Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Screaming Banshee

I've heard of people being obsessed with religion before and I've seen the footage on TV what people would do when the obsession overcomes then but I never imagined that one day that I'd actually see the wrath of these religiously obsessed people right in front of my eyes and actually spar with them. (Though I don't actually call it sparring since they were shouting at the top of their lungs while I was meekly pointing out that they were wrong.) Anyways, I'm just lucky that I wasn't the target of their anger so I didn't get much heat from them. I probably should start at the very beginning so that you'd know what I'm talking about.

Last night after a fight with her better half, a friend of mine wanted to cool off and asked us out for a drink at NZ. While we were there the same friend saw her old dance instructor and of course him being the polite guy that he was came over to the table and said hi to everybody. I think that was sweet because they were already halfway across the restaurant (which is really huge). So with a reunion there's usually the normal pleasantries and such and at the end of the whole thing was the goodbye hug. A hug between a student to her old teacher and an old friend. Basically a 3-second kinda thing. Though I must admit it wasn't really 'manis' for her to do that to a guy in public but it wasn't anything to go berserk about either.

So the guy left and we're waiting for food when suddenly this woman in her 30's came over and nicely said... (in a nica tone)

"Assalamualaikum, saya minta maaf sebab saya terpaksa cakap nie tapi saya rasa ini tanggung jawab saya sebagai orang Islam...."

And this is when the whole screaming banshee ordeal started. She started going on and on and on about being embarassed seeing my friend hugging the guy and being embarrassed that a Malay was acting like that. All the while her voice rose higher and higher until the whole goddamn restaurant now knew what just happened. The woman was livid. She was waving her arms everywhere and pointing her finger to my friend's face which is something that I cannot accept. Hello... you're talking about Malay being proper but what the heck are you doing pointing like that right in her face. Not only that her arm waving nearly took off my tudung so you can tell how frantically she was waving her arms and ranting. Her face was purple with all the shouting that she was doing.

The 5 of us were shocked and I didn't know what came over me I just decided to say something. Luckily not out of anger or just trying to be rude but because she was embarassing herself. So I said...

"Akak... akak... sabar sikit akak. Sabar..."

After that she started to tone down a bit though she still hasn't stopped. Then I saw her husband with their baby (they were eating a table away from us which is how they saw the whole hugging scene) coming at us. My first thought was "THANK GOD! He's finally gonna calm this madwoman down." But no... he just came to finish what the lady started. He yelled at me asking how can I not be angry at that kind of behaviour and then he turned back towards my friend at started yelling at her. This time he was more vulgar bringing in all here ancestry into the picture which is again another big No-No for me. So I interject by saying (nicely)...

"Abang... jangan la jerit-jerit. Cakaplah elok-elok, bukannya dia tak nak dengar. Tapi kalau abang cakap macam nie siapa nak dengar lagi dia tak nak dengar."

He of course ignored me and started yelling at my friend again. My friend then recovered from shock and nicely and calmly thanked them for 'tegur'-ing her (which to me is very brave coz I would've just ignored them if I were her). My friend said she was sorry to both of them and again thanked them. But you know what the guy said...

"Apa mintak maaf kat aku? Ko kan ada tuhan ko, pergi mintak maaf kat tuhan ko tu. Budak-budak kurang ajar!"

And with that he returned to his table again. Seriously, with that remark he totally squashed whatever respect that any of us had for him. I mean what was this 'tuhan aku, tuhan ko' all about? Aren't we Muslims? Don't we worship the same god?

Sally raised a really good point then. Imagine what non-Muslim would think when they see Muslims treating other Muslims this way. No wonder Islam is so misunderstood and is considered as a terrible religion. The Terrorist religion. If that couple are so into Islam then they should know that Islam never teaches its followers to do da'wah like that.

All of us were traumatised but we knew that we didn't deserve to be treated that way. And I think most of the people there agreed with us since some of them actually came up to us and gave us their support. Two of my friends cried because of that treatment. As for me... well, I'm just glad that finally I had the courage to actually stand up for what's right. God I can't believe that there still people like those two left in this world.

Please god... give them the true light of Iman. Amin

Friday, March 18, 2005

Exam week.

Exam week has started so I expect A lot of the gang's blogs are rather outdated at the mo'. I'm just glad that I'm taking 12 credit hours this sem. Less exams! WOOHOO!

