Berry, Berries everywhere!

So ever since friends has noticed that my (crappy) phone was coming to the end of its life cycle, they've constantly urged me to start getting smart. In other words, get a smartphone. And so on the last day of 2010, not only did I bid goodbye to another year, I also bade farewell to my CSL which has begrudgingly stayed alive in order to see me off to another phase of handheld technology. And then it gratefully died.

So now, for me its... berries, berries, I take my BLACKBERRY EVERYWHERE :)

This latest gadget that has successfully made me feel OLD and very STUPID beyond all measure. This smartphone is definitely smarter than I am. After 24 hours of fidgeting with it I still have no clue on how to fully utilise at least one of its functions. But whatever, at least now I don't feel/ look so inferior compared to my students who are mostly using Iphones and phones that can probably shoot lasers and turn into jet packs. Yes, I am shallow like that.

So since I have now jumped unto the Blackberry bandwagon, any friends and bloggers who'd love to harass chat with me just email me for my BB pin. Lets chat FOC the night away :D

Now back to figuring out how this BB works. *fidgetfidgetfidget*

Peace out!

Crazy Cat Lady strikes!

I envision my future grandfurkids will look a lot like these cuties though (hopefully) with longer fur. Bib!! Hurry up and give birth!!

Peace out!

I am OBSESSED!

Continuing on from my previous post, Multitasking has long since deserted me and thus segmenting my brain to juggle multiple priorities at the same time is now becoming a chore. Since Tumblr can only take up so much of my time (although other Tumbloggers may beg to differ), the majority of my time is now occupied to cater to the whims and needs of one feline fatty, Bib the cat.

The latest addition to my family of one (geez, how much of a loser can I be?) is now expecting to further expand the family circle. Bib is officially and heavily knocked up. Other than being a painful reminder that a cat is getting more 'lovin-action' than I am, she is also the reason to why my social life has dwindled from barely there to near non-existent. I can only thank my best mates for literally saving me from growing roots in front of the laptop.

But life with Bib has its perks. It's good to have a warm reception every time you get home from work be it from a furry, four-legged, overweight creature. The only downside is that my crazy cat lady tendencies are flaring up. I am barely holding myself back from literally squeezing the kittens out of Bib like toothpaste.

But I wont.

Seriously. I wont.

Peace out!

p.s. Bib is due mid January. Am considering of putting up a video of her giving birth. Yes, I'm gross that way.

Blog Revisited

4 months. My best record yet for leaving this blog unattended. Not that I had nothing to say. Nor has my thoughts been in the least bit coherent.

My only excuse is that the internet, as distracting and as addictive as it has always been, has offered new outlets of expression that really fits well with my busy (yeah right) lifestyle and lazy personality. I discovered Tumblr. Blogging made easy. Follow a whole bunch of people and *click*, you just reblogged a whole bunch of entries.

So if you're curious on what stuffs I reblog, check out my super simple Tumblr:

Rambling Reflections

Expect nothing. Pure thoughts put down on paper cyberspace. Plus, I need a Tumblr geek to help me figure out the inner workings of the site. I may be too dumb for Tumblr.

Follow if you like. I'm one follower shy of a full 30. Damn, I'm popular *kills self*.

Peace out!

We wish you a Merry Christmas, We wish you a MERRY CHRISTMAS and a happy... that'll come later

Peace out!

Feline Fetish

I desperately want a cat. Big and fat would be good. And lazy. But loves to play. Like this guy...

Off to find a fat cat. Adios!

Ramadhan Kareem

Happy Fasting :)

Flylashes??!! Eeewwwww...

High-end brands now produces contact lenses. Japanese anime has spurred on the anime lenses that even the likes of Lady Gaga are also wearing them. Madonna revolutionized fake eyelashes with diamantes and feathers replacing the typical lashline and lashes. The Asians brought on the eyebrow tattooing craze. You'd think that there was there was no way for eye-related products to be any more bizarre. And then you get these.

We’re all for eyelash enhancement. Fake lashes, lash extensions, lash tinting — why not if it's in the name of beauty? But this is not only creepy — it’s gross and flat out disturbing. Invented by a young British artist, Jessica Harrison, she truly stepped out of the (normal) box and designed her very own set of fake lashes made entirely out of fly’s legs.

Grossed out yet? Just check out the video then.

Flylashes from Jessica Harrison on Vimeo.

Originally from this website: Styleite

If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

Talk about a university that truly rolls with the times. If you can't stop teens from having sex then make them have safe sex. A complete 180 from what my previous university believed in. I think I'll really like it here :P

IIUM Theater Week

I should've done this earlier but I forgot. But since I love my students that much... COME ONE, COME ALL TO IIUM's THEATER WEEK.

You guys better greet me at the door with a kompang, and smoke machine now.

5 Things You Never Knew Your Cell Phone Could Do

Just thought I'd share this :)

FIRST

Emergency

The Emergency Number worldwide for Mobile is 112. If you find Yourself out of the coverage area of your mobile network and there is an Emergency, dial 112 and the mobile will search any existing network to Establish the emergency number for you, and interestingly, this number 112 can be dialed even if the keypad is locked. Try it out.

