Monday, October 22, 2007
Men vs. Women
WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically,
"Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws"
W O R D S
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use. A day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men... The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
CREATION
A man said t o his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time. " The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!
*This is degrading for women but what the heck it's kinda funny*
Top Ten Reasons Women Want Men To Say "I Love You"
1. They like the words.
2. Girls, at times, think that the "words" are important.
3. They can brag to their friends that they got him to do it.
4. It makes them feel all tingly to hear it.
5. Commitment/Power
6. He ain`t gettin ANY unless he does.
7. It makes up for what a jerk he is the rest of the time.
8. It makes sex better.
9. The woman can say it back without risking rejection.
10. The woman wants to see his dick fall off.
This was emailed to me by a male friends of mine and frankly I'm quite at loss for words. A part of me feels like laughing but the feminist in me is pissed. But after contemplating a bit I managed to appease the feminist in me and decided to laugh.This is probably the funniest piece of crap that I came across for quite some time.
These reasons were probably made up by some guys who felt the "pressure" of uttering the three "magic words" to their girlfriends. Like I said they're crap but there are a few points that kinda hit home. For example reason no 2. In fact some guys seem to think that way too. One of my former boyfriends actually asked me to be his girlfriend by uttering those three words first. Talk about pressure. Alas... I was young, stupid, and unfortunately on the rebound after a horrible breakup decided to accept the poor guy. True enough after a few weeks I began to look for ways to sabotage the relationship. And yeah... we broke up after a couple of months. I guess some people misconstrue the true meaning of those three words. It has totally become overrated. People say it for everything now. "Honey can you pass the butter? Thanks... I love you." I guess that's why reason no 1 was made. This makes the words totally lose its meaning. I still believe in the saying that 'action speaks louder than words'.
However women being women, it does help for guys to actually say it once in a while. But keep it special. I just wish women would sometimes appreciate the words more and not expect the words to be uttered at all times. Saying it a thousand of times does not excuse a guy from being a jerk. If you're a jerk then you're a jerk. I love you's don't erase that fact. So reason no 7 goes in the can.
Saying the words also does not guarantee a reward. Okay... maybe unless the girl was young, stupid, drunk or under emotional imbalance like I was. Women nowadays don't fall for the "I Love you's" pre, during or post-sex anymore. I would like to believe that we have become smarter than that. So reason no 6 can be thrown into the bin.
Although I must agree with reason no 8. Those three words when uttered with sincerity does make sex better. And yes reason no 4 is correct. Sad but true. I guess that's why men always say it before sex coz dumb girls, who never having heard their guy say it ever before, would actually fall for it and actually put out. Tsk... tsk... tsk... But like I said, I believe women has grown smarter to fall for that anymore. But it goes to show how strong the power of faith is. I mean the girls who truly believed that the guys who only said "I love you" right before sex truly loved them would actually enjoy the experience. Sure she might get an orgasm in a random sexual act but enjoyment is another thing altogether.That tingly feeling that they get after hearing the words "I Love You" actually helps a whole lot.
Reason no 3 is bullshit. Women don't brag to their friends about guys saying the words. Women have more class than that. Though women do love to show-off. Women just loves it if their men say the words to them in public especially in front of their friends. No... it's not bragging but a mere act of display on the power of one women's sexuality over a guy. And thus proves reason no 5 that women gets a rush of power from getting a guy to commit. What women wouldn't? Competition in the modern world is crazy. Decent men are scarce. So if a women bags one they'd do everything in their power to make the guy commit.
As for reason no 10... well, I hope that its not meant literally coz that'll be a horrible sight and I doubt the women would want to be in that relationship for long after an integral member of the male anatomy is gone. But if speaking figuratively... well it can probably be linked to reason no 5 though in a whole radical feminist kinda way. I, however, personally believe that this reason was made up by a man who has a mortal fear of commitment and feels that if he does utter those "words" his dick would fall off. Well... whoever made that reason up is plain wrong. Seriously, we women appreciate that part of the male anatomy and we would like to see it stay where God intended it to be.
