On being fat...

It's nice to know that famous people like J.K Rowling (Author of Harry Potter series) would say something about fat issues. Yes... she's very much against it. Check out her official site jkrowling.com. Damn interesting site... tells you all you need to know about Harry Potter (if you're a potter mania like me) and about the author herself. There's also stuff like diaries and articles so it also acts somewhat as he personal blog. Anyways, in this particular article she mentioned that all a long-time-no-see acquaintance said when they met was "hey, u lost weight!". That friend didn't acknowledge the fact that she published a book and just won an award (they were at a book awards ceremony which J.K. Rowling just won something). So all she replied was "Yeah well, I just gave birth at that time."

This story reminds me of so many incidents that I have to go through whenever I meet old friends or old acquaintances though in my case they exclaim "my, you're looking healthier than ever" (healthy=fat). Why is it that people when they have nothing else to talk about start picking on other people's weight. It's bad enough that the recipient of the criticism has to be reminded that she's getting fatter, it's even worse when the exclaimation is done in front of loads of people. And again these same inconsiderate people wonder why everybody else has low self-esteem.

This also goes back to that blog that so-called friend of mine wrote. She probably goes through the same thing as I do though people would probably say "OMG, You're so skinny!!" but seriously in her case most would probably ask, "what's your secret? I need to lose ___ pounds" seeing the fact that skinny is the IN look nowadays. No matter if you're skinny or fat, the mater being pointed out to your face is still rude. So don't do it. Soemtimes when it goes on too long stuff like THAT blog would happen. And the next thing you know prejudice is popping up everywhere against fat/skinny people. I think that's why Pink wrote "Stupid Girls".

"Stupid Girls" by Pink is a really cool song (J.K. Rowling thinks so too-yeah, i think she's gonna be my new role model now ;P). There's too many stupid girls out there nowadays. I've seen girls starving themselves and doing stuff to their bodies just so that people would think them "pretty". But seriously it's all inside yourself. One of my best friends is extremely popular with guys but she would never fit into the category of typical skinny model look. In fact she's quite curvy and even before this she was a few pounds heavier, she still attracted loads of guys. ow did she do it? CONFIDENCE!! If I had half the confidence she has, then I'm all set to CONQUER THE WORLD (oops, I didn't say that out loud did I?) I mean... I'm all set.

If only people could open up their eyes and see the beauty within. I doubt that all these people nowadays saying that they don't care how their partners look like as long as they have a great personality, is all bullshitting really. Probably 1 out of 10 is telling the truth coz I've seen extremely good looking guys and gals with not so good looking partners. But look at that show "Average Joe", not once has the girl ever picked an average Joe which proves my point that people nowadays are mostly superficial.

Till that day of non-existant superficiality comes I shall wear my skepticism proudly and pronounce to the world "SO I'm FAT! Deal with it!"

Toothache gone!!

Hooray!! My toothache is finally gone!! Seriously it's worse than having a fever. You can't even sleep at nights with a toothache.

Uh-Oh... results will be out today. Please! Please! Please! Let me pass Research Methodology!!!

2 hours later...

OMYGODOMYGODOMYGOD! I PASSED!!

On my own!!

Being on your own is definitely liberating! No one to tell you what to do... criticise the way you dress or eat and you can pretty much do exactly what you want whenever you want. I guess being forced to stay at home for the weekend has its uses. I am definitely more relaxed than the last 4 months. *shudder* I do not even want to think about the things I went through last semester. The worst semester of my life. Beats even the time when I was in high school and that was before I can rant and rave on blogger.

I am definitely ready to have my own place. Or at least somewhere I live by my own authority and nobody else can intrude upon it. I am so jealous of Fynn for having her own place. I WANT ONE TOO!! Living on your own is a true sign that you're finally an adult. That you're independant and can stand on your own two feet. But yeah, I chose this life so it's time for me to live with it as sad as it may be. I just wish that people dont look at the 'student' status as a sign to boss me around. It's like being a student means that people can look down on you thinking you don't know any better coz you're still learning. Hell No! I'm learning coz I wanna make more money later on in life with my skills. Better to do it now rather when I'm old and greying. I wanna get on with life so it's easier if I get studying out of the way and then move on.

