Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Life at home...

Life at home is so simple... so mundane... so predictable... so BORING! I know that I'm definitely not the type to stay at home for hours on end and do the simple things that housewives do all day. I'm just not cut out for that. It's only been a week and I'm already at my wits ends!

Though... I have to admit that it's a great time for me to reflect on some stuff. Stuff that's been bothering me but I decided to push aside due to other stuff. I've been thinking a lot about life (typical), my future (blah!) friends, relationships and family. But mostly about the things that has happened in the past that I just knew about all because I was either too ignorant to notice or people have done a great job to cover their tracks, or people have been doing their best to keep things secret from me (though I seriously doubt that).

I've found out that people would lie and set up their own friends just so that they'd get a passing mark in BM. I got to know people who are so bored with their life that they'd do horrifically insane stuff without even considering what's gonna happen and what the world might say. Though not caring about what the world thinks is a good thing but I think there's a limit to that, don't you think. It's just amazing that all these things have been happening around me, right under my very nose, to the people close to me and yet I haven't a clue about them. So at home... I think, think, and think again. Would it make a difference if I knew? Hmm...

I once said to Matt that the 3 weeks break is somewhat welcomed because it'll give me time to reflect about the relationship... well... I think I'm sticking by what said (sorry Stranger). It's nice to have time on your own. Sort out emotions and think things thouroughly without interference. It's also a time when I can build up my feeling either for Matt, my friends, family, life and even for the world. I just wish that in the future these kind of breaks are still available to me. I'll probably go insane without. Ironic huh? I just said that I'll probably go insane with too much time on my hands. Well...that's me a head full of ironies and a body full of contradictions.

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