Whatever the real reasons for women to want men to say "I Love You" is debatable. No two women can agree on the exact same things so it's better to just keep it as it is. Whoever came up with this list though deserves a pat on the back for making me laugh.
Monday, September 10, 2007
Miss "Dumb" Teen USA South Carolina 2007
The latest portrayal of beauty queen's stupidity. And OMG she totally sets all blondes back by a millenium. You really can't blame people for saying that blondes are dumb coz this girl actually reaffirms it.
And to think that she got 4th place in the pageant. Just goes to show how much Americans values intelligence. And who can blame American kids for not knowing where their own country is on the map... they follow the lead of their president, who is supposedly the most powerful man in the world but have never even heard of the Czech Republic.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
'Putra' the Musical
Tickets are only RM10.
Main Actors:
Monday, August 06, 2007
Cradle SNatcher
Just because I used to date a younger guy does not mean I only go for younger men!!
I am no pedophile!! Aarggh!!
A lifetime of teasing and being poked fun of just because of a blip in history. GAWD!! He was only 2 years younger I tell you!! Not 16!
When will the teasing end? When will their "fun" stop?
Seriously... I'm looking for an older man now. I am... I am...
Someone... please get me an older man...
Saturday, August 04, 2007
Colour Mix
I've seen people from two opposite ends of the earth living together in perfect harmony. So yeah I feel that the colour of your skin has nothing to do with your will to be happy.
With this really positive outlook in life, my girl friend, another mixed-match person, I went out for drinks with some guys who were working with us on a project. They were foreigners. We had a blast. They were nice people. Language confusion was a great joke between us and it was damn refreshing to actually go out with a couple of guys who engages in mild flirtation but expects nothing more from us whatsoever. All harmless fun.
Unfortunately we had to bump with the female equivalents of their race. With them was another of the guys that we worked with and is it our fault that the guy chose to come over and hang with us instead of staying and hanging out with them. We can't help ourselves from being cool (;P). So yeah... probably because of that move, and also probably because we were with the other guys before that, we were given the evil eye by the girls. Oh, Come on... what's with the dagger stares? None of them were in a relationship with any of the girls and neither of us were interested to be in one with any of guys. Sheesh...
Apparently, we were considered moving onto their turf. My friend, who had experiences dating foreigners, explains that these people (not all, but most of them) just can't accept the colour difference. To them their men is only for them. Seriously... what the hell? Is this a result of mass insecurity that is unique to a every race? Do these women actually feel threatened by the appearance of girls of different race in their social scene? Are they afraid that their men would start prefering women of another colour? Gawd... So juvenile. I mean those girls were HOT. Probably way hotter than we were and yet they feel threatened by just the colour of our skin?!
It's pretty amusing watching them watch our every move. But what the heck. We've always been people who pretty much did what we liked and not care what others say. But I wouldn't be suprised to hear rumours within their community that we're a couple of sluts. It happens. I should probably give them something real to talk about and actually steal one of their men. That'll teach them. But nah... the gratification I'm getting out of that probably wouldn't be as satisfying. Haha...
I'm just wondering if I'll ever see the day that this idiotic notion about race mixing will ever go away. It's simply irritating and juvenile. Probably won't happen in my lifetime though. I just wanna enjoy a cup of coffee with a bunch of really cool guys after a hard day's work. Is that really so much to ask?!
Friday, August 03, 2007
Second best...
Right now, in real life, I'm constantly second best. I don't know how or why but I'm constantly the number two person. No matter what I do it pales in comparison with the efforts of another. And what sucks even more is that the other person is an extremely close friend. So what can I do? What I'm going through is one of those dillemas that testifies real life is shitty.
It's natural that being second best most of my efforts go unnoticed. Or sometimes the things that I do is attributed to the other. It happens all the time. But seriously what can I do? What can I say?
My only defence mechanism is to laugh it off. Make a joke about it. Make it seem that it doesn't bother me but somehow deep down it still does. Is it jealousy? Envy? I guess so. But I think it's deeper than that. Though I'm not really sure what it is exactly.