Aaarrrggghhh!! Just a few more days left of bliss and then back to UIA. Back to studying and assignments and constant worry if my grades are okay (results will be out tomorrow after 4pm. YIKES!!). Thank God that MA's are only a couple of years. I dont think I can take it if it takes as long as the undergrad level. I wanna start earning money and start building my own life. I wonder if I'll miss anything when I start living on my own. Probably the easy living I guess;P I mean living with your parents means you dont hafta worry about bills too much hehe! But other than that... nah! Okay maybe my family but I need freedom (I'm a girl after all). I need room to spiritually grow. Being home you're pretty much shaped by your parents. I need my own place so that I can live being me and not a version of what your mom wants you to be.

As always the case with time, when you look forward to something time tends to slow down and when you dread something time tend to speed up. Although a year aint that long, to me it seems like a very, very, very long time indeed!

Sweet? Me?

Your Reputation Is: Sweet Girl

While you're well known, there's nothing to worry about. You're reputation is mostly good - as good as any rep can be.

What's Your Reputation?

haha!! This is sooo NOT me. I am not sweet!!

Sad... sad day!

It's a sad, sad day when you're barred from going to your own best friend's engagement. Not from weather or the fact that she lives miles and miles away abroad but just because your mom told you so. *sigh*

Yeap... just like a typical Asian mom she put her foot down and said "NO! You can't go. Just do what I say!" Reason for this? Too flimsy too even warrant as a reason. And me being the typical Asian girl living under a parent's roof HAS TO listen to whatever the "RULER" says and in this case it's my mom. *long sigh*

So my best friend goes through her engagement with her bst friend absent. Yeah... yeah it may not sound like a big deal but to me it is. When I get engaged I would want my best friend to be present. Especially if your best friend is the only person besides your significant other who truly understands what you go through in life. For someone like me having my mom around during a critical moment of my life aint enough. My mom is not exactly my friend. My mom is my mom. An authority not to be dealt with.

My presence at her engagement wont probably effect much of the proceedings since I'm nobody but I think it would've meant a lot if I were there to give her encouragement. Getting married aint another step in life. It's a big leap. Especially now when you're still in uni. *another long sigh* But what's a girl to do. There's no way around it. Giving my mom the silent treatment aint gonna change her mind (trust me I tried it) and banging all my doors and stuff wont get me anywhere either, I'll probably get into more trouble.

So here I am on Sunday babysitting my baby sis with a bunch of other 15 year-olds while they go through their maths lesson. Ladeedaa! How exciting! I'm all teary-eyed with happiness. I'm sure this beats getting all dolled up, meeting up all my friends and eating good food at a party anytime! (Oh please, someone just kill me now!)

I vow that someday IF I have kids I will NOT rule over them with the iron claw regime. They shall be my friend and no matter what I do I shall be a cool mom! SO HELP ME GOD!

You Are 48% Abnormal

You are at medium risk for being a psychopath. It is somewhat likely that you have no soul. You are at high risk for having a borderline personality. It is very likely that you are a chaotic mess. You are at medium risk for having a narcissistic personality. It is somewhat likely that you are in love with your own reflection. You are at low risk for having a social phobia. It is unlikely that you feel most comfortable in your mom's basement. You are at low risk for obsessive compulsive disorder. It is unlikely that you are addicted to hand sanitizer.

How Abnormal Are You?

Hehe!! How much do you guys agree with this?

Woes on mothers

Sometimes you just cant help but hate your own mom. And you just cant help but wonder whether you're in the right family or were you switched at birth. The two of you just can't get any more different.

Why do mothers do things to aggravate you? (Actually they might ask the same things from their daughters). But I think I can safely say that most mothers don't really try to understand thair daughters and daughters no matter how much they try will never understand their mothers. There's simply too much of an age difference. Sure you see these moms that get along so well with their moms but I betcha that those moms are probably much younger than the moms that usually have a bad relationship with their kids. Moms of the later age just cant understand what teens or young adults nowadays go through in their life. They're so trapped in that old mindset where moms and dads are the authority and nothing the kids say would change their minds about anything.

I see this a lot in Asian household. Asian parents are famous for beating the kids up, for not listening to what the kids say and using the iron claw treatment on their kids. And I see it most often in Asian mothers. Why? Just because they themselves were brought up that way and they just can't help turning out like their moms. It's just a shame when I see bright and intelligent kids trying to voice out some stuff to be instantly rebuked by the parents just with the excuse that they're kids and they dont know any better. How would you know that the kid didn't know any better? Kids nowadays are growing up faster and faster every day. Things aren't the same during the time when our parents were growing up. I think most kids nowadays just want to be heard. Parents dont hafta do what their kids say just listen and discuss it with them. Is that so hard to do?

