this thing in me wasn't gonna cause me anymore pain.

All is well now and I could breathe easily again. Although it's not confirmed but the doctors are 80% sure that I only have a benign tumor. A cyst. I'm given a choice of wether to just leave it in coz it wont lead to any health problems or have and operation to take it out. So what do you think I'd pick? No hesitations there... I'm definitely taking it out. I definitely do not want to live my life knowing there's this abnormal thing in my chest. But with that decision I know I have to go through this one final test to determine wether this thing is really benign or not. THE test that would cause me the most pain. Aargh! I definitely do not want to go through that again!

Proposed operation date is after my finals but its during puasa so I'm not sure wether I want to do it then. But then... I do want to get this thing out as soon as possible. Anyways... I'm just glad that this nightmare is nearly over.

Sunday, September 12, 2004

History repeats itself.

I never knew that this phrase would actually apply personally to me but now it has. Some could literally take the phrase as to mean something bad but it could be something good either. It's ironic that I'd be writing this on the day that America was bombed although it doesn't mean that I am hoping that history would repeat itself with America being bombed again but a new bomb has literally been dropped into my life recently. Most would probably be confused about what I'm talking about so this is a brief history of my what happened before in my life...

At 14 teenagers dont usually concern themselves with life threatening stuff like cancer or AIDS coz at that age you feel as though you were gonna live forever. You're invincible. I dont know what promped me but one day I decided to check myself for anything that was out of the ordinary. Luckily I did because I found a lump in my left breast which was already the size of a ping pong ball. Then I did the only thing a 14 year old who found a lump in her chest could do. I freaked. To cut things short I had it checked, found it was benign (non-cancerous) and had it removed. That was 8 years ago. Cancer was never even considered for someone my age. Now I'm 22 and the lump has reappeared. This time in my right breast.

I dont know what to feel and how to react this time. It wasn't something that I wanted again for the tests that I had to go through was not the most pleasurable experience anyone male or female would ever want to got through. The embarassment and the pain is something that I could do without. I did some research and found some things that did not ease my mind at all. Cancer risk is higher now that I'm in my 20s and breast cancer is more agressive in patients in their 20s. Only early detection will save their lives. Did i detect the lump early enough? By the feel of it it's already the size of my thumb. Is it cancer or will it be benign again? God I'm scared.

My doctors appointment is for this afternoon and I hope to God that everything goes well. My fears and worries is something that I could handle but I dont think I could handle looking at my mom all worried and fearful. One thing I wish I could really do without is to see that fear and worry in my mom's eyes. She has already seen and been through enough with my father. I hope she doesn't go through the same thing with me.

Anyways... wish me luck and I just pray that everything is for the best.

Saturday, September 11, 2004

Easier said than done... (part II)

As I said before its always easier dishing orders and advice but its never easy to actually follow them through and once again I have proved how right that is when I embarassed myself in front of Matt. It was definitely embarassing because I was the one who told him I dont wanna do certain things because it was against my principles and bla... bla... bla when in the end he was the one stopping me from doing something that I might regret later. He's so sweet. (uh-oh getting to my mushy mode again) Anyways I am seriously indebted to him for doing that but somehow disappointment is there. It would've been nice to play the bad girl once in a while.

Just goes to show how much I think I know myself but in the end I proved myself wrong. Well life is a neverending process of learning and I've learned a little more about myself that night that I probably wouldn't have learned otherwise. It's also interesting to see what others would teach you in different situations and circumstances and in the end what comes out of it.

My experience with Matt has somehow strengthened what I already feel towards him. (N0... I'm not in my mushy mode again!) Made me feel safer when I'm with him and made me respect him a whole lot more. Even without the help of my guardians who did a splendid job of confusing me even further he has proved himself to be the perfect gentleman. For me that experience have made us closer in a way that only experience and time could have done and for that I'm glad.

Hi... I'm yadayada! Vote for ME!

Campus elections are back again and I'm sure that it's back with a vengeance. As usual we'd see the usual parties competing for control of the campus and as usual the same party would win. This time two of my close pals are candidates. I don't know who they really represent but as far as I can see both of them are running out for reasons other than political power in mind so I'm cool with it. One is going for the heck of it, you know... for experience and winning is considered a bonus but the other I think is quite serious. Then again this guy is always pretty serious. Still I dont doubt his credentials. Well I only hope the best for the both of them. I'm not actually into politics especially campus politics so basically I couldn't care less but since my best friend is running so I guess I have to at least help out in her campaign. All I ask from both of them is that not to get caught up with the politics of it all coz in the end its the students, the people that must be taken into consideration. All I can see right now is that these people are running so that the other party wont win. They don't want the opposing party to be in control. If that's the top and foremost agenda then where does the students' welfare come in? Does that come second?