Why is it that I'm invisible? Why is it that people just doesn't seem to see me? Are people really that shallow to not see the obvious when we are together? We all have our strengths but are mine so miniscule that it's instantly overshadowed by mere physical appearance? I'm just surprised that my self-esteem was actually strong enough to actually withstand these assaults every day. And somehow I haven't crumbled with all the pressure. I think other girls would probably go anorexic with the things that I have to go through.
I'm not ranting away out of frustration while in reality I'm sitting back and letting things happen. My will to be noticed, to make my efforts known are doubled. It is not surprising that I've been labelled as the aggressive one coz that's what I have to resort to make people sit up and listen. I work doubly hard for something that comes easily to another. It's not fair but that's the way life is.
These efforts are still not enough though. I'm still second best. I'm still the shadow. I'm still the posse.
Is physical change the answer? Is that what it takes nowadays? Shallowness is the deciding factor for a person's success? Must I stoop to the point of shallowness just to make it in life? Is that what I have to do to be the best?
Maybe it is...
Saturday, July 28, 2007
The Shisha and I
Difference between ciggies and shisha... you can't carry it around with you. So there's no chance of me getting addicted. Unless I somehow manage to procure myself a car (which is not anytime soon) and go to the shisha place every night. Thank god that place is hard to get to. And according to my shisha buddies who are experts on this subject, good shisha places are hard to find. Ironically the bad shisha places are run by arabs who brought this stuff to Malaysia in the first place.
I guess I kinda understand why some people love to smoke so much. There's somewhat a satisfaction when you exhale all that smoke out. For me I kinda also get energised afterwards. I'm actually typing this after my very first stint with the shisha. Woohoo!
But this is as close as I will get to smoking. I just can stand ciggie smoke. They stink. And then you end up stinking afterwards. If only everybody quit ciggie smoking and start taking up shisha. I think the world would be a better place. If not... at least there'll be less ciggie butts lying around everywhere.
Friday, July 27, 2007
Prejudices
Yeah... when I was in undergraduate I guess I was so wrapped up in my own world and biasness that I never really gave these people a chance. To me back then... they were all the same. Stuck up and prejudiced. When in reality I was the one with the prejudices.
Though it didn't help matters much when they too had their own prejudices against me. These people tend to see me in my baju kurung and my tudung bawal and instantly dismiss me as another typical malay girl. Of course I was offended. The way I dress don't define me. I never describe myself as typical and we English lit majors always pride ourselves of being non-typical. To us typical is a swear word.
I've grown up though.
Old prejudices slowly disintegrating.
New comprehensions dawning.
It's cool. I guess the best things out of this are new friends. Being with new people. Learning, knowing and understanding new things. It's nice to give each other a chance.
So goodbye prejudice... hope you never come back.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Full Speed Ahead!!
My body has been screaming that I've been going at warp speed lately and today it refused to cooperate with me. So what did I do the whole day? Sleeping. God... what an embarassment. Yeap, I slept the whole day. Sorry Dr F. (Yeah... I kinda promised her that I'd do something for her but unfortunately I couldn't wake up at all this morning). Guess she wont be asking me any more favours after this. Hate letting people down.
I think I even got Sarah all worried. She thinks I'm pissed at her for something which I totally am not. God... I think I'm a workaholic. Or an aspiring one. I'll probably have zero social life when I actually have a permanent job. God... I hope not.
My body still refuses to cooperate with me. So I guess I better take this as a sign and lock myself in my room and start doing my proposal (OMG deadline is so close!!). All that other work can wait... I guess *biting nails*.
Friday, July 13, 2007
Rape
My friend was raped.
MY FRIEND WAS RAPED!!!
If there was ever a time for me to truly hate men, this would definitely be it. Only a man can ever truly inflict this kind of pain to another human being. HOW CAN YOU RAPE PEOPLE!!?? HOW CAN YOU VIOLATE ANOTHER HUMAN BEING!!??
All I feel is anger. And helplessness. I can't do anything. I feel useless.I can't help her.
