Dilemma Orang Melayu

One Malaysia is a myth?

Kenapa agaknya orang Melayu selalu dikaitkan dengan kerja kerajaan? Orang Cina pula mesti jadi businessman and orang India jadi peguam atau doktor. Adakah itu satu kemestian jikalau kita dilahirkan sebagai seorang Malaysian?

Tak lama dulu aku diterima bekerja di sebuah syarikat swasta. Syarikat itu milik seorang warganegara Australia yang dah menjadi penduduk tetap Malaysia. Walaupun aku 'excited' dapat masuk syarikat tu tapi tak sangka la pulak ramai yang memberi respon negatif dan memberi amaran agar berjaga-jaga. Kata mereka sektor swasta ni susah lebih-lebih lagi jika boss bukan orang Melayu. Ramai berpendapat kalau nak kerja senang, mesti cari syarikat yang majoriti pekerjanya sama kaum dengan kamu. Pada pendapat aku, pemikiran begini macam ada unsur-unsur perkauman je. Setiap bangsa seolah-olah dikategorikan dengan perangai tertentu maka kaum berlainan tak boleh 'ngam'. Tak boleh bekerjasama.

Yang paling mengecewakan apabila majoriti yang berpendapat begini adalah orang Melayu. Ramai yang sanggup menolak peluang pekerjaan yang lebih elok semata-mata ingin mengelak daripada bekerja dengan orang berlainan kaum. Jika ditanya kenapa meraka berbuat demikian, semua memberi alasan mendengar terlalu banyak 'horror story' mengenai bekerja dengan mereka yang berlainan kaum. Inilah orang Melayu kita, baru dengar 'horror story' je dah give up terus. Jikalau korang give-up lepas korang cuba bekerja kat situ, itu lain cerita. Ini cuba pun tidak, tapi dah give up awal-awal. Isk... isk... isk...

Tapi takleh nak salahkan orang Melayu je. Kaum lain pun selalu juga bertanggapan negatif kat orang Melayu. Ramai boss-boss bukan Melayu yang tak suka mengambil pekerja Melayu. Pada pandangan diorang pekerja Melayu adalah pemalas dan tak boleh diharap. Sesetangah syarikat swasta hanya mengambil pekerja Melayu kerana perlu memenuhkan kuota pekerja bumiputera. Jika diberi peluang mereka langsung tak nak mengambil pekerja Melayu. My supervisor secara terang-terangan mengaku yang dia berfikir 2-3 kali bila kena interview orang Melayu. Bukan kerana dia tak suka orang Melayu tapi disebabkan reputasi orang Melayu yang konon-kononnya pemalas dan tak suka cabaran dalam pekerjaan. Nasib baik juga aku berjaya meyakinkan dia yang aku bukan orang sebegitu, jadi aku pun dapat la kerja tu. Tapi bayangkanlah situasi interview di mana kedua-dua pihak, majikan dan pekerja, masing-masing ada tanggapan negatif terhadap pihak yang satu lagi tu. Macam mana nak bekerjasama kalau dari awal lagi dah takde kepercayaan langsung.

Sampai bila la rakyat Malaysia nak hidup dalam stereotaip negatif ni. Kalau pekerjaan setiap individu dah ditentukan buat apa ajar anak-anak Malaysia untuk ada cita-cita. Baik cakap je terus "Aiman, nanti bila dah besar nanti takleh kerja selain daripada kerja kerajaan tau. Kena kerja situ sebab orang Melayu semua kerja situ." Rasanya dia akan jawab "Aiman tak kisah" tak?

Konklusinya setiap orang ada kehebatan tersendiri. Jadi tak kiralah bangsa apa pun orang tu, peluang mestilah diberi tanpa sebarang prejudis. Walaupun aku seorang berbangsa Melayu, namun aku bukan hak milik kerajaan.

