Monday, October 22, 2007

Men vs. Women

My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God, and I didn't.

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically,

"Relatives of yours?"

"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws"

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use. A day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men... The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

A man said t o his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time. " The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!
*This is degrading for women but what the heck it's kinda funny*

Top Ten Reasons Women Want Men To Say "I Love You"

Top Ten Reasons Women Want Men To Say "I Love You"

1. They like the words.
2. Girls, at times, think that the "words" are important.
3. They can brag to their friends that they got him to do it.
4. It makes them feel all tingly to hear it.
5. Commitment/Power
6. He ain`t gettin ANY unless he does.
7. It makes up for what a jerk he is the rest of the time.
8. It makes sex better.
9. The woman can say it back without risking rejection.
10. The woman wants to see his dick fall off.

This was emailed to me by a male friends of mine and frankly I'm quite at loss for words. A part of me feels like laughing but the feminist in me is pissed. But after contemplating a bit I managed to appease the feminist in me and decided to laugh.This is probably the funniest piece of crap that I came across for quite some time.

These reasons were probably made up by some guys who felt the "pressure" of uttering the three "magic words" to their girlfriends. Like I said they're crap but there are a few points that kinda hit home. For example reason no 2. In fact some guys seem to think that way too. One of my former boyfriends actually asked me to be his girlfriend by uttering those three words first. Talk about pressure. Alas... I was young, stupid, and unfortunately on the rebound after a horrible breakup decided to accept the poor guy. True enough after a few weeks I began to look for ways to sabotage the relationship. And yeah... we broke up after a couple of months. I guess some people misconstrue the true meaning of those three words. It has totally become overrated. People say it for everything now. "Honey can you pass the butter? Thanks... I love you." I guess that's why reason no 1 was made. This makes the words totally lose its meaning. I still believe in the saying that 'action speaks louder than words'.

However women being women, it does help for guys to actually say it once in a while. But keep it special. I just wish women would sometimes appreciate the words more and not expect the words to be uttered at all times. Saying it a thousand of times does not excuse a guy from being a jerk. If you're a jerk then you're a jerk. I love you's don't erase that fact. So reason no 7 goes in the can.

Saying the words also does not guarantee a reward. Okay... maybe unless the girl was young, stupid, drunk or under emotional imbalance like I was. Women nowadays don't fall for the "I Love you's" pre, during or post-sex anymore. I would like to believe that we have become smarter than that. So reason no 6 can be thrown into the bin.

Although I must agree with reason no 8. Those three words when uttered with sincerity does make sex better. And yes reason no 4 is correct. Sad but true. I guess that's why men always say it before sex coz dumb girls, who never having heard their guy say it ever before, would actually fall for it and actually put out. Tsk... tsk... tsk... But like I said, I believe women has grown smarter to fall for that anymore. But it goes to show how strong the power of faith is. I mean the girls who truly believed that the guys who only said "I love you" right before sex truly loved them would actually enjoy the experience. Sure she might get an orgasm in a random sexual act but enjoyment is another thing altogether.That tingly feeling that they get after hearing the words "I Love You" actually helps a whole lot.

Reason no 3 is bullshit. Women don't brag to their friends about guys saying the words. Women have more class than that. Though women do love to show-off. Women just loves it if their men say the words to them in public especially in front of their friends. No... it's not bragging but a mere act of display on the power of one women's sexuality over a guy. And thus proves reason no 5 that women gets a rush of power from getting a guy to commit. What women wouldn't? Competition in the modern world is crazy. Decent men are scarce. So if a women bags one they'd do everything in their power to make the guy commit.

As for reason no 10... well, I hope that its not meant literally coz that'll be a horrible sight and I doubt the women would want to be in that relationship for long after an integral member of the male anatomy is gone. But if speaking figuratively... well it can probably be linked to reason no 5 though in a whole radical feminist kinda way. I, however, personally believe that this reason was made up by a man who has a mortal fear of commitment and feels that if he does utter those "words" his dick would fall off. Well... whoever made that reason up is plain wrong. Seriously, we women appreciate that part of the male anatomy and we would like to see it stay where God intended it to be.

Whatever the real reasons for women to want men to say "I Love You" is debatable. No two women can agree on the exact same things so it's better to just keep it as it is. Whoever came up with this list though deserves a pat on the back for making me laugh.


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