Thursday, April 15, 2010

Siapa suka kutuk mengutuk? Anonymous!!


Blogpost ini sempena meraikan kali pertama Shan Aziz menerima komen 'anonymous'. Setelah bertahun-tahun menjadi blogger akhirnya si anonymous sudi meninggalkan sepatah dua kata. Komen anonymous ni bukan sebarang komen ye, ini komen anonymous yang telah mengutuk diri kerdil ini 'perasan'. Adakah Shan Aziz perasan? Iye. Kadang-kadang saya ni memang perasan jugak orangnya. Tapi rasanya takdelah lebih-lebih sangat. Kalau orang perasan sedar yang diri dia perasan maka dapatlah dia meng-'kontrol' keperasanan diri dia sendiri. Tapi kalau orang yang perasan tak sedar yang dia tu perasan... haih parah situasi tu.

Persoalannya sekarang, kenapa perlu meng-anonymouskan diri sendiri? Saya rasa kalau nak beri kutukan kritikan membina ataupun sekadar ingin menegur, apa salahnya memperkenalkan diri sendiri. Kadang-kadang ada juga isu yang membuatkan ramai warga-warga anonymous ni semua bergaduh sesama sendiri. Sampai naik konfius nak baca semua komen. Ada juga situasi di mana warga-warga anonymous ni berdebat sesama sendiri sampaikan orang lain boleh tahu identiti masing-masing. Kalau cam gitu, baik tak payah jadi anonymous. Itu sudah famous.

Tapi takpelah, mungkin warga anonymous itu semua tak gila glamer. Low profile la katakan. Cuma eloklah kalau kita semua ambil iktibar dari pepatah omputih ni,

"If you have nothing nice to say, then don't say anything at all."

Tak macho aaa jadi anonymous.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

If your life was made into a movie, who would play you?

Inspired by post from a friend and fellow blogger, Azreen, I've been curious ever since to find out which actor/actress/superhero/wrestler/politician/supervillain/cartoon character etc. would you want to potray 'you' in a movie. Leave your choices in the comment box kay :)

Me? Hands down its America Ferrara. Coz she looks like me :D

Sama kan? kan? kan?

So come on folks, sit back and let someone else play your life.

Friday, April 09, 2010

And IIUM shall be proud...

Remember the entry 'Be my Guess?'. I'm 'guest'-ing that entry really cracked most of you up. And since I have been in desperate need of cheering up of late, I've decided to share more funny liners that my friends and I have spotted throughout IIUM during our study years. If IIUM were to find out about this post I'll probably be in deep sh*t.

But what the heck. Onwards with the funnies!


Taken from a 'Go Green' poster

This is neither British nor American spelling. Please note wriggly red line whenever you type something. It's wriggly & red for a reason.


Taken from IIUM PC Fair

"Promote! Promote! 1 day only. If you don't come now I cannot promote you. "
(Also note that 's' has somehow disappeared from 'unit'. Ashamed to be in the same poster as 'special promote' perhaps?)


Taken from an IIUM Bazaar

The word makan in inverted commas suggests so many different meanings for those with the "imaginative" minds. Give a teen an opportunity and they'll amaze you with his/her perverseness.


Taken from an ad in IIUM

Never mind all the grammatical mistakes. Concentrate on "Are you 'in' Harry?" *LoL* I told you, give any opportunity for perverseness and it shall happen.


Taken from a poster in IIUM

Anybody care to sign up? Tools needed for the workshop: long trench coat, dark sunglasses, cap and running shoes.


Taken from a 'Maintain Cleanliness' poster in IIUM

Decoy (taken from Oxford Dictionary):

1. a bird or mammal, or an imitation of one, used to lure game.
2. a person or thing used to mislead or lure someone into a trap.
3. a pond from which narrow netted channels lead, into which wild duck may be enticed for capture.

So are we supposed to use a bird/ mammal to clean as we go? Or mislead someone when we want to clean? Or perhaps jump into a pond full of ducks after we clean? Hmmm...