And now I'm celebrating coz my Desktop assignment is OVER! YEAH!

Oh yeah... Don't watch the movie 'Cursed'. It sucks. Totally not Wes Craven's usual standard. Watch 'Be Cool'. It's so... Cool!

I know you guys may be wondering whether I'm studying. I am, I am. Just need some break once in a while. Sides I still need to go to the office to finish up on Quality Quest's Special Edition newsletter. YAWN!

Gotta go. Need to reacquainte myself with old friends.

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Please Yourself

You can never please people, No matter how hard you try. It's always been a bad idea to please everybody so you're better off putting yourself first no matter what happens.No, you're not being selfish or greedy or opportunistic but merely trying to survive in this dog-eat-dog world. Coz in the end you can never totally win.Why am I being pessimistic? Why the negativity? Well... its neither of those things really. Just relaying the cold hard truth. Nothing but the facts.

Just when you think that everything is going along fine you'd get run over by incidents that you weren't aware of before. Things that you're supposed to know but due to cultural and psychological barriers it was kept from you. So in the end you're suffering. BIG TIME! The irony of it all is that the barriers were meant to protect you. Not hurt you. Just so you know, it hurt me. It hurt me A LOT!

BUt then, out of respect you try to please them thinking that it'll all be better in the end. But no... it just adds up to everything. Now the problem comes from YOU. You're the one changing things. You're the one that's making people talk and comment. You're the one that's wrong. Now when did that come about? Just because things aren't the same any more and people tend to comment about it so the cause of the problem is you? Someone enlighten me please!

'Every man is an island'. A statement that rings true. In the old days people stick together to survive the forces of nature. But now sticking together could mean the end of you. No wonder there's more hermits in the world than ever before. Being in solitude definitely has its perks. No commitments. Just you and the world. I no longer believe in the best friend system. There are only good friends and possibly close friends. Best friends to me are just myths that people make up to feel a sense of solidarity outside the circle of family and loved ones. The days of best friends have perished with the death of the last 'Sahabah'. They were best friends in the truest sense of the word. Show me a friend like one of the sahabah and I shall eat back all my words and that's a promise.

Though my resolve is made but there's this niggling doubt in my heart asking could it just be me? My way of thinking? Maybe I'm on a level that is not parallel to others. My ideals being different. Someone once mentioned that I'm like an old soul with a youth's mind and body.COuld that be the real cause of my heartache? Could that be the reason why I'm so misunderstood or misunderstand others in return?

Or is it because I have now left the 'comfort years' in my life? The years in which I can be carefree and everything is provided for me. Did reality come too soon?

These questions is constantly going on in my head. Answers that I can only obtain if I go directly to the source-the people that made me ponder all these things in the first place. But I know I probably won't be satisfied anyways. This problem is like a vicious ghost that'll just keep haunting you no matter what you do

So in the end I'm back to my first conclusion which is you can never plese anyone but yourself. If you try to please everybody you'll end up destroying yourself. If you wanna survive you just have to do what's best and what's best for you does not necessarily mean it's best for everybody. Those who can't accept this will just have to learn to cope with it.

"Associate yourself with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation. It is better be alone than in bad company."-George Washington

Wednesday, March 09, 2005


I know that I promised to post this up sooner but somehow my KEMALASAN got the better of me. So this is the links to all the photos that I took from BENL activities and Pics of people in BENL. Ur welcome to help urself to them and add to them if you want. There's pics from the ELC gathering, Nusantara Week and some others. Enjoy!


Tuesday, March 08, 2005


It sucks having people let you down. It sucks even more when its something that you've been lookingg forward to for ages and suddenly plans have to be altered. It sucks most when the person that you really depend on is the one that lets you down.

Though you probably cant blame the person. You can never force somebody to do something when they're not in the mood. But can you blame me if I feel this way. Especially when you're led to expect that you can always rely on the somebody. And they'll always be there for you.

How would it feel if that someone says to you 'Aww. I'm just not in the mood. You go enjoy yourself.' How am I suppose to enjoy myself when I've been let down? And the reason that you've been let down is because they're not in the mood.

So don't blame me for feeling this way. It's only expected. I didn't force you to do what I wanted you to do so don't force me to pretend like nothing happened.

Saturday, March 05, 2005

I never thought...