SECOND

Have you locked your keys in the car?

Does your car have remote keyless entry? This may come in handy someday. Good reason to own a cell phone: If you lock your keys In the car and the spare keys are at home, call someone at home on their cell phone from your cell phone. Hold your cell phone about a foot From your car door and have the person at your home press the unlock button, holding it near the mobile phone on their end. Your car will unlock. Saves someone from having to drive your keys to you. Distance is no object. You could be hundreds of miles away, and if you can reach someone who has the other ’ remote ’ for your car, you can unlock the doors (or the trunk).

Editor’s Note: It works fine! We tried it out and it unlocked our car over a cell phone!

THIRD

Hidden Battery Power

Imagine your cell battery is very low. To activate, press the keys *3370#. Your cell phone will restart with this reserve and the instrument will show a 50% increase in battery. This reserve will get charged when you charge your cell phone next time.

FOURTH

How to disable a STOLEN mobile phone?

To check your Mobile phone’s serial number, key in the following Digits on your phone: *#06#. A 15-digit code will appear on the screen. This number is unique to your handset. Write it down and keep it somewhere safe. If your phone gets stolen, you can phone your service provider and give them this code. They will then be able to block your handset so even if the thief changes the SIM card, your phone will be totally useless. You probably won’t get your phone back, but at least you know that whoever stole it can’t use/sell it either. If everybody does this, there would be no point in people stealing mobile phones.

And Finally……

FIFTH

Free Directory Service for Cells

Cell phone companies are charging us $1.00 to $1.75 or more for 411 information calls when they don’t have to. Most of us do not carry a telephone directory in our vehicle, which makes this situation even more of a problem. When you need to use the 411 information option, simply dial: (800)FREE411 or (800) 373-3411 without incurring any charge at all. Program this into your cell phone now.

Dilemma Orang Melayu

One Malaysia is a myth?

Kenapa agaknya orang Melayu selalu dikaitkan dengan kerja kerajaan? Orang Cina pula mesti jadi businessman and orang India jadi peguam atau doktor. Adakah itu satu kemestian jikalau kita dilahirkan sebagai seorang Malaysian?

Tak lama dulu aku diterima bekerja di sebuah syarikat swasta. Syarikat itu milik seorang warganegara Australia yang dah menjadi penduduk tetap Malaysia. Walaupun aku 'excited' dapat masuk syarikat tu tapi tak sangka la pulak ramai yang memberi respon negatif dan memberi amaran agar berjaga-jaga. Kata mereka sektor swasta ni susah lebih-lebih lagi jika boss bukan orang Melayu. Ramai berpendapat kalau nak kerja senang, mesti cari syarikat yang majoriti pekerjanya sama kaum dengan kamu. Pada pendapat aku, pemikiran begini macam ada unsur-unsur perkauman je. Setiap bangsa seolah-olah dikategorikan dengan perangai tertentu maka kaum berlainan tak boleh 'ngam'. Tak boleh bekerjasama.

Yang paling mengecewakan apabila majoriti yang berpendapat begini adalah orang Melayu. Ramai yang sanggup menolak peluang pekerjaan yang lebih elok semata-mata ingin mengelak daripada bekerja dengan orang berlainan kaum. Jika ditanya kenapa meraka berbuat demikian, semua memberi alasan mendengar terlalu banyak 'horror story' mengenai bekerja dengan mereka yang berlainan kaum. Inilah orang Melayu kita, baru dengar 'horror story' je dah give up terus. Jikalau korang give-up lepas korang cuba bekerja kat situ, itu lain cerita. Ini cuba pun tidak, tapi dah give up awal-awal. Isk... isk... isk...

Tapi takleh nak salahkan orang Melayu je. Kaum lain pun selalu juga bertanggapan negatif kat orang Melayu. Ramai boss-boss bukan Melayu yang tak suka mengambil pekerja Melayu. Pada pandangan diorang pekerja Melayu adalah pemalas dan tak boleh diharap. Sesetangah syarikat swasta hanya mengambil pekerja Melayu kerana perlu memenuhkan kuota pekerja bumiputera. Jika diberi peluang mereka langsung tak nak mengambil pekerja Melayu. My supervisor secara terang-terangan mengaku yang dia berfikir 2-3 kali bila kena interview orang Melayu. Bukan kerana dia tak suka orang Melayu tapi disebabkan reputasi orang Melayu yang konon-kononnya pemalas dan tak suka cabaran dalam pekerjaan. Nasib baik juga aku berjaya meyakinkan dia yang aku bukan orang sebegitu, jadi aku pun dapat la kerja tu. Tapi bayangkanlah situasi interview di mana kedua-dua pihak, majikan dan pekerja, masing-masing ada tanggapan negatif terhadap pihak yang satu lagi tu. Macam mana nak bekerjasama kalau dari awal lagi dah takde kepercayaan langsung.