You know when they say that sometimes when something truly bad happens... it changes a person. Thats what happened. I have changed... But most importantly she has changed... I no longer her old self. She is right now a shell of the person that she used to be. I hate that man for making her like this. I hate him with with the very core of my being. And I swear that someday I shall bring him down.
I SWEAR IT!!
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Cruelty to Animals
Sunday, July 01, 2007
N O means NO, Not YES
Why is it with men and hard-to-get women? It's like a magnet reaction where men just can't resist. The attraction to hard-to-get women is so strong sometimes that even when women are not actually playing hard-to-get men can't seem to pull away. Seriously!*frustrated*
Trust me when I say that when most women say "I'm not in the mood" they really mean it. Therefore don't call, don't ask, beg, plead or sulk and just walk away. Coz when you do it'll be the smartest thing you'll ever do. If not women will get annoyed and when they are... Well let's just say it won't be pretty.
And you'll probably save yourself a whole lotta grace in front of the girl by not appearing weak either and on top of that actually comes off as understanding. Now ain't that a plus point for all you men out there. I mean we women do complain that men don't understand us. So even if you don't understand why we're not in the mood, just walk away and pretend that you do.
So I repeat my previous statement... sometimes a NO actually means NO. Figure out the subtle language of women and you'll be a better man for it.
Saturday, June 30, 2007
twosomes... threesomes
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Idiots!!
Even if you do plan to clog up my tagbox try to have some respect towards others and not use my friends' names to play your idiotic pranks.
To Syima, Sarah And all the others that have been wrongly maligned in my tagbox... I'm truly sorry. These a**holes probably had a brain transplant with monkeys.
I'm really sorry girls...
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Langkawi!
If you guys plan to go to Langkawi someday, I seriously recommend staying at Kg. Tok Senik Resort. The room was fantastic. Total kampung atmosphere and the internationals absolutely loved it. Heck... I loved it. My only gripe was that it wasn't close enough to the beach. But this was remedied by the 1 hour we spent at the beach later *drooling again*.
I also didn't manage to find my fave choccies. *sigh* Was really hoping that I could get some good chocolate shopping while I was there but its cool. Maybe next time. I totally can't wait to start planning for the next programme.
Monday, June 04, 2007
The Good Fairy...
"Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband" said the wife." The fairy waved her magic wand and -- pouf! -- two tickets for the Queen Mary II luxury liner appeared in her hands.
Then it was the husband's turn. He thought for a moment and said:
"Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me. " The wife and the fairy were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish... So the fairy waved her magic wand and -- pouf! -- the husband became 92 years old.
The moral of the story: Men who are ungrateful idiots should remember fairies are female.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
My so-called birthday bash...
But yeah... I kinda organised this get together. It was kinda supposed to be a joint birthday celebration for both Sheena and I but Sheena pulled out. Oh well... more attention on me ;)
We had it at San Francisco's again. The obvious choice since poor ole' me don't have a car. I really can't wait to get a real job!! Trust me when I'm loaded I'm gonna go GRAND for my birthday.
All in all it was a good night. As you can see the theme was red (my fave colour) so everybody looked pretty hot. Even the guys. Though I wished that some of my other close friends were there but I'm happy for all those who came. They were the best. Shall love you all always!
I just wonder who's gonna be brave enough to organise the next get together? I already have people clogging up my comment boxes in friendster to organise the next one. Penat la wei nak organise... Somebody else buat la pulak!
Friday, April 13, 2007
FROM LOVERS to FRIENDS
I got this article from a really cool blog that I read. Yeah... so I'm ripping off somebody else's blog but at least I'm not saying that it's mine. Thing is what the article is all about is exactly the thing that has been running through my head these last few months. Yes... I'm still in my post break-up mode but I'm getting better *fingers crossed behind back*. No seriously... I am *fingers still crossed*.
Oh-Kay... back to the article. After experiencing something that I do not wish any good-hearted citizens of the world to experience I've come to a conclusion that sometimes it's better to let sleeping dogs lie. Why stir things up and make the water murkier (Can u guys get me?) . In other words, maybe an ex is not a good candidate for a friend.