I never thought that someday I'd actually be doing... FILING. Probably the most tedious and cerewet job that you'd ever get. Imagine how much fun (read this with as much sarcasm as you could muster) I'm having sorting different sorts of papers into categories and putting them into files. It'll help a lot if the subjects on the paper weren't so ambigious so I could actually file them correctly. It's like filing a stone in either 'things that can hurt you' or 'hard object'. I salute to all secretaries everywhere who actually do this for a living. (SALUTE)

Quality Day today and I expect all classes after Friday prayers is cancelled. Always good news for us students if any class is cancelled. The idea that the semester is coming to an end is something that I really look forward to but EXAMS? No Way! Why must we have exams? Why? Why? Why? I hate exams.

My first exam is this coming Monday. Arabic speaking. Oh Boy! I wonder what kind of crap is actually gonna spill out of my mouth. I think I'm probably the worst student in the class but the Ustaz is too polite to actually say so. Please God, I really need you help for this. I need the POWER of ARABIC SPEECH! I just hope my roommates wont throttle me first with my arabic practices this weekend. It's either they throttle me to shut me up or die laughing at the bullshit thats spewing out of my mouth :P

Matt is headed back to Kedah at this vey moment. Hurmmpphh! Tapi... bagus juga. At least no distraction for me to practice Arabic. Waaa... this is gonna be a loooooooonnnnnnnggg weekend!!

Friday, March 04, 2005

Hide And Seek

'Hide and Seek' is a crappy movie. Don't watch it especially if you've watched 'Secret Window'. Why Robert De Niro Acted in that movie would always be a mystery to me.

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

The past shall haunt you...

"The past shall return to haunt you." God! How true is that. I've never felt the true power of those words before this and now I'm on the receiving end of it.

I never knew the naivety and stupidity of a girl, fresh out of high school and never had a boyfriend before, would actually come back and taunt me. I call them my 'Blind Days'

I just didnt realise that I was in a snag that would eat me up alive for years afterwards. I was blind for actually falling for a guy like him and stupid for actually ignoring the warnings of my friends. Until that very day my eyes was finally wrenched open and at last I could finally free myself from his cluthes. I could see there and then who the guy really was... a lying, cheating (the girl dumped him though and to this very day this thought just fills me up with glee), and undoubtedly useless guy who probably went out with me just because I was stupid enough to lend him money (which he hasn't paid back yet). But still emotionally I was quite bound. He was my first boyfriend and you can never forget your first love.

Love? Yeah right! It was probably more of a relationship to fit in and be accepted more than anything else really but still... I was bound. I only managed to free myself completely after a rebound relationship which turned into a real one. And for that I have to thank the guy although it didn't work out in the end. Rebounds never do.

*sigh* I thought that this incident was over. I don't have to ever bother myself about that piece of crap anymore (boyfriend number 1). I was wrong. DEAD WRONG! Yeah I've been seeing him round campus lately since he has another girlfriend from UIA now. But we pretty much ignore eac other and go our seperate ways. Yes I loathe him and yes I wish to do him bodily harm but I didnt think that the girl that he's with would appreciate me beating him to a pulp or suddenly marching up to him demanding my money back. So since I left him alone the least he could do was leave me alone. After all this thing had happened years ago.

But no... I think he's determined to screw up my life. I see that there's vicious lies about spreading from his friends or it could be just one person or possibly it could be him. Too chicken to actually start a ruckus himself. Whoever that person is the rumours are vicious.

Then again, I'm not bothered for they are after all vicious lies and they have nothing against me. No proof, no conviction. Just spite and the need to create mayhem in someone else's life. Well... you can say whatever you want but they're nothing more than words that'll just disappear like smoke. So whoever is doing it don't waste your time. They're not gonna hurt me and I know those who have faith in me will ignore it too.

Thanks though to those who have stood up for me. Appreciate the thought. But those brainless numbskulls are just waiting for a reason to attack and I think the best way is to ignore them. They'll soon run out of steam and in the end they'll just look like a bunch of brainless idiots who have no life except trying to ridicule the girls who dumped them. And you wonder why these girls dumped them (please note the heavy sarcasm here!).

But seriously thanks a lot to those who backed me up whoever you are. But let's not stoop to their level. They're just scum that lives off the shit of animals like pigs and the dung beetle. As long as people like you guys are still around then nothing can hurt me.


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