Sampai bila la rakyat Malaysia nak hidup dalam stereotaip negatif ni. Kalau pekerjaan setiap individu dah ditentukan buat apa ajar anak-anak Malaysia untuk ada cita-cita. Baik cakap je terus "Aiman, nanti bila dah besar nanti takleh kerja selain daripada kerja kerajaan tau. Kena kerja situ sebab orang Melayu semua kerja situ." Rasanya dia akan jawab "Aiman tak kisah" tak?

Konklusinya setiap orang ada kehebatan tersendiri. Jadi tak kiralah bangsa apa pun orang tu, peluang mestilah diberi tanpa sebarang prejudis. Walaupun aku seorang berbangsa Melayu, namun aku bukan hak milik kerajaan.

For once I wanna be ugly

Please click on image to enlarge

DAILY DRIVING PET PEEVES…

1. Driving behind a guy who’s in no big hurry for anything, so he drives like ten km per hour.

2. People who don't wait their turn and squeeze their way into a turning/ junction

3. Tailgaters and High Beamers.

4. People who honks at every single opportunity

5. People who does not use the signal to turn.

What are some of your driving pet peeves?

It ain't nice to be nice?

I'm suddenly hit by this sudden urge to expand on the topic of 'niceness' from my previous post. These questions keeps going going round and round in my head. Is niceness truly overrated nowadays? Is it old-fashioned? Has it become redundant?

I don't see that many people giving up their seats on the LRT anymore nor do I see people helping out a neighbour who's moving out. People in trouble are now entertainment where its fun to gawk at their difficulties.

The world today has become selfish, self-centered and indifferent. We no longer live in the days of chivalry and manners. Its every man for themselves. You snooze, you lose. Being nice is no longer a part of life. It needs to be reminded with posters and signs and even TV advertisements. It is an afterthought. Something you entertain when you have time to spare. Being nice is not considered a virtue. Merely a time filler to while away idle time and to boost up your image while you're at it. Why do you think all acts of kindness are highlighted in newspapers nowadays? Simply because true acts of kindness are rare. Why be kind or nice if you have nothing to gain from it?

I still remember my conversation with my CEO, "Shan you're too sweet. You need to be more assertive. More forceful. Then people will respect you. If you're too nice then people will walk all over you. You need to erase 'May I'... 'Can I'... 'Could you'... and 'Please'... from your vocabulary." He then proceeded to demonstrate a "professional" call. Basically it was just him bullying a poor PA into releasing her boss's telephone number. My reaction to that was whaaaa???

If niceness is like an asset only to be used when it best suits you then why teach kids to be kind in the first place. If they're just going to grow up to be cold-hearted and unfeeling then might as well teach them from the very beginning that being nice is not the best way to go. So what if they're bullies when they're just gonna grow up into bigger bullies.

But me being the oddball of the 21st century, I still believe that a little act of kindness will go a long way. To this very day I still remember and how a kind young man gave up his seat for me simply because he saw that I gave up my seat for an elderly man. If me, one little person, can propel another individual to do an act of kindness than I'm sure 10 other person can do the same.

William Wordsworth once said that "the best portion of a good man's life is his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and love". So be kind and nice people, because niceness is NOT overrated.

Chronicles of a Job Hopper pt. 1 - The Producer

Job hopping can literally suck the life out of you. I've only been at it for only a month but after going through the endless cycle of personalising resumes, interviews and adapting to new workplaces I'm literally turning into a non entity. Belonging to neither here nor there. Forgotten in a blink of an eye. So if you get the sudden urge to start job hopping, clamp down the feeling. Hard! Trust me. Don't learn the hard way.

After woefully ending my teaching stint at the university, I decided to stretch my wings and see where the winds of change would take me. The first gust of wind landed me on a surprisingly cushy job at an events management company where I'm in charge of researching and putting together business conferences. It was my first real job (outside the university that is) that if people were to ask what my designation was in the company, I'd (literally) puff up my chest proudly and say "I'm a Conference Producer". Bangga siot.

I looked forward to the job just like a fresh grad would. All this while my whole world revolved around the university but now I'm a newbie in the corporate world. The corporate world was everything that I thought it would be: exciting, fast-paced, time-oriented, business-oriented and of course money-oriented. Those people were easily excited by the sound of ka-ching! I knew that it was a dog-eat-dog world but the truth was I was way in over my head. I should've known just how tough this job could be by the number of people who had quit before I came in. One girl actually lasted for a record of 3 days before she up and left. I consider it a personal record when I actually lasted a whole month before I called it quits.

I was thrown into the job almost immediately. Everyday was a barrage of phone calls and random conversations with completely rude or brusque strangers. It was bad enough that the workload was horrendous at the office itself but the job also requires you to literally bring your work home. And at every step and every turn I took I met with constant criticism. "You're not forceful enough". "The data is crap". "You don't have enough numbers". "YOU GOTTA STOP SAYING PLEASE!!" Not only was I deemed not efficient I was also too nice. How can I be too nice? There's no such thing as being too nice. In fact, people nowadays needs to be nicer. Sheesh. Seems like humility was not welcomed in the corporate world. It was a sign of weakness. Being nice would mean you'd end up as a pushover. But seriously, what's wrong with being nice. Just because the other company is making money through harassing and bullying people does that mean you need to harass and bully people back? Where does the corporate world's integrity lie?