Parents think that by listening to their kids its like demeaning themselves. Relinquishing whatever veto power they have and sharing it with the kids. Hell NO! Sides, parents aren't supposed to have veto powers anyways. How are you supposed to teach kids to be fair and accepting of other people's ideas if you dont set an example at home. Kids are not dumb not if you teach them right. They know that sometimes parent do the things that they do because it's the best course of action but if things are done just because that what the parents say then for sure the kids will revolt. I believe that parents should let kids take their time in doing some things. Dont force or imply rules just because that is what you believe in. In the end parents are gonna suffer coz their kids went against them behind their backs.

I've seen parents who are democratic and fair and trust me their kids are far better off than most parents who uses the ironclaw method. It's just aint worth it. You dont want your kids to turn your backs on you. Listen to them once in a while and you might learn something about your kids. Sometimes they can be far more intelligent than you give credit for.

try it... It's not so hard to listen.

Marriage... It's an epidemic!!!

Everywhere I turn everybody is doing it. If not downright marriage it's an engagement. It's like the bubonic plague where everybody just can't help but get the disease (no offense, but to me it is like a disease). And what's funny is that all these people that you just never thought would get married first or get married at all would be the first to get hitched. Teaches you to never take things at a surface level huh...

Oh well... I'm happy for them (seriously I am). I'm not too demented to actually run away from my friend's weddings but it's kinda sad when I see all these people who had to sacrifice a whole lot coz of babies and husbands. I just think that it's far too early for most of these people to settle down. They had soo much potential. They could've changed the world!! But then again it must be nice to legally be with that someone you love. *sigh* It sure beats having complete strangers coming at you asking "are you guys married?" and "do you know what you're doing now is indecent?" Ah... fuck you and your hypocrisy. You people are just jealous! I know that ur kids are doing the same thing and there you are sticking your noses up other people's business. Marriage would mean that you can show them the finger and say "ko pedulik apa? I'm married!".

Got to give these people credit though (those getting married early). I mean you meet so many people in your life and these people would definitely offer a lot of temptation. It's hard enough when you're just in a relationship and trying to mantain that relationship but when you're in a marriage and that person you married is gonna be your partner for the rest of your life, temptation is way harder. All these question whether you'll be bored of him or whether it will last will definitely come up. But then again, love conquers all rite? I also have to give them credit for wanting to avoid things that might complicate life a lot further like 'kena tangkap basah' or illegitimate babies.

I'm no commitment phobe and I do wanna have a husband and kids someday but I just cant see that someday to be anytime soon. I wanna achieve things first. Get my life on the right track. And to do this you might have to do stuff that might make marriage suffer and that's shit. You shouldn't have to sacrifice your marriage for your dreams. So to make it work... something gotta give and perhaps for me marriage can wait.

OCD? More like prejudice.

This is taken from a so-called friend's blog. Why did I take it? Let's just say that since she wanted to shout out to the world how she felt, I felt "What the heck... might as well help her spread the word around" (Please read this as sarcastically as you can.) Seriously, I am SOOO tempted to put down her details and expose this self-proclaimed bitch for who she really is (she really knows how to put up a sweet front) but I thought... NAH! Why stoop down to her level. She's in a spot where you can't get any lower.

I'm re-posting her blog coz I wanna show to you what a real prejudiced person is like. To author of blog-if you ever come across this page, it's NOT OCD. Obesessive-Complusive Disorder is when you cant control your need to do something like clean and rearrange stuff. What you have is pure, plain prejudiced. I don't wanna spoil the spurise for all of you so I'll just post it up now. But PLEASE leave comments about the blog. I'd like to hear what you have to say. Who knows maybe I'm just over reacting.

what is? Obssessive Compulsive Disorder. on what? fatty, fatso, whutever.. yeap i have OCD when it comes to fat people (girls, to be specific). to those my girl friends.. i'm sorry but i really am. let me jsut be blunt to u guys... i cannot stand them around me, i feel like kickin' their fat ass( imagining they gonna fly high above the sky..and me sayin' bye bye loser..). for one thing, fat ppl are very slow in thinking.they hardly do things accordingly and they are smelly! i cant stand being around fat people not because i felt intimidated (because i'm skinny) but its just the feeling that i hardly explain. i feel like vommiting when they approach me.