Campus politics are used by politically inclined people to test out their skills and hopefully groom themselves in the future for outside politics. It's a good platform and I think its the best way for them to try out politics but what I hate about it is that why must the obsession of real politics, the angst, the petty bickering must also be brought in? It's a big turnoff for majority of the students who in the ends up choosing their leaders based on looks. (I should know coz I've done it before:P)

All I can say to these people who actually ran is that have you made a difference ever since you got into office? And if you think that you have do you think that it's enough? I must say that the chosen candidate for HS constituency last year certainly didn't do much. Nobody actually knew who she was. So HS stays the same year in year out. A pity for the most happening spot on campus.

Monday would be the day that would start it all... the campaigning, the 'pancing undi', the poster war. It'll also be the day for me to nominate my best friend for the HS constituency post. It'll be the day where we'll see who are our real friends who would stick by you despite diferrent opinions and it'll be the day where you finally see your real enemies. Those who might just stab you in the back. I've seen them before when Sheena was running but I hope to god that I dont have to see those kind of people again this year. I hope that Adeq will go through all this without a hitch. She's already stressed enough as it is.

So to finish off all I have to say is... Vote for Adeq (HS conctituency) and SaO (General Malaysian Male). Hehe!

Monday, August 30, 2004

MERDEKA for a hypocrite!

It's the eve of Merdeka and I bet that half the young Malaysians population has probably made plans for the night. And if they havent there's plenty of activity going around town tonight, the biggest would be the Merdeka countdown concert in KLCC and of course THE Merdeka event which is the countdown in Dataran Merdeka. As for me... I only wish that I could go and watch the happenings but minus the crowds. I HATE crowds. I hate being pushed about by other people(coz I'm a midget u see at being only 5 feet tall) and I hate the heat not to mention the smell. Phew! How can those people stand it is still a miracle to me. It's because of this that I usually avoid crowded places and events. If I had to go I'd rather stay on the sidelines, thank you! But by not going to the Merdeka parade I wont be able to see the fireworks display. The inner child in me screams with frustration! It sucks that fireworks has been banned coz nowadays Raya and other festive occasions just dont feel right. I guess I was lucky coz I managed to experience the days when fireworks was still legal. Now we just have to smuggle :P

Back to the Merdeka thing, I seriously dont know how many of us truly understand the real meaning of Merdeka. I dont think I do either. All I know is that this was the day in 1957 that Malaysia was liberated from the British Empire. I think I speak on behalf of most teens that this is basically all that we know. For me Merdeka doesn't mean much except for what the media feeds us. Nowadays Merdeka is a holiday where we're supposed to promote racial harmony, watch great ads made especially for Merdeka and of course shout MERDEKA at the top of our voices as soon as the clock hits 12 on 31st August. Seriously that doesn't sound much like Merdeka at all. Why do what the media tells us. Why can't we celebrate uniquely in our own way?

So what is MERDEKA? Are we truly MERDEKA? One thing for sure I know I'm not. For me Merdeka is being free from the constraints and bonds that holds you back and I think everybody is still bound by their own private noose. As I said to Sheena last night I think I was born in the wrong country. My ways of thinking, my actions, my ideas are not of this country. They're too radical, too forward and definitely not Asian. For me my constraint is the ideal of having to be the perfect malay girl. I dont know what happened but I grew up far from being the perfect malay girl. I'm a loudmouth, opinionated, go-getter and definitely do not like restraints that the Malay society holds on girls. Call me feminists but the phrase 'Girls should be seen and not heard' doesn't hold a thing on me. But then being the hypocrite that I am, I act this image out to a tee whenever I'm in front of my mom and my family. ALthough I still have my core personality when I'm with then but I feel suppressed and wished that I could just break free. Why can't I liberate myself? I want to be Merdeka too!

I dream that someday I could go somewhere and truly be myself. I'd go somewhere where nobody knows who I am and there no one would criticize or comment. There I would never be a hypocrite. BUt as for now... I shall continually be honing my acting skills by being one personality when I'm in campus and another when I'm at home. *sigh*

A HUGE wake up call!