The cherry on top of the cake however was when the company was so nonchalant on the idea of lying. What kind of employer would actually encourage the employees to lie? Sure you need to think creatively to achieve your goals but does thinking creatively mean lying? And since when lying became a legitimate mode of business? Call me a Utopian idealist or call me stupid but I believe that a company, no matter how money minded they are, should maintain a certain amount of dignity and go about their business with honesty. I may not be the most religious person in the world but I really cant work in a company where lying is encouraged and being a bully is appreciated.

Immediate notice given. My measly things packed up. I walked out of there free and feeling as if a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. No more late nights trying to find phone numbers of strangers. No more angry yells from your CEO, or your Supervisor or from strangers on the phone. But most importantly no more lying. The only regret I had were the new friends and a thermos I left behind. The friends I dont regret leaving as much since Facebook keeps everyone connected these days but the thermos is now as good as lost. A damn good thermos it was. I'll miss it greatly.

So all you job-seeking people out there, if you ever come across a job as Conference Producer then just beware. Unless you're one of those people who loves calling up random strangers by the hundreds then just turn around and walk on by. Best to keep your sanity intact.

*Next up, the interview monster. Watch this space.

Siapa suka kutuk mengutuk? Anonymous!!

Blogpost ini sempena meraikan kali pertama Shan Aziz menerima komen 'anonymous'. Setelah bertahun-tahun menjadi blogger akhirnya si anonymous sudi meninggalkan sepatah dua kata. Komen anonymous ni bukan sebarang komen ye, ini komen anonymous yang telah mengutuk diri kerdil ini 'perasan'. Adakah Shan Aziz perasan? Iye. Kadang-kadang saya ni memang perasan jugak orangnya. Tapi rasanya takdelah lebih-lebih sangat. Kalau orang perasan sedar yang diri dia perasan maka dapatlah dia meng-'kontrol' keperasanan diri dia sendiri. Tapi kalau orang yang perasan tak sedar yang dia tu perasan... haih parah situasi tu.

Persoalannya sekarang, kenapa perlu meng-anonymouskan diri sendiri? Saya rasa kalau nak beri kutukan kritikan membina ataupun sekadar ingin menegur, apa salahnya memperkenalkan diri sendiri. Kadang-kadang ada juga isu yang membuatkan ramai warga-warga anonymous ni semua bergaduh sesama sendiri. Sampai naik konfius nak baca semua komen. Ada juga situasi di mana warga-warga anonymous ni berdebat sesama sendiri sampaikan orang lain boleh tahu identiti masing-masing. Kalau cam gitu, baik tak payah jadi anonymous. Itu sudah famous.

Tapi takpelah, mungkin warga anonymous itu semua tak gila glamer. Low profile la katakan. Cuma eloklah kalau kita semua ambil iktibar dari pepatah omputih ni,

"If you have nothing nice to say, then don't say anything at all."

Tak macho aaa jadi anonymous.

If your life was made into a movie, who would play you?

Inspired by post from a friend and fellow blogger, Azreen, I've been curious ever since to find out which actor/actress/superhero/wrestler/politician/supervillain/cartoon character etc. would you want to potray 'you' in a movie. Leave your choices in the comment box kay :)

Me? Hands down its America Ferrara. Coz she looks like me :D

Sama kan? kan? kan?

So come on folks, sit back and let someone else play your life.

And IIUM shall be proud...

Remember the entry 'Be my Guess?'. I'm 'guest'-ing that entry really cracked most of you up. And since I have been in desperate need of cheering up of late, I've decided to share more funny liners that my friends and I have spotted throughout IIUM during our study years. If IIUM were to find out about this post I'll probably be in deep sh*t.

But what the heck. Onwards with the funnies!

Taken from a 'Go Green' poster

This is neither British nor American spelling. Please note wriggly red line whenever you type something. It's wriggly & red for a reason.

Taken from IIUM PC Fair

"Promote! Promote! 1 day only. If you don't come now I cannot promote you. "

(Also note that 's' has somehow disappeared from 'unit'. Ashamed to be in the same poster as 'special promote' perhaps?)

Taken from an IIUM Bazaar

The word makan in inverted commas suggests so many different meanings for those with the "imaginative" minds. Give a teen an opportunity and they'll amaze you with his/her perverseness.

Taken from an ad in IIUM

Never mind all the grammatical mistakes. Concentrate on "Are you 'in' Harry?" *LoL* I told you, give any opportunity for perverseness and it shall happen.

Taken from a poster in IIUM

Anybody care to sign up? Tools needed for the workshop: long trench coat, dark sunglasses, cap and running shoes.

Taken from a 'Maintain Cleanliness' poster in IIUM

Decoy (taken from Oxford Dictionary):

1. a bird or mammal, or an imitation of one, used to lure game.

2. a person or thing used to mislead or lure someone into a trap.

3. a pond from which narrow netted channels lead, into which wild duck may be enticed for capture.

So are we supposed to use a bird/ mammal to clean as we go? Or mislead someone when we want to clean? Or perhaps jump into a pond full of ducks after we clean? Hmmm...