most fat girls i know are way too mean to be a human. they should have become a pig or something. or maybe they were..and reincarnated to be human..because god felt sorry for them.. Speaking of sorry, there goes another reason for me to hate them. They always take advantage on the fact that they are fat. People wud symphatize them. and because of that sympathy, they always have this think sense of sensitivity in them..people never say direct to their face.. "eee.. u're so fat".. but when it comes to skinny ppl, they'll go " so skinny..why, dun eat arr?" stupid asshole..some people have high metabolism, stupid numbnuts! although, i couldnt care less bout those who said i'm skinny..they're just jealous that i can fit in any clothes..MNG..ZARA..this and tht..but them..they have to go to Miss Read..(the auntie kinda clothes).

I hate fat people (fat bitch to be precise) because of Sue..she's fat. a fat whore who sells top up cards who thinks she's hot. She claim her self to be a japanese mix.. (although i dun see it). Perhaps the Sumo part. she's indirectly tryin' to tell the guys that her ancestor is a Sumo Wrestler..ehhehehe. Yes i have to be mean. I discriminiate fat girls.

I hate fat girls because they claim they have 38 cup..yeah like D or F or G, maybe! yeah whutever.. u even have to put deodorant under ur breast..not just armpit!

Some of the fat girls ( my fat friends) claim themselves as the hottie..they can sleep with anyone anytime.. yeah sure.. u got to lift up ur fat so that the guys can see ur pussy.. hahahaha (gross thought).. your pussy is covered up with your jelly belly and its smelly. Why did they do such thing? to boost up their confidence..confidence ma ass!!!

Last but not least.. dear Ireina or whutever ur name is.. my bf told me this funny story about her (which i cant reveal or i'll be dead).. yeah well, look urself at the mirror.. u're nothing but a big time fat whore who's a phaedophile (screw the spelling, i have no time for proper English here).

In conclusion..me, **** and **** have this thing about fat people.. (again, fat girls).. suma orang gemok bodoh! hehehehehe.. (we have the evidence based on the claim)..

So that was it guys... the blog that made everyone's day (again, as much sarcasm as you can muster). The sad part about this whole thing was that she was a really close friend and now I wonder, what was she really thinking all this while? What I really cannot forgive us the fact that she has hurt the feelings of so many people especially those who didn't deserve to be hurt. Irony at it's best when a self-proclaimed big mouth bitch, who puts on a mean front while in reality she's mommy's little girl, calls other people a meanie.

Please people, just tell me what you think. It'll be great to hear what other people have to say.

Nohari Window

I'm just trying to figure out how I am and what are my weaknesses so could all of you help me out? Go to this link and try to describe my weaknesses. It's kinda cool and I really want to improve myself. Help me out ya!

Nohari Window

Bad start?

A friend of mine had commented that I've had a really bad start this new year, come to think of it I may have. But, to me I wouldn't say that it was a bad start. Sure not everybody opens the year with 2 computers banging up but other than that my life has been pretty uneventful. In fact, it adds a litle excitement to my other wise typical and boring life. I mean all I do every single day is wake up, go to class, come back, do assignments and the internet is my best friend. Not exactly the kind of life I thought I'd lead once I'm a masters. My boyfriend is busy and most of my friends are all graduated so that just leaves me and the internet (which lets me down every once in a while- so I cant really depend on it to keep me company either). God I don't have a life!!!

Oh yeah, I just received news that my kitens were taken away by people. I dont know where to and I dont even want to contemplate. Luckily the mom (Maru) is still around so it's not too lonely. But the room is quieter now. I miss them trying to tear up everything in the room. *sob* My theory on their disappearance is that there's some people who are jealous that they dont want to play with them and want to play with me instead. So they call up these people just to spite me. Seriously what have they done to you? They dont poop and pee in your room, I've potty trained them to do it outside and they're not destructive (only to my stuff). *sigh* And to think I promised Sardines to my auntie. It's sad that they're gone but this has happened to me before. So I guess I'm a little immune.

So would I say that I've had a bad year so far? Well, maybe, but I dont want to dwell on the negative. It's just too depressing. It's so much better to concentrate on the better things to come. My computer is up and running. There's still a few snag I want to smooth out but it's not too major that it need immediate attention. And I'm flush again so no worries about money. I just cant wait for the semester to be over and have my well-deserved rest.

