'Putra' the Musical

Catch 'Putra' the musical at Panggung Sari, Istana Budaya starting from 24th August til 28th August 2007.

Tickets are only RM10.

Main Actors:

Jalalludin Hassan

Vanida Imran

Mazlan Tahir

Man Bai

Iqbal

Ebby Yus

Azizan Mahzan

and special appearance from IIUM students ;)

Cradle SNatcher

I am no cradle snatcher!!

Just because I used to date a younger guy does not mean I only go for younger men!!

I am no pedophile!! Aarggh!!

A lifetime of teasing and being poked fun of just because of a blip in history. GAWD!! He was only 2 years younger I tell you!! Not 16!

When will the teasing end? When will their "fun" stop?

Seriously... I'm looking for an older man now. I am... I am...

Someone... please get me an older man...

Colour Mix

What is up with all the colour discrimination? A person can't be friends with another member of the opposite sex who is coincidentally another shade of skin colour altogether without being thought of by their women as "stealing their men" anymore? Gawd... Who wrote these rules?
I've seen people from two opposite ends of the earth living together in perfect harmony. So yeah I feel that the colour of your skin has nothing to do with your will to be happy.

With this really positive outlook in life, my girl friend, another mixed-match person, I went out for drinks with some guys who were working with us on a project. They were foreigners. We had a blast. They were nice people. Language confusion was a great joke between us and it was damn refreshing to actually go out with a couple of guys who engages in mild flirtation but expects nothing more from us whatsoever. All harmless fun.

Unfortunately we had to bump with the female equivalents of their race. With them was another of the guys that we worked with and is it our fault that the guy chose to come over and hang with us instead of staying and hanging out with them. We can't help ourselves from being cool (;P). So yeah... probably because of that move, and also probably because we were with the other guys before that, we were given the evil eye by the girls. Oh, Come on... what's with the dagger stares? None of them were in a relationship with any of the girls and neither of us were interested to be in one with any of guys. Sheesh...

Apparently, we were considered moving onto their turf. My friend, who had experiences dating foreigners, explains that these people (not all, but most of them) just can't accept the colour difference. To them their men is only for them. Seriously... what the hell? Is this a result of mass insecurity that is unique to a every race? Do these women actually feel threatened by the appearance of girls of different race in their social scene? Are they afraid that their men would start prefering women of another colour? Gawd... So juvenile. I mean those girls were HOT. Probably way hotter than we were and yet they feel threatened by just the colour of our skin?!
It's pretty amusing watching them watch our every move. But what the heck. We've always been people who pretty much did what we liked and not care what others say. But I wouldn't be suprised to hear rumours within their community that we're a couple of sluts. It happens. I should probably give them something real to talk about and actually steal one of their men. That'll teach them. But nah... the gratification I'm getting out of that probably wouldn't be as satisfying. Haha...

I'm just wondering if I'll ever see the day that this idiotic notion about race mixing will ever go away. It's simply irritating and juvenile. Probably won't happen in my lifetime though. I just wanna enjoy a cup of coffee with a bunch of really cool guys after a hard day's work. Is that really so much to ask?!

Second best...

Being second best sucks. I mean who would wanna be in that position. Being second best is virtually like being non-existant. In a race, who would remember the person who got to the finish line second. It's either the winner who'll get all the attention or the poor guy who finished last cause even though he didn't win he tried his best and finished the race anyways. But what about all the guys in-between? They deserve some praise too!

Right now, in real life, I'm constantly second best. I don't know how or why but I'm constantly the number two person. No matter what I do it pales in comparison with the efforts of another. And what sucks even more is that the other person is an extremely close friend. So what can I do? What I'm going through is one of those dillemas that testifies real life is shitty.
It's natural that being second best most of my efforts go unnoticed. Or sometimes the things that I do is attributed to the other. It happens all the time. But seriously what can I do? What can I say?

My only defence mechanism is to laugh it off. Make a joke about it. Make it seem that it doesn't bother me but somehow deep down it still does. Is it jealousy? Envy? I guess so. But I think it's deeper than that. Though I'm not really sure what it is exactly.

Why is it that I'm invisible? Why is it that people just doesn't seem to see me? Are people really that shallow to not see the obvious when we are together? We all have our strengths but are mine so miniscule that it's instantly overshadowed by mere physical appearance? I'm just surprised that my self-esteem was actually strong enough to actually withstand these assaults every day. And somehow I haven't crumbled with all the pressure. I think other girls would probably go anorexic with the things that I have to go through.

I'm not ranting away out of frustration while in reality I'm sitting back and letting things happen. My will to be noticed, to make my efforts known are doubled. It is not surprising that I've been labelled as the aggressive one coz that's what I have to resort to make people sit up and listen. I work doubly hard for something that comes easily to another. It's not fair but that's the way life is.

These efforts are still not enough though. I'm still second best. I'm still the shadow. I'm still the posse.

Is physical change the answer? Is that what it takes nowadays? Shallowness is the deciding factor for a person's success? Must I stoop to the point of shallowness just to make it in life? Is that what I have to do to be the best?

Maybe it is...