In pain...

I was overcomed with powerful feelings a while ago. And it was a feeling that I should not indulge in right now. Not when I'm trying to make myself strong. When things are fragile and may or may not depend on how I handle myself right now.

Overcoming strong urges is harder than it sounds. Especially for a impulsive, tempestuous person like me. It'll sap all your strength.

And I'm losing in that battle...

Lately I've been reckless. Been feeling like I dont give a shit. Like life has no meaning anymore. The things I do is useless and that I'm wasting my time.

I just feel like dropping it all...

I don't care anymore...

*sigh* I don't have the luxury...

It's amazing the strength that some people have. Not physically but mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I am weak in all these aspects. Don't really know how to be stronger. "All is well with the world!" I tell others, but inside I'm a mess. I'm breaking apart. It's a wonder that I'm still in one piece.

Why do we put so much effort into things that you're not sure it will last? When you're not guaranteed of happinness and security? Why do we put so much effort in life? It baffles me really when all that life has to offer is pain.

Pain...

A constant fixture in our journey towards the end. It's no suprise that people decide to take matters in their own hands. Why endure it? The constant pain. Maybe it is a good idea to just end it all.

Stop all that pain...