Heck... just read the article and you'll know what I mean.
In many relationships that don't end in marriage (well actually even then), there usually is a time when you have to say "hasta la vista baby." the two of you have shared memories together that when you look back upon, you will either laugh or cry. but whatever that memory might be, once a relationship ends, it's time to say "thanks" or "no thanks" for everything and move on.
But somewhere along the line, there's always the "let's remain friends" compromise to many breakups. it's the much gentler way of saying, "hey, you're not that bad. it's not you. it's me. but look, i still want to be friends with you." *smile* the question that my friends and i discuss a lot is:
Can you be good friends with your ex?
Ok. let's face it. whenever there's a breakup, it's usually never mutual. usually one person is the one that causes or initiates the breakup and is labeled "heartbreaker", while the other person is left hurting and dwelling on the breakup for weeks on end. ok. i admit. even the heartbreaker could hurt too, but usually the one who initiated the breakup moves on faster than the one who didn't.
After having meditated and burned incense on this question, my friends and i have come to the conclusion that NO, it's very rare for many people to become truly good friends with their ex's.
Take me for example. although my ex and i agreed that we would be good friends, we're really not. sure, i get a greeting on my birthday and during the holidays and i just greeted him on his birthday, but those are about the only times we communicate. and i actually prefer it this way. i'm sure he and his wife now does too.
However, i have a friend whose boyfriend and his ex have become best friends instead. whoa! yes. it's true. it can be done. but, when your ex is your best friend and you tell your best friend things about your current relationship, hmm, you could land yourself in a heap of mess.
so why can't ex's remain friends?
here's some reasons i've read on why the can't:
1. There's always a heartbreaker and the heartbreakee. same as mentioned above.
2. You know what they look like underneath all those clothes. you've seen each other naked. whenever you smell their special perfume or cologne, or whenever you hear music that was special to the both of you, you're always going to remember that person and the things you used to do together ( ie, make love, make-out, etc)
3. You can't divulge intimate details about your current relationship to your ex. it would just be wrong for you to tell your ex you just had the greatest sex of your life with someone else.
4. Bitterness comes into play. an ex can pretend to be a friend, but deep down they'd rather see you and your current partner dead (jk). me - actually this is kinda true ;P (jk)
5. Jealousy. seriously - who really likes seeing their ex being lovey dovey with someone else anyway?
Taken from http://daphne.blogs.friendster.com (Thanks Daphne!)
When I think about it... It's hard thinking that my ex will no longer be in my life. He was a good friend. But as much as I hate losing my ex, I just dont think us being friends is gonna help out with me moving on with my life. Why torture myself seeing him be happy with another girl while I could do the same thing with another guy? Life is short, it's just not worth wasting time dwelling on the past.
Maybe someday we can become friends but perhaps another 10 years or so. Or at least until I'm no longer wishing them to be hit by a bus or something. Hahaha! Joking... seriously just joking.
p.s. Happy Friday the 13th. Muahahaha!!
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Me... A blogger?
I did this! I did this!
And all the pretty 'dulang girls' in a row
Tiah was practically a one woman wonder. She did all of Andry's hantaran and even Adry's makeup. I helped with the roses in her hair. That's why I photoshopped the picture *So proud! Heck... My first time photoshopping, ok*. All I can say now is I'm proud of lil' Adry. She came a long way and have been through a lot to get this far. And kudos to her coz she never stopped trying. She never gave up. *SOB* Man... I hate getting sentimental.
I also heard that my old roommate, Has, is getting maried soon and also Anis Suhaidalisa, another one of my roommates is geting engaged. I guess it's time. You can't run away from all this marriage stuff no matter how much you try. *sigh* And because of that I hafta prepare myself for the INEVITABLE question, *bracing self* "Awak bila pulak?" Aarrgghh...
So life starts anew for some of my friends. For Adry, Kuhan, Has, Midge... oh yeah, Midge got herself a new job and a place of her own. She's all grown up now. I'm glad... I feel like a mother bird watching her baby take off on her first flight. *SOB* OMG here I go again. Heck, I should feel this way... she practically lived with me for a whole month before she got the job. How time flies...
