FROM LOVERS to FRIENDS

FROM LOVERS to FRIENDS

I got this article from a really cool blog that I read. Yeah... so I'm ripping off somebody else's blog but at least I'm not saying that it's mine. Thing is what the article is all about is exactly the thing that has been running through my head these last few months. Yes... I'm still in my post break-up mode but I'm getting better *fingers crossed behind back*. No seriously... I am *fingers still crossed*.

Oh-Kay... back to the article. After experiencing something that I do not wish any good-hearted citizens of the world to experience I've come to a conclusion that sometimes it's better to let sleeping dogs lie. Why stir things up and make the water murkier (Can u guys get me?) . In other words, maybe an ex is not a good candidate for a friend.

Heck... just read the article and you'll know what I mean.

In many relationships that don't end in marriage (well actually even then), there usually is a time when you have to say "hasta la vista baby." the two of you have shared memories together that when you look back upon, you will either laugh or cry. but whatever that memory might be, once a relationship ends, it's time to say "thanks" or "no thanks" for everything and move on.
But somewhere along the line, there's always the "let's remain friends" compromise to many breakups. it's the much gentler way of saying, "hey, you're not that bad. it's not you. it's me. but look, i still want to be friends with you." *smile* the question that my friends and i discuss a lot is:

Can you be good friends with your ex?

Ok. let's face it. whenever there's a breakup, it's usually never mutual. usually one person is the one that causes or initiates the breakup and is labeled "heartbreaker", while the other person is left hurting and dwelling on the breakup for weeks on end. ok. i admit. even the heartbreaker could hurt too, but usually the one who initiated the breakup moves on faster than the one who didn't.

After having meditated and burned incense on this question, my friends and i have come to the conclusion that NO, it's very rare for many people to become truly good friends with their ex's.

Take me for example. although my ex and i agreed that we would be good friends, we're really not. sure, i get a greeting on my birthday and during the holidays and i just greeted him on his birthday, but those are about the only times we communicate. and i actually prefer it this way. i'm sure he and his wife now does too.

However, i have a friend whose boyfriend and his ex have become best friends instead. whoa! yes. it's true. it can be done. but, when your ex is your best friend and you tell your best friend things about your current relationship, hmm, you could land yourself in a heap of mess.
so why can't ex's remain friends?

here's some reasons i've read on why the can't:

1. There's always a heartbreaker and the heartbreakee. same as mentioned above.

2. You know what they look like underneath all those clothes. you've seen each other naked. whenever you smell their special perfume or cologne, or whenever you hear music that was special to the both of you, you're always going to remember that person and the things you used to do together ( ie, make love, make-out, etc)

3. You can't divulge intimate details about your current relationship to your ex. it would just be wrong for you to tell your ex you just had the greatest sex of your life with someone else.

4. Bitterness comes into play. an ex can pretend to be a friend, but deep down they'd rather see you and your current partner dead (jk). me - actually this is kinda true ;P (jk)

5. Jealousy. seriously - who really likes seeing their ex being lovey dovey with someone else anyway?

Taken from http://daphne.blogs.friendster.com (Thanks Daphne!)

When I think about it... It's hard thinking that my ex will no longer be in my life. He was a good friend. But as much as I hate losing my ex, I just dont think us being friends is gonna help out with me moving on with my life. Why torture myself seeing him be happy with another girl while I could do the same thing with another guy? Life is short, it's just not worth wasting time dwelling on the past.

Maybe someday we can become friends but perhaps another 10 years or so. Or at least until I'm no longer wishing them to be hit by a bus or something. Hahaha! Joking... seriously just joking.

p.s. Happy Friday the 13th. Muahahaha!!

Me... A blogger?

For somebody who claims herself as a blogger, I must be an embarassment to the whole blogging society. I mean my average blogs nowadays are like oner per month? And that's only if I'm suddenly hit with an inspiration thunderbolt. If not all you'd see on my blog are cobwebs. (can you hear crickets? I can...)