For once I wanna be ugly

Please click on image to enlarge

DAILY DRIVING PET PEEVES…

1. Driving behind a guy who’s in no big hurry for anything, so he drives like ten km per hour.

2. People who don't wait their turn and squeeze their way into a turning/ junction

3. Tailgaters and High Beamers.

4. People who honks at every single opportunity

5. People who does not use the signal to turn.

What are some of your driving pet peeves?

It ain't nice to be nice?

I'm suddenly hit by this sudden urge to expand on the topic of 'niceness' from my previous post. These questions keeps going going round and round in my head. Is niceness truly overrated nowadays? Is it old-fashioned? Has it become redundant?

I don't see that many people giving up their seats on the LRT anymore nor do I see people helping out a neighbour who's moving out. People in trouble are now entertainment where its fun to gawk at their difficulties.

The world today has become selfish, self-centered and indifferent. We no longer live in the days of chivalry and manners. Its every man for themselves. You snooze, you lose. Being nice is no longer a part of life. It needs to be reminded with posters and signs and even TV advertisements. It is an afterthought. Something you entertain when you have time to spare. Being nice is not considered a virtue. Merely a time filler to while away idle time and to boost up your image while you're at it. Why do you think all acts of kindness are highlighted in newspapers nowadays? Simply because true acts of kindness are rare. Why be kind or nice if you have nothing to gain from it?

I still remember my conversation with my CEO, "Shan you're too sweet. You need to be more assertive. More forceful. Then people will respect you. If you're too nice then people will walk all over you. You need to erase 'May I'... 'Can I'... 'Could you'... and 'Please'... from your vocabulary." He then proceeded to demonstrate a "professional" call. Basically it was just him bullying a poor PA into releasing her boss's telephone number. My reaction to that was whaaaa???

If niceness is like an asset only to be used when it best suits you then why teach kids to be kind in the first place. If they're just going to grow up to be cold-hearted and unfeeling then might as well teach them from the very beginning that being nice is not the best way to go. So what if they're bullies when they're just gonna grow up into bigger bullies.

But me being the oddball of the 21st century, I still believe that a little act of kindness will go a long way. To this very day I still remember and how a kind young man gave up his seat for me simply because he saw that I gave up my seat for an elderly man. If me, one little person, can propel another individual to do an act of kindness than I'm sure 10 other person can do the same.

William Wordsworth once said that "the best portion of a good man's life is his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and love". So be kind and nice people, because niceness is NOT overrated.

Chronicles of a Job Hopper pt. 1 - The Producer

Job hopping can literally suck the life out of you. I've only been at it for only a month but after going through the endless cycle of personalising resumes, interviews and adapting to new workplaces I'm literally turning into a non entity. Belonging to neither here nor there. Forgotten in a blink of an eye. So if you get the sudden urge to start job hopping, clamp down the feeling. Hard! Trust me. Don't learn the hard way.

After woefully ending my teaching stint at the university, I decided to stretch my wings and see where the winds of change would take me. The first gust of wind landed me on a surprisingly cushy job at an events management company where I'm in charge of researching and putting together business conferences. It was my first real job (outside the university that is) that if people were to ask what my designation was in the company, I'd (literally) puff up my chest proudly and say "I'm a Conference Producer". Bangga siot.

I looked forward to the job just like a fresh grad would. All this while my whole world revolved around the university but now I'm a newbie in the corporate world. The corporate world was everything that I thought it would be: exciting, fast-paced, time-oriented, business-oriented and of course money-oriented. Those people were easily excited by the sound of ka-ching! I knew that it was a dog-eat-dog world but the truth was I was way in over my head. I should've known just how tough this job could be by the number of people who had quit before I came in. One girl actually lasted for a record of 3 days before she up and left. I consider it a personal record when I actually lasted a whole month before I called it quits.