Taken from a sign at one of the IIUM cafetarias

To check if you are a male, you must ensure that you have extra hanging appendages in between your crotch. If in doubt please do not hesitate to ask the nearest persons next to you. If in further doubt please go to the nearest administration office and drop your pants for further clarification.

So there you go folks. Hope you all had a good laugh. And please don't hesitate to point out further funny liners if ever you see one. We all could always do with a good laugh or two :)

*pics courtesy of Zetty Amny. She and I had plenty of good laughs over these few pictures .*

Wednesday, April 07, 2010

Saya innocent, encik. Betul!!

Tarikh: Isnin, 5 April 2010
Lokasi: Simpang dari UIA menuju cabang Ampang (MRR2)/KL (Karak) di highway.
Masa: 9.30pm
Situasi: gelap-gelita

Mr. JayPeeJay: Awak terkejut ke saya suruh awak berhenti?

Shan: Agak ah (mata bulat ketakutan, muka pucat lesi sambil tangan menggenggam erat stereng kereta. Kesan genggaman itu masih lagi berada di stereng kereta sampai sekarang.)

Mr. JayPeeJay: Cermin kereta awak ni gelap ni.

Shan: heh? (mata kini bulat kebingungan)

Mr. JayPeeJay: Awak buat semua cermin ke? (dia mengeluarkan lampu suluh dan menyuluh kesemua cermin kereta. Muka serius je).

Shan: haaa?! (sekarang mulut pula ternganga luas. Alhamdulillah kawasan tu takde serangga2 terbang.)

Mr. JayPeeJay: Bila awak buat cermin ni?

Shan: T..tak buat pape pun encik. Apa yang saya dapat t.. time beli kereta ni, n... ni je lah. (haih... gagap la pulak)

Mr. JayPeeJay: Betul ke ni?

Saya: (mata semakin bulat) B... betul encik. Saya ni mana tahu sangat bab2 kereta ni (butiran peluh sejuk mula berkumpul di dahi)

Mr. JayPeeJay:: Macam susah nak percaya je...

Saya: B..b betul encik. Saya memang tak buat pape. Kalau tak percaya boleh telefon mak saya (terus keluarkan handphone dan dail nombor mak.)

Mr. JayPeeJay: Eh. Tak payah... tak payah. (Dia belek2 cermin lagi. Lepas tu dia pandang muka saya. Saya pun pandang balik muka dia).

5 minit berlalu.

Mr. JayPeeJay: Cermin ni gelap ni. Awak kene pergi check kat JPJ.

Shan: Okay, okay. Saya pergi check.

Mr. JayPeeJay: Kalau betul gelap awak kena bayar denda.

Shan: Hah? Ye ke? Okay, okay saya pergi check.

Mr. JayPeeJay: (geleng kepala) Haih... okaylah. Awak pegi baliklah.

Shan: Boleh balik eh? Okthanksbye. (tanpa ragu2 terus tekan minyak dan blah)

2 jam kemudian.

Shan: (tengah baring2 tiba2 terbangun) Laaa... dia nak aku hulur duit ke?


Inilah alkisah seorang perempuan lurus bendul yang tak pernah kena tahan polis/ JPJ. Kadangkala lurus bendul tu ada hikmahnya juga ye.

Sunday, April 04, 2010

Now why didn't I think of that?

Now I know how to kill time when my mum drags me shopping :P

Saturday, April 03, 2010

Facebook... literally.

Disturbingly Awesome

Lemme know if you get nightmares.

Thursday, April 01, 2010

Happy 25th Birthday! Wait se minit. 25? Again?


To all April Fool's baby,

I dedicate this video to you so that you'll all start your birthday depressed and suicidal. So when your friends play crappy jokes and mean pranks on your special day, your mood can't get any worse. To any of you planning April Fool's jokes on me, I swear I'll unleash the power of 'It', the clown, on you.

And yes, I'm 25 again this year.


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