Taken from a sign at one of the IIUM cafetarias

To check if you are a male, you must ensure that you have extra hanging appendages in between your crotch. If in doubt please do not hesitate to ask the nearest persons next to you. If in further doubt please go to the nearest administration office and drop your pants for further clarification.

So there you go folks. Hope you all had a good laugh. And please don't hesitate to point out further funny liners if ever you see one. We all could always do with a good laugh or two :)

*pics courtesy of Zetty Amny. She and I had plenty of good laughs over these few pictures .*

Saya innocent, encik. Betul!!

Tarikh: Isnin, 5 April 2010

Lokasi: Simpang dari UIA menuju cabang Ampang (MRR2)/KL (Karak) di highway.

Masa: 9.30pm

Situasi: gelap-gelita

Mr. JayPeeJay: Awak terkejut ke saya suruh awak berhenti?

Shan: Agak ah (mata bulat ketakutan, muka pucat lesi sambil tangan menggenggam erat stereng kereta. Kesan genggaman itu masih lagi berada di stereng kereta sampai sekarang.)

Mr. JayPeeJay: Cermin kereta awak ni gelap ni.

Shan: heh? (mata kini bulat kebingungan)

Mr. JayPeeJay: Awak buat semua cermin ke? (dia mengeluarkan lampu suluh dan menyuluh kesemua cermin kereta. Muka serius je).

Shan: haaa?! (sekarang mulut pula ternganga luas. Alhamdulillah kawasan tu takde serangga2 terbang.)

Mr. JayPeeJay: Bila awak buat cermin ni?

Shan: T..tak buat pape pun encik. Apa yang saya dapat t.. time beli kereta ni, n... ni je lah. (haih... gagap la pulak)

Mr. JayPeeJay: Betul ke ni?

Saya: (mata semakin bulat) B... betul encik. Saya ni mana tahu sangat bab2 kereta ni (butiran peluh sejuk mula berkumpul di dahi)

Mr. JayPeeJay:: Macam susah nak percaya je...

Saya: B..b betul encik. Saya memang tak buat pape. Kalau tak percaya boleh telefon mak saya (terus keluarkan handphone dan dail nombor mak.)

Mr. JayPeeJay: Eh. Tak payah... tak payah. (Dia belek2 cermin lagi. Lepas tu dia pandang muka saya. Saya pun pandang balik muka dia).

5 minit berlalu.

Mr. JayPeeJay: Cermin ni gelap ni. Awak kene pergi check kat JPJ.

Shan: Okay, okay. Saya pergi check.

Mr. JayPeeJay: Kalau betul gelap awak kena bayar denda.

Shan: Hah? Ye ke? Okay, okay saya pergi check.

Mr. JayPeeJay: (geleng kepala) Haih... okaylah. Awak pegi baliklah.

Shan: Boleh balik eh? Okthanksbye. (tanpa ragu2 terus tekan minyak dan blah)

2 jam kemudian.

Shan: (tengah baring2 tiba2 terbangun) Laaa... dia nak aku hulur duit ke?

Inilah alkisah seorang perempuan lurus bendul yang tak pernah kena tahan polis/ JPJ. Kadangkala lurus bendul tu ada hikmahnya juga ye.

Now why didn't I think of that?

Now I know how to kill time when my mum drags me shopping :P

Facebook... literally.

Disturbingly Awesome

Lemme know if you get nightmares.

Happy 25th Birthday! Wait se minit. 25? Again?

To all April Fool's baby,

I dedicate this video to you so that you'll all start your birthday depressed and suicidal. So when your friends play crappy jokes and mean pranks on your special day, your mood can't get any worse. To any of you planning April Fool's jokes on me, I swear I'll unleash the power of 'It', the clown, on you.

And yes, I'm 25 again this year.

And the award goes to...

Whenever I bloghop I always wonder about those award icons that some people have on their blogs. I'm like "how do I get one of those? Do I enter a competition? Do I need a gazillion followers just to get one of those icons? I want one!"

Yes folks, I am one of those narcissistic people that need to feed their self-esteem constantly.

But finally! I got an award. Woohoo! My self-esteem is hitting the roof. So thanks to dear Kak Aisyah I finally have an icon to show off. Kak Aisyah, you're the best!

However as recipients of this award, I am bound to certain rules.

Rule no. 1: Accept the award. *gladly*

Rule no. 2: Write 7 stuff about myself that people should know. *Aiyoo now this is the hard part. What to write aaa?*

7 Things you should know about me.

1. I'm a Master Procrastinator. Things that I can finish off today, I can postpone till the next month. This post was started at 2.30pm, 26th March 2010. It is now 1.20am, 31st March 2010. So yeah, I have truly mastered the art of procrastinating.
2. Sleep is my defense mechanism. The more I worry/ stressed/ depressed/ mad/ suicidal, the more I sleep. It's probably one of the main factors why I procrastinate so much.
3. Sometimes I cepat perasan. Okay, I am not gonna elaborate on this. Korang paham-paham sendirilah.
4. I'm a hopeless romantic masquerading as a heartless pessimist. I still dream that someday I'll meet my soulmate.
5. I indulge the bimbo in me by regular dosage of America's Next Top Model and Project Runway. I've yet to miss an episode of these two shows.
6. I am an Asian drama addict. Theme of choice: The love dynamics of younger guy & older woman.
7. I think I might end up as a 'cougar' someday.