I was thrown into the job almost immediately. Everyday was a barrage of phone calls and random conversations with completely rude or brusque strangers. It was bad enough that the workload was horrendous at the office itself but the job also requires you to literally bring your work home. And at every step and every turn I took I met with constant criticism. "You're not forceful enough". "The data is crap". "You don't have enough numbers". "YOU GOTTA STOP SAYING PLEASE!!" Not only was I deemed not efficient I was also too nice. How can I be too nice? There's no such thing as being too nice. In fact, people nowadays needs to be nicer. Sheesh. Seems like humility was not welcomed in the corporate world. It was a sign of weakness. Being nice would mean you'd end up as a pushover. But seriously, what's wrong with being nice. Just because the other company is making money through harassing and bullying people does that mean you need to harass and bully people back? Where does the corporate world's integrity lie?

The cherry on top of the cake however was when the company was so nonchalant on the idea of lying. What kind of employer would actually encourage the employees to lie? Sure you need to think creatively to achieve your goals but does thinking creatively mean lying? And since when lying became a legitimate mode of business? Call me a Utopian idealist or call me stupid but I believe that a company, no matter how money minded they are, should maintain a certain amount of dignity and go about their business with honesty. I may not be the most religious person in the world but I really cant work in a company where lying is encouraged and being a bully is appreciated.

Immediate notice given. My measly things packed up. I walked out of there free and feeling as if a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. No more late nights trying to find phone numbers of strangers. No more angry yells from your CEO, or your Supervisor or from strangers on the phone. But most importantly no more lying. The only regret I had were the new friends and a thermos I left behind. The friends I dont regret leaving as much since Facebook keeps everyone connected these days but the thermos is now as good as lost. A damn good thermos it was. I'll miss it greatly.

So all you job-seeking people out there, if you ever come across a job as Conference Producer then just beware. Unless you're one of those people who loves calling up random strangers by the hundreds then just turn around and walk on by. Best to keep your sanity intact.

*Next up, the interview monster. Watch this space.

Siapa suka kutuk mengutuk? Anonymous!!

Blogpost ini sempena meraikan kali pertama Shan Aziz menerima komen 'anonymous'. Setelah bertahun-tahun menjadi blogger akhirnya si anonymous sudi meninggalkan sepatah dua kata. Komen anonymous ni bukan sebarang komen ye, ini komen anonymous yang telah mengutuk diri kerdil ini 'perasan'. Adakah Shan Aziz perasan? Iye. Kadang-kadang saya ni memang perasan jugak orangnya. Tapi rasanya takdelah lebih-lebih sangat. Kalau orang perasan sedar yang diri dia perasan maka dapatlah dia meng-'kontrol' keperasanan diri dia sendiri. Tapi kalau orang yang perasan tak sedar yang dia tu perasan... haih parah situasi tu.

Persoalannya sekarang, kenapa perlu meng-anonymouskan diri sendiri? Saya rasa kalau nak beri kutukan kritikan membina ataupun sekadar ingin menegur, apa salahnya memperkenalkan diri sendiri. Kadang-kadang ada juga isu yang membuatkan ramai warga-warga anonymous ni semua bergaduh sesama sendiri. Sampai naik konfius nak baca semua komen. Ada juga situasi di mana warga-warga anonymous ni berdebat sesama sendiri sampaikan orang lain boleh tahu identiti masing-masing. Kalau cam gitu, baik tak payah jadi anonymous. Itu sudah famous.

Tapi takpelah, mungkin warga anonymous itu semua tak gila glamer. Low profile la katakan. Cuma eloklah kalau kita semua ambil iktibar dari pepatah omputih ni,

"If you have nothing nice to say, then don't say anything at all."

Tak macho aaa jadi anonymous.

If your life was made into a movie, who would play you?

Inspired by post from a friend and fellow blogger, Azreen, I've been curious ever since to find out which actor/actress/superhero/wrestler/politician/supervillain/cartoon character etc. would you want to potray 'you' in a movie. Leave your choices in the comment box kay :)

Me? Hands down its America Ferrara. Coz she looks like me :D

Sama kan? kan? kan?

So come on folks, sit back and let someone else play your life.

And IIUM shall be proud...

