Saturday, October 30, 2004

Heyya Guys!

I had a nice suprise when I checked out my blog today to see Tinie, one of my uni juniors, left me a message. What's cool is that she has her own blog but what's even better is that some of the others are bloggers too. I know I sound rather 'jakun' and totally not 'savvy' at all but I am kinda new at this blogging thing so bear wif me:P

Neways I kinda liked some of the skins that they used especially Dianne. I've always had a thing about old antique looking parchments and romantic scripts (blame the jiwang karat in me). But you wanna know something funny, I've always wondered who uses the same skin as I do and I finally found someone who did. I just never thought it would be someone I know. Talk about irony! But... since I've made major changes to the skin I think I can safely say that the skin is one in a million now though credits still go out to dreamwalker for creating a really fantastic skin for me to start with. What I'm really happy about now is that I finally have a page counter! But for now it makes my page looks like a wuss cause the counter only up to number 10 although the page has been up for like months. Oh well... still looking for stuff to add on though especially games.

It's nice to finally find some other bloggers that I know. It's cool to read some stranger's blog but for me that's like reading fiction but you don't really know all the characters involved so it's not much fun. When you read your friend's blogs you relate to what you read. Their blogs are like a small portal to their souls. Sometimes you see more of the writer in their writings than through the person themselves. In some ways, writing gives you the freedom you crave that speech can't but writing also gives you control too so there's not much room for mistakes in writing. At least that's how I feel. I fell more at ease if I let out my feelings through writing rather than speech. It's an outlet for me because I know that no one judges me when I write and it's up to me what I write. I guess that's why literature appeal so much to me. Freedom of expression all through writing even in drama ad theater. It all starts out with someone penning their emotions and their message and then actors come and act out those emotions in the purest form of expression. No barriers hence the beauty of theater.

I know Matt is kinda disappointed sometimes when I pen down my feelings more rather than talk it out with him. But it's hard when you've been emotionally dependant for so long that letting everything out doesn't come natural to you. It's even harder when you're trying to let someone in.

You know, blogs have helped me in more ways than I realised. Life has been like a wheel for me lately with constant ups and downs thus resulting in me drawing away from friends and spending quality solitary time. I hope my friends don't blame Matt for my absence(although he is to blame a little:P). It's just that time is now an essence for a much needed change in myself and I think it's working so far. I've detected change but I just don't know whether its enough. This choice of mine doesn't come easy for sometimes I do feel left out when I hear of them hanging out but it's my choice so I gotta bear with it. Thank god some have blogs. In a way I get to catch up with them and for them to catch up with me too. This holiday will be part of my thinking time so I'm hoping that Sem 2 will be a new start for me. I just hope...

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