And since I have done my part, I shall now pass on this award to those who are just as deserving.

1. Sarah Bukan Raksasa - She claims she's not a raksasa and yet she's a multiple personality disordered cookie monster. It'll be an interesting blogpost indeed.
2. Chuck - Coz she's a Kpop Otaku disguised as a medical researcher. The combination of the two is simply mind boggling.
3. Bawang - He's the Puaka from Patpong. Nuff said.
4. Aimee - I am forced to include her. She's my baby sister.
5. All followers and readers - the fact that you're reading my blog makes all of you beautiful to me.

Yikes, its now 2am. Told ya I'm a master procrastinator.

This Burdened Heart

This burdened heart speaks low but clear
That today destiny’s lanes are not very clear;
That pain, like rain, can mist up the eyes
That clouds, like pain can block out the skies

That somewhere else my heart wants to go
There are dreams and all I had to forego
Burdening my heart: where lies happiness
If my mind lies elsewhere, oscillating and vacillating:
Restrained and constrained, layers within layers
Life is but a stage and we, the players
But also when total liberty beckons, perplexed
My soul is vanquished, there are no walls to demolish
No mountains to climb, no one to care;
Nobody to say, nobody at all
“Not now, not like this, not this time”
That somewhere in this century we are alone, bewildered,
Abandoned, that we are
Parts of burdened hearts, that lie lost, thrown aside
Neglected, dejected, rejected
That there are no signposts on the crumbling way.

This burdened heart stops and starts
Carries on, bump-a-lump; will not give up
Life is but a brimming cup.

~Rani Turton~

MAP Arts Festival.

No plans for the day? Want something to do? Head on down to the MAP Arts Festival.

MAP is opening its doors TODAY, 27th of March 2010 with a 2-day arts festival. Activities include music, art, sculpture, performances, installations, talks, workshops and art markets alongside social and individual empowerment activities. The festival will introduce MAP’s two spaces: a 6,000 sq ft gallery and a 200-seater experimental theatre named the White Box and Black Box respectively.

In the works is an exciting program of community oriented activities that encompasses the widest possible diversity of creative content. MAP will provide opportunities for arts and cultural producers from multidisciplinary backgrounds. As a meeting point between artists, curators, critics and the public, it will serve as a catalyst for the exchange and exploration of contemporary ideas.

MAP is located in Solaris Dutamas. Details can be obtained via their website, www.mapkl.org or call Alex Yong at 019-3222932, Erna Dyanty at 012-2310961 or Sze at 013-3330852.

Free Admission to ALL Events. Check out their schedule on their Facebook page or just refer to the image below for activities that'll interest you.

Hope to see you there :)

Jane Austen kicks Zombie ass.

Imagine women of the Victorian era all in long dresses with necklines all the way up to their chin and hairdos that'll stretch your scalp, all involved in a death battle with zombies.

Or...

these same women all involved in a tumultuous love affair with SEA MONSTERS! Man oh man, the things people come up with nowadays.

This whole Supernatural/ classic literature mashup is somewhat bizarre, I tell you. But in a good way. I totally support anything that'll generate more interest in reading the classics. Yes even the Twilight series. Even though I detest the very idea of the non-fanged, glittering (So gay) bloodsucking vampire series it has at the very least generate an interest among youngsters to read Wuthering Heights. All because it's Edward Cullen & Bella's favourite book.

They even revamped the book cover so that it resembles the 'Twilight' series and even highlighted the fact that its Edward & Bella favourite book. Talk about feeding the obsession eh?

Now take Rick Riordan's Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief for example. Before the book series (and now the motion picture) came out kids/ teens probably didn't know that Hermes is not merely an expensive brand name and thought that Apollo is a type of snack. In reality they're both names of Ancient Greek gods. So despite the fact that it is pure fiction this series is actually informative. Heck even I got some benefit out of reading the series. Some information I got out of the book was actually useful in one of my lessons. Who knew eh?

I actually learned about the 12 Greek Gods from this book. And trust me the book is WAY better than the movie. WAY better.

So yeah, if literary purists were to say "Oh my god, you're ruining great works of literature!" then I say " Shut your trap, and be glad. Mashup classics is the latest fad." Hey, I just rhymed! And I stand true to what I just said. As great as any fad may be it'll still fade away in time but great works of literature, be it the classics or modern literary works, will forever stand the test of time. All we need to do is generate enough interest in people so that they'll never be forgotten.

So do check out the books. Pride and Prejudice and Zombies was number three on the New York Times Bestseller list and the same author now just published another book entitled Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter which is now number four on the New York Times Bestseller list. Meanwhile Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters is written by a different author but is published by the same company.

*And since my birthday is like a week away (1st April!!) I would LOVE to have one of these books as a birthday present. Please... pretty please, someone? :D

Biol punya orang. Tak reti bawak kereta ke? *tunjuk jari tengah*

The title does not in any way refer to me at all. In fact it refers to the moron who thinks that just because my car is smaller than his, therefore he has the right to act like a jerk and give out rude gestures.

