Tuesday, September 21, 2004

A sigh of relief...

It's been over a week after the dreaded doctor's appointment and finally the truth has finally sunk in. I am out of danger. I had this really surreal feeling after the doctor's appointment and somehow I felt like the whole thing wasn't actually happening. I guess my fears kinda erected a barrier or a wall to protect myself. First it was a wall of denial now it's a wall of disbelief. I was too scared to think that this thing in me wasn't gonna cause me anymore pain.

All is well now and I could breathe easily again. Although it's not confirmed but the doctors are 80% sure that I only have a benign tumor. A cyst. I'm given a choice of wether to just leave it in coz it wont lead to any health problems or have and operation to take it out. So what do you think I'd pick? No hesitations there... I'm definitely taking it out. I definitely do not want to live my life knowing there's this abnormal thing in my chest. But with that decision I know I have to go through this one final test to determine wether this thing is really benign or not. THE test that would cause me the most pain. Aargh! I definitely do not want to go through that again!

Proposed operation date is after my finals but its during puasa so I'm not sure wether I want to do it then. But then... I do want to get this thing out as soon as possible. Anyways... I'm just glad that this nightmare is nearly over.

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