Remember the entry 'Be my Guess?'. I'm 'guest'-ing that entry really cracked most of you up. And since I have been in desperate need of cheering up of late, I've decided to share more funny liners that my friends and I have spotted throughout IIUM during our study years. If IIUM were to find out about this post I'll probably be in deep sh*t.

But what the heck. Onwards with the funnies!

Taken from a 'Go Green' poster

This is neither British nor American spelling. Please note wriggly red line whenever you type something. It's wriggly & red for a reason.

Taken from IIUM PC Fair

"Promote! Promote! 1 day only. If you don't come now I cannot promote you. "

(Also note that 's' has somehow disappeared from 'unit'. Ashamed to be in the same poster as 'special promote' perhaps?)

Taken from an IIUM Bazaar

The word makan in inverted commas suggests so many different meanings for those with the "imaginative" minds. Give a teen an opportunity and they'll amaze you with his/her perverseness.

Taken from an ad in IIUM

Never mind all the grammatical mistakes. Concentrate on "Are you 'in' Harry?" *LoL* I told you, give any opportunity for perverseness and it shall happen.

Taken from a poster in IIUM

Anybody care to sign up? Tools needed for the workshop: long trench coat, dark sunglasses, cap and running shoes.

Taken from a 'Maintain Cleanliness' poster in IIUM

Decoy (taken from Oxford Dictionary):

1. a bird or mammal, or an imitation of one, used to lure game.

2. a person or thing used to mislead or lure someone into a trap.

3. a pond from which narrow netted channels lead, into which wild duck may be enticed for capture.

So are we supposed to use a bird/ mammal to clean as we go? Or mislead someone when we want to clean? Or perhaps jump into a pond full of ducks after we clean? Hmmm...

Taken from a sign at one of the IIUM cafetarias

To check if you are a male, you must ensure that you have extra hanging appendages in between your crotch. If in doubt please do not hesitate to ask the nearest persons next to you. If in further doubt please go to the nearest administration office and drop your pants for further clarification.

So there you go folks. Hope you all had a good laugh. And please don't hesitate to point out further funny liners if ever you see one. We all could always do with a good laugh or two :)

*pics courtesy of Zetty Amny. She and I had plenty of good laughs over these few pictures .*

Saya innocent, encik. Betul!!

Tarikh: Isnin, 5 April 2010

Lokasi: Simpang dari UIA menuju cabang Ampang (MRR2)/KL (Karak) di highway.

Masa: 9.30pm

Situasi: gelap-gelita

Mr. JayPeeJay: Awak terkejut ke saya suruh awak berhenti?

Shan: Agak ah (mata bulat ketakutan, muka pucat lesi sambil tangan menggenggam erat stereng kereta. Kesan genggaman itu masih lagi berada di stereng kereta sampai sekarang.)

Mr. JayPeeJay: Cermin kereta awak ni gelap ni.

Shan: heh? (mata kini bulat kebingungan)

Mr. JayPeeJay: Awak buat semua cermin ke? (dia mengeluarkan lampu suluh dan menyuluh kesemua cermin kereta. Muka serius je).

Shan: haaa?! (sekarang mulut pula ternganga luas. Alhamdulillah kawasan tu takde serangga2 terbang.)

Mr. JayPeeJay: Bila awak buat cermin ni?

Shan: T..tak buat pape pun encik. Apa yang saya dapat t.. time beli kereta ni, n... ni je lah. (haih... gagap la pulak)

Mr. JayPeeJay: Betul ke ni?

Saya: (mata semakin bulat) B... betul encik. Saya ni mana tahu sangat bab2 kereta ni (butiran peluh sejuk mula berkumpul di dahi)

Mr. JayPeeJay:: Macam susah nak percaya je...

Saya: B..b betul encik. Saya memang tak buat pape. Kalau tak percaya boleh telefon mak saya (terus keluarkan handphone dan dail nombor mak.)

Mr. JayPeeJay: Eh. Tak payah... tak payah. (Dia belek2 cermin lagi. Lepas tu dia pandang muka saya. Saya pun pandang balik muka dia).

5 minit berlalu.

