I guess it's back to being single again for me, I mean what's the point of thinking that things might work out coz by the way things are looking... there isn't a hope in hell that the relationship might get better. All I am is hanging on to false hopes. Dreams that may never ever come true. *sigh*
Am I sad? Who isn't? Am I angry? A little bit (though bot as much as I used to be). But What I am feeling most of all is heartbreak and rejected. A real shitty feeling. It's like borderline sad, anger, disappointment and numbness. I hate this feeling. Makes you feel weak and vulnerable- two situations that I do NOT want to be in.
Am also feeling loneliness. After 2 years of having a constant companion, a person you thought was your other half, your soulmate, now you're all alone. I have to make a transition to being on my own, alone, single. Not an easy thing to do. Not after you've been out of the loop for so long. It's like being lost in a jungle. You ventured in far too deep and now you don't know how to get back.
It sucks being the only loner in a group of twosomes. It cant hit you any harder than your best friend wanting to keep you company but having her boyfriend hanging on her arm or a husband chauferring you to where you're headed. Sure I appreciate the effort of them including me in the couple-y activities but hey... nobody loves being the 3rd wheel.
Post-breakup mode sucks big time. And you know that time will heal all but sometimes you wish that time would hurry up. The pain, the loneliness can be unbearable at times. Unbearable up to the point you feel like giving up, which is what I'm close to doing right now.
I just wish that I could find that glimmer of hope to get me on my feet again. But again... only time will tell.