I've always known that my involvement in theater is pretty recent coz there's people out there who's been at it for like ages and ages. But somehow I've always thought that I have this natural knack when it comes to theater, that somehow I'm kinda good at it. I guess this was notion was backed up when people said that they liked my work and somehow professional juries deemed my work as having potential. But don't get me wrong! It's not like I've suddenly thought of myself as the nxt William Shakespeare or something it's just that well... I thought that I only needed to polish up on somethings, gain some more experience and voila... I'll be the next Faridah Merican. Boy was I wrong... like dead wrong!

Saturday night was an experience as well as eye opener for me. With Adeq's connections we managed to get complimentary tickets to watch a play called 'Misi' which was written by Faisal Tehrani(yes, the guy who dissed UIA) and was acted out by the winner of 2003 Malaysian Theater Festival-ABAD. The play was FANTASTIC. Seriously I've never watched anything that good. THe actors didn'nt even look like they were acting and the emotions that were potrayed was amazing. They make acting look so effortless. There's definitely no question how they won in the Festival last year.

Watching that kind of play was definitely something that I want to experience again and again. It's the sort of play that makes you see the beauty of art and literature and if I did pay for the ticket I wouldn't even mind if it was f*****g expensive. But what the play made me realise is that I still have a long way to go to even think about performing in Istana Budaya which is my dream! I was kinda proud when our team won the 'Kumpulan Harapan Award' During the Selangor Theater Festival but that is like nothing. We're still amatuers in every way. But it's cool... It's good to have something to work for. Now I know that after graduation I'll definitely not give up theater. I'm gonna keep at it until at least I'll be a crew at a production that is staged in Istana Budaya. Gambate!!

Saturday, August 28, 2004

Easier said than done!

People are always dishing out advice and telling other people what they should and should not do. These people makes it sound so easy but do they actually know do the things that they preach? I seriously doubt it coz as the old cliched phrase goes... 'It's definitely easier said than done'.

I'm having this huge internal conflict and somehow I think I'm on the losing end towards succumbing to my inner desires. Ooh... sounds really scandalous doesn't it? Nah... far from that but lets just say that I dont trust myself enough to not do something that I've promised myself not to do. It's easy to stop yourself from doing something when temptation doesn't weaken your resolve but what if its right in front of you just begging to be taken. Now that's where the true test of endurance really lies. Seriously I just realised that my endurance is not that strong. God, please help me!

Anyways, I've taken some steps to make sure that I don't succumb to temptation and they come in the form of my 3 close friends. I'm gonna take advantage of the true meaning of that age old cliche and let my friends do the stopping for me. Hehe! Besides it's good to know that my friends care enough about me to protect me from myself :P

Other than ensuring that I dont fall into a trap of my own doing, life's been pretty sedate lately. Everyday is pretty much a routine of classes, more classes, exams, work and meeting up with Matt. Can you believe that Matt and I can actually lepak together from 5pm right up to midnight? And to think that I used to kutuk all these couples that seemed to have nothing better to do but stick by each other at all times. Now I have this voice inside my head which sound annoyingly like Fynn saying 'Tu la Shan... lain kali jangan nak kutuk orang. Kan dah terkena? Padan muka!' Why the voice of Fynn is still a mystery to me. And what about all the mushy stuff that we say to each other? Yikes... did I say all that? I didn't know I was even capable. Love can seriously alter a person! But heck... I'm not complaining. But I have definitely forgotten how time consuming and expensive being in a relationship can be sometimes. I just realised it from my fast dwindling bank account and the amounts of sarcasm that I've been hearing from my friends lately. Yeah... yeah okay so I admit I havent been up to date about their development lately but give me a break girls... I've only started dating! :)

Luckily I have a small solution about my financial problem. I've got a decent paying part time job at the Quality Assurance unit under the supervision of Dr. Nora. Now I'm a research assistant! Thanks God I got this job. I dont have to worry about transportation to and from UIA and curfews and such. So this is definitely a cushy job for me. So now it's bye-bye IIUM Holdings and Hello Quality Assurance Unit. Sorry holdings! The pay is too much for me to resist.

Now I hafta get back to my cushy but somehow boring job. I got to look for more articles about self responsibility at the workplace. It's all about raising quality standards in your work but right now I'm slacking off office time to blog. Hehe! I'm EVIL!


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