Mr. JayPeeJay: Cermin ni gelap ni. Awak kene pergi check kat JPJ.

Shan: Okay, okay. Saya pergi check.

Mr. JayPeeJay: Kalau betul gelap awak kena bayar denda.

Shan: Hah? Ye ke? Okay, okay saya pergi check.

Mr. JayPeeJay: (geleng kepala) Haih... okaylah. Awak pegi baliklah.

Shan: Boleh balik eh? Okthanksbye. (tanpa ragu2 terus tekan minyak dan blah)

2 jam kemudian.

Shan: (tengah baring2 tiba2 terbangun) Laaa... dia nak aku hulur duit ke?

Inilah alkisah seorang perempuan lurus bendul yang tak pernah kena tahan polis/ JPJ. Kadangkala lurus bendul tu ada hikmahnya juga ye.

Now why didn't I think of that?

Now I know how to kill time when my mum drags me shopping :P

Facebook... literally.

Disturbingly Awesome

Lemme know if you get nightmares.

Happy 25th Birthday! Wait se minit. 25? Again?

To all April Fool's baby,

I dedicate this video to you so that you'll all start your birthday depressed and suicidal. So when your friends play crappy jokes and mean pranks on your special day, your mood can't get any worse. To any of you planning April Fool's jokes on me, I swear I'll unleash the power of 'It', the clown, on you.

And yes, I'm 25 again this year.

And the award goes to...

Whenever I bloghop I always wonder about those award icons that some people have on their blogs. I'm like "how do I get one of those? Do I enter a competition? Do I need a gazillion followers just to get one of those icons? I want one!"

Yes folks, I am one of those narcissistic people that need to feed their self-esteem constantly.

But finally! I got an award. Woohoo! My self-esteem is hitting the roof. So thanks to dear Kak Aisyah I finally have an icon to show off. Kak Aisyah, you're the best!

However as recipients of this award, I am bound to certain rules.

Rule no. 1: Accept the award. *gladly*

Rule no. 2: Write 7 stuff about myself that people should know. *Aiyoo now this is the hard part. What to write aaa?*

7 Things you should know about me.

1. I'm a Master Procrastinator. Things that I can finish off today, I can postpone till the next month. This post was started at 2.30pm, 26th March 2010. It is now 1.20am, 31st March 2010. So yeah, I have truly mastered the art of procrastinating.
2. Sleep is my defense mechanism. The more I worry/ stressed/ depressed/ mad/ suicidal, the more I sleep. It's probably one of the main factors why I procrastinate so much.
3. Sometimes I cepat perasan. Okay, I am not gonna elaborate on this. Korang paham-paham sendirilah.
4. I'm a hopeless romantic masquerading as a heartless pessimist. I still dream that someday I'll meet my soulmate.
5. I indulge the bimbo in me by regular dosage of America's Next Top Model and Project Runway. I've yet to miss an episode of these two shows.
6. I am an Asian drama addict. Theme of choice: The love dynamics of younger guy & older woman.
7. I think I might end up as a 'cougar' someday.

And since I have done my part, I shall now pass on this award to those who are just as deserving.

1. Sarah Bukan Raksasa - She claims she's not a raksasa and yet she's a multiple personality disordered cookie monster. It'll be an interesting blogpost indeed.
2. Chuck - Coz she's a Kpop Otaku disguised as a medical researcher. The combination of the two is simply mind boggling.
3. Bawang - He's the Puaka from Patpong. Nuff said.
4. Aimee - I am forced to include her. She's my baby sister.
5. All followers and readers - the fact that you're reading my blog makes all of you beautiful to me.

Yikes, its now 2am. Told ya I'm a master procrastinator.