You'd think that I'd got this response because I was driving slow on the fast lane or endangering other drivers by driving recklessly or something. But no, I got this "charming" epithet all because I cut him off when I entered the middle lane. Did I nearly ram into his car? Heck no! He was miles behind me. Did I signal? Of course.

So what did I do wrong? I was driving slower than he was.

Seriously, I don't get dudes with heavily modified cars who has this need to speed whenever they drive. But whatever lah, if you wanna speed like a mad person then go ahead because its your bloody fuel that you're burning. Tak kacau duit aku pun. But what I truly don't get is that they need to speed even though they're not on the fast lane and they bully others who are in their way. Now I'd totally understand if I was blocking you in the fast lane, but this is the middle lane I'm talking about. Is driving at 90 km/h in the middle lane wrong nowadays? And what's the point of speeding on KL roads anyways when cars are bumper-to-bumper nearly all the time.

And also what's with all the bullying? What results will it achieve by 'menghimpit' another person's car? If you bump my car won't it leave scratches on both our cars? Or have you somehow magically developed an invisible force field around your car? Nak letak force field around your car? Takat bawak wira je baik tak payah la brader.

Sumpah, if I was Superman I'll pick up that dude's car and hurl it with all my strength. Dah nak speed sangat. Hah, amik kau!

Being a girl driver in KL is challenging enough but to be bullied even further just because I drive a smaller car is simply heinous. Do realise that no matter how big of a car you have if you langgar pokok, remuk jugak. If habis minyak, stranded jugak. If every individual is judged solely on the basis o0f car size then might as well people start driving the monster trucks. Better yet, the army tank. Nobody will mess with you then.

I vow someday my little viva will be equipped like this. Berani ko nak buli?

Be my Guess.

Can you spot what is wrong with this picture?

And to think this came from a local International university that prides itself on its English. Hampeh!

Sex Explained By Pens

I got this from Buzzfeed.com and it had me laughing my head off. And since laughter is the best medicine for pretty much anything, I thought I'd share it with you lovely people. Enjoy :D

Pederasty or paederasty (US: /ˈpɛdəræsti/, UK: /ˈpiːdəræsti/) is a (usually erotic) relationship between an older man and an adolescent boy outside his immediate family.

*I had to google this because I had no clue what it meant. Buat malu je jadi cikgu bahasa omputih.

Eww, so the "hentai" wan?

Hentai is Japanese for pervert. And pervert is a great description of most Malay minds. Male & female alike. No exceptions. Mad at that statement? Why would you be? Unless you are one. A hentai, that is ;)

Today, I witnessed another display of Malay hentai-ism during a Mak Yong theater. Yes, you heard right. Hentai-ism during a Mak Yong theater at Istana Budaya. Throughout the entire show, the biggest response came only after corny, porno jokes were told. Not after a beautiful display of Mak yong dancing nor during an intense fight scene nor even after a touching, reunion scene between a long-lost mother and son. During these times the audience were either yawning away or anticipating when the actor will say 'pele' (Penis in Kelantanese dialect) again.

And of course to add insult to injury they just had to throw in a cross-dressing pondan dayang into the mix. These kind of things really makes one wonder if Malay theater can actually survive if they omitted sexual jokes and softy mak nyah from the plots. Seriously, I even heard some guys reviewing the play based on the porno jokes and the pondan element alone. Forget the fact that it was a play to promote Mak Yong. Apparently porno jokes were more important. I'm guessing that these were the same guys who wolf-whistled and hooted when an actor had to embrace an actress. It wasn't even a proper hug. And yet they made such a ruckus. It was bloody humiliating. And it seems like I was not the only ones who felt this way. Several Mat Sallehs came for the show as well and they were actually looking around and shaking their heads when these "moments" happened.

Will there ever be a time when Malays can actually show 'depth' through their mindset. Or is it just wishful thinking on my part since we Malaysians are conditioned to act and think this way. I don't know. What do you think?

Welcome to Bootcamp, maggots!!

Before any of you start freaking out and think "OMG!! Shan joined the army!", I didn't. Join the army that is. But I did, for support of my dear friend Sheena and also due to my WTH-might-as-well-try-it syndrome, join a one hour intense exercise bootcamp.

And boy am I feeling the burn!

The video is nothing compared to the exercises that we actually had to do that day. I'm talking about nonstop push-ups, sit-ups, jumping jacks, squat pulses, jackknives, and a whole load of running. Not to mention a continuous flipping of a 30kg tractor wheel across the field. I'm guessing The Star probably edited out all the "good" parts so people would actually sign up. Check out this link if you really wanna see how intense the training can be: Bootcamp promotional video. Seriously, the intensity level was through the roof. I was already panting away right after warm-ups. And to think Sheena said that session was mild. Mild is a brisk walk around my apartment complex. Lifting up heavy bags of sand and running around a field with it is NOT mild.

