When you're hurting...

Sometimes you just don't realise how much something or someone has hurt you until one day you look back and all of a sudden the hurt and the pain all comes back in one big wave and you're left all vulnerable again.

When that happens you just can't help but feel helpless and betrayed. Sadness overwhelms you and you start to question why did it have to happen in the first place. Why weren't you given a second chance like other people. But most of all you question why must it happen to you fro the people that you trusted most. People that you depended on. People that you love.

Sometimes ignorance is bliss. If only I stayed away from what was blatantly obvious. I was just looking for trouble. I knew what would've happened if I entered into forein grounds without a clue of what lays in front of me. So because of that I'm hurting again.

So WHO can you count on? WHO can you trust? On WHOM should I depend?

This is a poem written by Kaled which somewhat summerises what I feel. I hope you don't mind Kaled. I really like your work!

Sometimes
by Khaled Redza

sometimes
i'm just wondering to myself
why would i be remembering
all the things that i don't want to remember?

sometimes
i'm just looking over my past
and saw myself as incompetent person
unfriendly and can't be trusted.
is it a sin?

sometimes
i felt like a jerk
i want to shout to the world
how jerk i am
but i felt loss of words already
when i asked myself again,
"how do i know that i am a jerk?"

sometimes
i just want to hate myself
for what i am
but then again,
who's gonna love me if i hate myself?

sometimes
with all the burden in my mind
it's a wonder that
i can still survive the night
maybe it's not my time yet
but, who knows?

people can hate me
people can despise me
people can spit on me
people can curse me
people can isolate me

i'm not in a desperate mood to have a company anyway....
do all you like, whatever and whenever...

as long as you don't break my golden rule...

IF I DON'T DISTURB YOU, THEN DON'T DISTURB ME!