This Burdened Heart

This burdened heart speaks low but clear
That today destiny’s lanes are not very clear;
That pain, like rain, can mist up the eyes
That clouds, like pain can block out the skies

That somewhere else my heart wants to go
There are dreams and all I had to forego
Burdening my heart: where lies happiness
If my mind lies elsewhere, oscillating and vacillating:
Restrained and constrained, layers within layers
Life is but a stage and we, the players
But also when total liberty beckons, perplexed
My soul is vanquished, there are no walls to demolish
No mountains to climb, no one to care;
Nobody to say, nobody at all
“Not now, not like this, not this time”
That somewhere in this century we are alone, bewildered,
Abandoned, that we are
Parts of burdened hearts, that lie lost, thrown aside
Neglected, dejected, rejected
That there are no signposts on the crumbling way.

This burdened heart stops and starts
Carries on, bump-a-lump; will not give up
Life is but a brimming cup.

~Rani Turton~

MAP Arts Festival.

No plans for the day? Want something to do? Head on down to the MAP Arts Festival.

MAP is opening its doors TODAY, 27th of March 2010 with a 2-day arts festival. Activities include music, art, sculpture, performances, installations, talks, workshops and art markets alongside social and individual empowerment activities. The festival will introduce MAP’s two spaces: a 6,000 sq ft gallery and a 200-seater experimental theatre named the White Box and Black Box respectively.

In the works is an exciting program of community oriented activities that encompasses the widest possible diversity of creative content. MAP will provide opportunities for arts and cultural producers from multidisciplinary backgrounds. As a meeting point between artists, curators, critics and the public, it will serve as a catalyst for the exchange and exploration of contemporary ideas.

MAP is located in Solaris Dutamas. Details can be obtained via their website, www.mapkl.org or call Alex Yong at 019-3222932, Erna Dyanty at 012-2310961 or Sze at 013-3330852.

Free Admission to ALL Events. Check out their schedule on their Facebook page or just refer to the image below for activities that'll interest you.

Hope to see you there :)

Jane Austen kicks Zombie ass.

Imagine women of the Victorian era all in long dresses with necklines all the way up to their chin and hairdos that'll stretch your scalp, all involved in a death battle with zombies.

Or...

these same women all involved in a tumultuous love affair with SEA MONSTERS! Man oh man, the things people come up with nowadays.

This whole Supernatural/ classic literature mashup is somewhat bizarre, I tell you. But in a good way. I totally support anything that'll generate more interest in reading the classics. Yes even the Twilight series. Even though I detest the very idea of the non-fanged, glittering (So gay) bloodsucking vampire series it has at the very least generate an interest among youngsters to read Wuthering Heights. All because it's Edward Cullen & Bella's favourite book.

They even revamped the book cover so that it resembles the 'Twilight' series and even highlighted the fact that its Edward & Bella favourite book. Talk about feeding the obsession eh?

Now take Rick Riordan's Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief for example. Before the book series (and now the motion picture) came out kids/ teens probably didn't know that Hermes is not merely an expensive brand name and thought that Apollo is a type of snack. In reality they're both names of Ancient Greek gods. So despite the fact that it is pure fiction this series is actually informative. Heck even I got some benefit out of reading the series. Some information I got out of the book was actually useful in one of my lessons. Who knew eh?

I actually learned about the 12 Greek Gods from this book. And trust me the book is WAY better than the movie. WAY better.

So yeah, if literary purists were to say "Oh my god, you're ruining great works of literature!" then I say " Shut your trap, and be glad. Mashup classics is the latest fad." Hey, I just rhymed! And I stand true to what I just said. As great as any fad may be it'll still fade away in time but great works of literature, be it the classics or modern literary works, will forever stand the test of time. All we need to do is generate enough interest in people so that they'll never be forgotten.

So do check out the books. Pride and Prejudice and Zombies was number three on the New York Times Bestseller list and the same author now just published another book entitled Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter which is now number four on the New York Times Bestseller list. Meanwhile Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters is written by a different author but is published by the same company.

*And since my birthday is like a week away (1st April!!) I would LOVE to have one of these books as a birthday present. Please... pretty please, someone? :D

Biol punya orang. Tak reti bawak kereta ke? *tunjuk jari tengah*

The title does not in any way refer to me at all. In fact it refers to the moron who thinks that just because my car is smaller than his, therefore he has the right to act like a jerk and give out rude gestures.