I'm still in my student mode. Feels like I'm way behind sometimes but I feel it's worth doing what I'm doing now. I'm sure it will be. *determined*
Thesis time is upon me! I hafta persevere! Gambate!
p.s. I love this picture. Who knows when we might get together like this again. (Although I'm hoping this May *wishing hard*). Sheena and Fynn competed in a Poetry Slam. Something like a one-day Akademi Fantasia for poets. Though they didn't win but they did us proud! We missed their performance (drat!) even though we tried to make it there on time after Adry's engagement but we all had fun afterwards hanging out. We're such a fun eclectic group (Me, Nina, Midge and Anne in our baju kurung while Cass, Sheena and Angel in their sexy get up. Woohoo! Very eclectic I must say) that a 'Mat Salleh' actually came and took our picture. Haha! Takpe... The time for us to hang out shall cometh again, my friends!
p.s. again. I was 25 last April 1st!! OMG I'm officially a quater of century old. Wahlau! Neways thanks so much to all my pals especially Anne, Midge and Julie for the GORGEOUS "Coach" bag, Sheena for my cute and lovely clutch and K-Rul for making that day a special one for me. I love u guys so much. Muahs!
*I got a Sony Ericsson MP3 phone. Yeay!*
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Moving on...
I mean what's the point in living life looking back into the past, right? But as much as you try not to let the past haunt you, it does. A person who doesn't have the past haunting them are only humanoids void of feelings. Seriously...
I mean everything that happens in life happens for a reason and your future, your entire self was shaped by what happened earlier in your life. So the past does matter, it's just a matter of how much you let it effect you.
Right now, all I wanna do is to speed up my recovery process. I just wanna forget about my past and get on with life with maximum happiness. Urgghh... healing sucks. Why does it have to take so long!?
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Desperado
There's no denying it even the most attractive people will turn BLEARGH when they start oozing desperate vibes. It's a definite turn off. Even desperate people don't go for other desperate people. Desperate just ain't rite!!
So you wanna know if you're desperate? Do you ever...
1. Hint off a relationship just after a few sms-es to somebody (and you haven't even met that person yet!!)?
2. Do you start posting up pictures of that person in your phone and computer just after a few phone calls?
3. Do you talk off a "connection" after a few conversations with a person?
If you say YES to even one of the questions then you are DEFINITELY desperate!! So cool it! Desperation will only achieve one thing... all your potential dates running at full speed in the opposite direction. Yes... even the butt ugly ones. Trust me, I speak from experience. All those questions I asked... I had to endure that from a guy I know through the net, whom I have never ever met before and was already talking about our parents meeting after a few days of sms-ing. *screams* I'm suffocating by just thinking about it! Now I have to figure out a way to make a graceful sprint in the opposite reaction.
No offence to all of you desperados out there but this is for your own good. Tone it down!! There's nothing that interests people more than a good ol' hard-to-get chase. Getting to know somebody is like knowing there's a juicy prize at the end of a long race but those who rush to get it might accidentally kick it further from reach.
It's the flirting that keeps people going. The playful banterings and the hints of better things to come will just keep people coming back for more. Ain't that right people?
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Marriage...
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:
"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"
His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night .....whether you're here or not."
(DAMN SHE'S GOOD!)
************************************
Marriage (Part II)
Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary!
The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that
reads:
"Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever "
"Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads:
"Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last"
(HE ASKED FOR IT!)
******************************
Marriage (Part III)
Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table. Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either," and storms out of the house.
After some time, he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says, "What took you so long to answer the phone?"
She says, "I was in bed."
"In bed this early, doing what?"
"Getting a second opinion!"
(YEP, HE HAD THAT ONE COMING, TOO!)
******************************************
Marriage (Part IV)
A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife, "Mother of Six"
in spite of her objections.
One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of Six?'
His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouts right back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."
(RIGHT ON, LADY!)
**************************************
Marriage (Part V) The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 am for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 am" He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
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God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.