So what happened? Did I fall off a building? (Obviously not since I'm still typing this, or else it'll be spooky. Hehe) Or did I just simply forget how to blog?

Answer... none of the above. I haven't been blogging simply because my life is BORING! All I do is go to class, go to my room, go to work (Oh, this may be an interesting aspect in my life... I am now working with Sheena at IIMU. Still waiting for my first paycheck. BILA NAK MASUK?!) , and of course study, study, study. Aint nothing much to say about that sorry routine.

So now I'm at home for my long deserved break. And of course my routine here is get up late, cook, and waste time. So there you go... my never-ending thrills for the day *Yawn*. I just don't feel like readers out there deserved to be bored to death by my simple ephitet of what I dd for the day. Although internet voyeurism is IN nowadays but I still feel like I need some stuff to give voyeurs something to drool about. Rite?

So why am I blogging now? Hehe, just because...

Actually I miss blogging. There's been some good news going on in my life and I feel like sharing it. Some of my friends got engaged or married. Congrats Adry... Kuhen. You two will make lovely wives to your loved one. I couldn't attend Kuhen's wedding but I heard it was beautiful. Kuhen... you're so lucky. *sob* Ada lagi ke orang cam Abe We kat dunia ni? *praying really hard*

As for Adry... she just got engaged. Who knew she would be among the first among us to get on the marital bandwagon. Oh well... why stop a good thing right? I was actually one of her 'dulang girls'. Wasn't something that I was expecting to do but what the heck... she's a friend. And thanks to our hot Gucci Mama, Tiah, her hantaran was gorgeous and the 'petunang' (is there such a word?) was really pretty.

I did this! I did this!

And all the pretty 'dulang girls' in a row

Tiah was practically a one woman wonder. She did all of Andry's hantaran and even Adry's makeup. I helped with the roses in her hair. That's why I photoshopped the picture *So proud! Heck... My first time photoshopping, ok*. All I can say now is I'm proud of lil' Adry. She came a long way and have been through a lot to get this far. And kudos to her coz she never stopped trying. She never gave up. *SOB* Man... I hate getting sentimental.

I also heard that my old roommate, Has, is getting maried soon and also Anis Suhaidalisa, another one of my roommates is geting engaged. I guess it's time. You can't run away from all this marriage stuff no matter how much you try. *sigh* And because of that I hafta prepare myself for the INEVITABLE question, *bracing self* "Awak bila pulak?" Aarrgghh...

So life starts anew for some of my friends. For Adry, Kuhan, Has, Midge... oh yeah, Midge got herself a new job and a place of her own. She's all grown up now. I'm glad... I feel like a mother bird watching her baby take off on her first flight. *SOB* OMG here I go again. Heck, I should feel this way... she practically lived with me for a whole month before she got the job. How time flies...

I'm still in my student mode. Feels like I'm way behind sometimes but I feel it's worth doing what I'm doing now. I'm sure it will be. *determined*

Thesis time is upon me! I hafta persevere! Gambate!

p.s. I love this picture. Who knows when we might get together like this again. (Although I'm hoping this May *wishing hard*). Sheena and Fynn competed in a Poetry Slam. Something like a one-day Akademi Fantasia for poets. Though they didn't win but they did us proud! We missed their performance (drat!) even though we tried to make it there on time after Adry's engagement but we all had fun afterwards hanging out. We're such a fun eclectic group (Me, Nina, Midge and Anne in our baju kurung while Cass, Sheena and Angel in their sexy get up. Woohoo! Very eclectic I must say) that a 'Mat Salleh' actually came and took our picture. Haha! Takpe... The time for us to hang out shall cometh again, my friends!

p.s. again. I was 25 last April 1st!! OMG I'm officially a quater of century old. Wahlau! Neways thanks so much to all my pals especially Anne, Midge and Julie for the GORGEOUS "Coach" bag, Sheena for my cute and lovely clutch and K-Rul for making that day a special one for me. I love u guys so much. Muahs!

*I got a Sony Ericsson MP3 phone. Yeay!*