And the thought that after struggling for my Masters I shall someday have my own place and no one then can tell me what I should and shouldn't do (though I know mom is gonna try her hardest). Till that day comes... I shall toil away.

Just when you think things couldn't get any worse...

I've just had the most horrible, frustrating, hair-tearing, screaming-bloddy-murder week ever!! Till now I still want to scream bloody murder (SCREAMS IN FRUSTRATION).

Why can't Malaysia adopt US's stand that whenever it's the company's fault, at least pay a little compensation for the damage that's been caused. But NOOO... Malaysia's stance is to just apologize (with as little sincerity as possible) and hope you shove off and never mention this incident ever again. Well you picked the wrong person to mess with BITCH!

In a matter of 1 week my 2 computers have both exploded and fried by UIA due to their management system of complete ignorance of an oncoming problem until a tsunami of a problem hits them up their arses and send them into a panicked frenzy. How did UIA annihilate my computers? By letting me stay in a room that they knew had electrical problems but refuse to fix just because a former occupant was lazy to demand the room to be fixed. That and also the stupidity in thinking that UIA can never do any wrong, only the students. BULL-SHIT! My computers were working just fine and none of my electrical items were faulty. Still wanna blame it on me? Bring it on the? Check my stuff? I guarantee you that they're all A-OKAY. But what is most fucked up is the fact that they refuse to let me change rooms AND the fact that when the higher administration started to ask questions, they get all defensive and of course the blame would fall back on me. Seriously UIA sucks!!


And to think that I would learn to be careful around computers the next time round but no... I managed to actually pry off a letter from a laptop keyboard. And the funny thing is the laptop wasn't even mine. It was a loan from the place that I worked with coz they were sorry that I managed to get my computer blown to pieces! Call it bad luck? No, more like stupid dumbass carelessness. I mean what was I thinking? Be careful la wei!!

But still I feel that I need to stand up for myself though it's obvious that MOST of the blame is mine but it is not entirely my fault (denial is always good). I mean the computer won't just blow up by me plugging it in the socket now would it. Yes... that's what happened! I plugged the computer into the socket and BOOM! Smoke and fire came pouring out the back of the computer. Sob! Sob! My faithful little computer *sob* So for that incident I blame entirely to UIA. I mean why the hell was their voltage so high? Hello... most electrical items has a limit of 230V! But seriously, UIA needs to buck up! Where's the quality? You're supposed to be an international standard university!!

As for the second blow up... it was my new computer. *WAAAAA* That was entirely my fault. I was totally to blame. I was stupid and careless and I bear full responsibility (which cost me RM65). But still the incident was still because of the voltage. I was just stupid enough not to notice the Automatic voltage regulator turned off and went ahead and started the computer and to make a long story short... the power supply melted. Yeah... it actually sounded like ice-cream melting when put in a hot frying pan. The smoke smelled totally disgusting. Luckily this time the monitor (my new prized possesion- a 17" BenQ LCD monitor) did not blow up too. Hence my RM65 'melayang' just like that.

So whose fault is it? Mine and UIA's. For one UIA gave me a room which they knew was faulty in the first place. One of the socket wasn't working so I had to make do (ironing, boil water, recharge handphone, computer) all on one socket. See the probability of voltage overdose? Now you know why. Why they kept it a secret? Simple... all they wanted was MONEY!!

I've already lodged a complaint to the Quality Unit *nyahahaha* and you know what the college admin had the nerve to say? "How the hell did this reach the higher administration?" So... they wanted to keep it a secret. Hah! You're totally busted! (I feel like I've just uncovered a secret illegal organisation-Haha!) So anyhow that made them shake a little and my room change application was approved pronto. And it seems that they fixed up the socket during the weekend. People... people... people... if only you thought of this way earlier during the semester when I first lodged a complaint (I complained 3 times) and this whole messy incident wouldn't have happened. And you all would be blame free.

As for me... I have turned into this paranoid bitch everytime I have to use an electrical item in that room. I break out into a cold sweat and pray to god that nothing blows up. So far so good but I'm still paranoid. I'm definitely gonna change my room. I'm not crazy to actually stay in that room after all that has happened. I just hope they give me a room on the ground floor so I wouldnt have to lug all my stuff.