You'd think that I'd got this response because I was driving slow on the fast lane or endangering other drivers by driving recklessly or something. But no, I got this "charming" epithet all because I cut him off when I entered the middle lane. Did I nearly ram into his car? Heck no! He was miles behind me. Did I signal? Of course.

So what did I do wrong? I was driving slower than he was.

Seriously, I don't get dudes with heavily modified cars who has this need to speed whenever they drive. But whatever lah, if you wanna speed like a mad person then go ahead because its your bloody fuel that you're burning. Tak kacau duit aku pun. But what I truly don't get is that they need to speed even though they're not on the fast lane and they bully others who are in their way. Now I'd totally understand if I was blocking you in the fast lane, but this is the middle lane I'm talking about. Is driving at 90 km/h in the middle lane wrong nowadays? And what's the point of speeding on KL roads anyways when cars are bumper-to-bumper nearly all the time.

And also what's with all the bullying? What results will it achieve by 'menghimpit' another person's car? If you bump my car won't it leave scratches on both our cars? Or have you somehow magically developed an invisible force field around your car? Nak letak force field around your car? Takat bawak wira je baik tak payah la brader.

Sumpah, if I was Superman I'll pick up that dude's car and hurl it with all my strength. Dah nak speed sangat. Hah, amik kau!

Being a girl driver in KL is challenging enough but to be bullied even further just because I drive a smaller car is simply heinous. Do realise that no matter how big of a car you have if you langgar pokok, remuk jugak. If habis minyak, stranded jugak. If every individual is judged solely on the basis o0f car size then might as well people start driving the monster trucks. Better yet, the army tank. Nobody will mess with you then.

I vow someday my little viva will be equipped like this. Berani ko nak buli?

Be my Guess.

Can you spot what is wrong with this picture?

And to think this came from a local International university that prides itself on its English. Hampeh!

Sex Explained By Pens

I got this from Buzzfeed.com and it had me laughing my head off. And since laughter is the best medicine for pretty much anything, I thought I'd share it with you lovely people. Enjoy :D

Pederasty or paederasty (US: /ˈpɛdəræsti/, UK: /ˈpiːdəræsti/) is a (usually erotic) relationship between an older man and an adolescent boy outside his immediate family.

*I had to google this because I had no clue what it meant. Buat malu je jadi cikgu bahasa omputih.

Eww, so the "hentai" wan?

Hentai is Japanese for pervert. And pervert is a great description of most Malay minds. Male & female alike. No exceptions. Mad at that statement? Why would you be? Unless you are one. A hentai, that is ;)

Today, I witnessed another display of Malay hentai-ism during a Mak Yong theater. Yes, you heard right. Hentai-ism during a Mak Yong theater at Istana Budaya. Throughout the entire show, the biggest response came only after corny, porno jokes were told. Not after a beautiful display of Mak yong dancing nor during an intense fight scene nor even after a touching, reunion scene between a long-lost mother and son. During these times the audience were either yawning away or anticipating when the actor will say 'pele' (Penis in Kelantanese dialect) again.

And of course to add insult to injury they just had to throw in a cross-dressing pondan dayang into the mix. These kind of things really makes one wonder if Malay theater can actually survive if they omitted sexual jokes and softy mak nyah from the plots. Seriously, I even heard some guys reviewing the play based on the porno jokes and the pondan element alone. Forget the fact that it was a play to promote Mak Yong. Apparently porno jokes were more important. I'm guessing that these were the same guys who wolf-whistled and hooted when an actor had to embrace an actress. It wasn't even a proper hug. And yet they made such a ruckus. It was bloody humiliating. And it seems like I was not the only ones who felt this way. Several Mat Sallehs came for the show as well and they were actually looking around and shaking their heads when these "moments" happened.

Will there ever be a time when Malays can actually show 'depth' through their mindset. Or is it just wishful thinking on my part since we Malaysians are conditioned to act and think this way. I don't know. What do you think?