But as the beautifully fit and oh-so-handsome trainer in the video said the bootcamp is great for those who wish to lose weight fast. And for anyone who wishes to raise their stamina level. But forget it if you're one of those people who cares about getting mud in your nails or mind being around sweaty people because throughout my hour there, I was up to my elbows in mud, grime and god knows whatever filth. It'll get in your nails, hair, face, shoes and even your underwear. Sweat? Please... horses sweat less than we did that day.

Bootcamp Malaysia Bring-a-Friend Day survivors. Woohoo!

So the all important question, would I ever I sign up for this crazy exercise bootcamp? Probably. But only when I'm desperate enough to lose weight. Like maybe a couple of months before my wedding. I'll definitely look fantastic during the wedding but will probably be too tired out to actually enjoy my "first" night. Hehe... kesian my future husband :P

Check out this website if you're interested to know more about the Bootcamp: Bootcamp Malaysia.

So now if you'll excuse me, I need to go rub some deep-heat balm on my aching muscles. My muscles ache so good.

I'm not a sadist. Really!

Who would've thought that a couple of videos on World War 1 would actually make my students cry. Never did I realise that I had some pure, innocent souls that would actually be touched by the sheer intensity of WW1 footage. Why would I when I myself is a far cry from being innocent. My heart is now an unfeeling stone that nothing beyond outright torture and mutilation would elicit any sort of response from me.

Do I feel bad for making them cry? Of course!

But did I get satisfaction from seeing them cry? Hmm... erm, yeah.

Now before you all start hurling stones at me please allow me to explain myself. Contrary to what I just said I do not derive satisfaction from another person's misery. This satisfaction is simply because I knew that somehow my efforts have paid off. Through their tears I now know that my students have finally understood the full impact WW1 had on people. And they cry because they now know why the war poets wrote dark, depressing war poems.

VIDEO 1: The Horrors of War.

I showed them this video simply because it had footage on how the battles were fought in WW1. Imagine, at the tender age of 18 you are required to go to war not knowing what to expect. World War 1 was the first war with modern weapons. Technological advancement in warfare resulted in approximately 16 million lives lost.

Video 2: Shell Shock

This is probably the more gruesome out of the two videos and is probably the reason tears started falling. This video simply shows the physical and psychological trauma that surviving soldiers had to go through because of the war. WARNING!! It is not for the faint-hearted. So approach the play button with caution.

However despite the depressing outcome of the class, I really relished class that day. The students now can probably relate better to the theme of war atrocities. And hopefully as a result of that they'll now have a much critical view on war. Peace has now become a commodity. Owned only by those with more money and bigger guns.

As for myself, what I got out if it is the fact that I have managed to draw-out a different kind of response other than the customary 'blur' look that most of my students usually have on. That in itself is a major accomplishment :P

Gus Fraba...

I will permit no man to narrow and degrade my soul by making me hate him.

~ Booker T. Washington ~

I need to memorize this. I'll do whatever it takes; drink it, eat it, hit it, beat it, keep it, stamp it, kick it, kiss it, lick it.

Anything!

Short of writing it in permanent marker across my forehead I need to make sure that NOBODY, and I really mean NOBODY is worth this much aggravation.

What's aggravating me?

Brown-nosers. Lowlifes that has no purpose in life except sucking up to people who they think has the power. They have their noses so far up another person's backside that you'd think the other person is growing another set of legs.

Tattle-tales. Scumbags that goes orgasmic by the thought of passing on gossip and tidbits to people who they think are in power. They further experience multiple orgasm when the gossip creates trouble for others.

Busybodies. Losers that has no life of their own thus they busy themselves in other people's business. Never have they realised that they are unwanted, unwelcomed and unlikeable.

*deep breath* Gus Fraba.... Gus Fraba...

But its okay. I AM the better (wo)man here. I WILL take the high road. And I shall NOT permit these contemptible deadbeats to degrade my soul by hating them.

I shall not hate them. I shall NOT hate them.

Well... maybe not that much.

Glee + Geek = GLEEK!!

Okay its official. I am now a die hard Glee fan. I LOVE LOVE LOVE the show. I have their songs playing on loop! Putting aside the fact that I am a sucker for musicals I think this is one of the funniest and entertaining shows EVER. The day that Glee stops airing shall be the day that I shall flood the world with tears and hurl myself off the cliff of loneliness and despair.

Yes, I love it THAT much.

This is how much of a 'Gleek' I am.

Don't know the show? Read up on what Glee is all about here. Starworld on ASTRO will be airing the show soon so Malaysia, please, please, please tune in. You ain't got nothing to lose by it. Here's a preview on what you'll see on the show.

*APPLAUSE*

Tolonglah, sila tonton rancangan ini.

Out with the old, On with the new

Ring out the old, ring in the new,
Ring, happy bells, across the snow:
The year is going, let him go;
Ring out the false, ring in the true.

~Alfred, Lord Tennyson, 1850~


My Prayer

My health.

My family.

My friends.

My life.

These are the things I am grateful for. And these are the things I am hoping for. Dear God, I ask for nothing more. And I ask for nothing less. Take care of me in 2010 as you have taken care of me in 2009 for it is because of you that I live, and it shall be because of you that I die.

Amin.