Oh yeah... u people might be wondering how the hell did I pry loose one of the letters of a laptop? Say thanks to Sardines the kitten. He literally wanted to chase the mouse on the screen and before I could stop him the letter E was off. After the whole computer incident the week before you can imagine the kind of reaction I had (totally berserk). Luckily it wasn't broken or anything. Just came off and by God's miracle I actually succeded in putting it back in all in one piece. phew!!

And to add icing to the cake... Maru actually got locked in my neighbour's room for 2 whole days. I went to the guard house 3 times and only managed to catch the guard at 10pm. I came back after the weekend at 2pm. What the hell were you guarding la? Even then he wouldn't let me open my neighbour's room although I know for a fact that the lady would definitely want me to release the poor cat. She's been stuck in there for 2 days. Imagine the MESS!! Who the hell is gonna clean it? Stupid guard. You know the irony, the next morning I managed to find another guard, female this time, and she immediately looked for a key and let the damn cat go. How simple was that?! Why lah you people need to make things so complicated? And afgter the whole incident has been told to my neighbour even she herself cursed the male guard. I mean come on!! That cat might've died.

I seriously think UIA is one of the best local uni in Malaysia but the attitude of the people here stinks. Big time. I don't think I can ever go through a week like this. I don't think I can handle all that stress. Aaarrrggghhh!!

Neglect...

It's a widespread phenomenon. A guy chases after girl, guy gets the girl, then guy takes the girl for granted coz he already got the girl. Typical scenario that most guys are aware off and yet keeps repeating throughout the duration of his life. Not once does he learn that the girl's feelings matter just as much as his.

Why do most guys expect that the girl would wait on/for him so patiently just because she's his girlfriend. I mean come on she has a life too. A life that she has so willingly altered to accomodate the guy's feelings. So you don't like her to go out with other guys then dont give her a chance to do just that. Don't expect girls to obediently stay in their room, waiting for the boyfriend to call and jumping at his every beck and call. This is the 21st century, girls like that no longer exist! Our world do not just exist around our so-called 'better' half. I know that guys out there will probably label me as a feminist after reading this blog. You know what, SO WHAT! I don't care if I am a feminist. If that's what it takes to get women be respected more then a feminist I shall be.

I don't understand why guys can't treat women with a little more respect and patience despite our so-called weaknesses (emotional and unpredictable). I'm not one to say that women are the epitome of perfection... heck, we women are a complicated bunch that we dont even understand ourselves let alone each other. But then again realise that men too have weaknesses and we bear with it. So why take us for granted and treat us like we're not important. In relationships, the hardest is not when you're trying to get the girl but trying to KEEP the girl. *sigh*

I know all blame shouldn't go to men. Despite my earlier claim that women who jumps at men's every whim is extinct...that's not true. There'll always be woman like that. But that doesn't mean that all women are like that AND that kind of women is NOT the model in which all other women should look up to.

So please... don't insult our intelligence. We have brains and we know how to use it. Keep neglecting us womenfolk, don't be suprised to find yourself alone and miserable looking at a photo of your ex-wife who's having the time of her life with her friends, other liberated women who managed to escape the clutches of men who just didn't learn how to appreciate.

Me Kittens!!

I've always been a cat lover. I think I was one even before I was born. That I have my dad to thank coz he was a cat lover too. There's a picture of me as a wee baby holding on to a cat. I can't help it... I think they're fantastic creatures. The Egyptians wouldn't have worshipped them if they weren't. They're so regal. I seriously wonder how can some people be afraid of cats. It's not like they're tigers or anything. OOooohhh... I want a tiger. A beautiful white bengal tiger for a pet. Yeah... dream on! Gotta make do with cats then.

Right now I am taking care of one sexy momma cat and 3 boisterous and extremely hyper active kittens who are way too large for their age. The mess is unbelieveable! (yes that includes doo doos and wee wees and cathair all over the room). But I'm used to it. Sure its icky but hey it comes with the job. It can't beat having them look at you with those beautifl eyes. I LOVE CATS!!

Momma's name is Maru (courtesy of Adry) and she's one protective momma. How can cats know to protect their kids at all costs and we human beings throw away babies just like that? Does that mean that we're lower than cats? Hmm... you know sometimes I think that most of us are.

And these are her three kittens whom Sarah managed to stop for a potrait. Usually these tykes would be running across the rooms that they're usually a blur. Sardines a boy while the other two are girls. Sardines has bad breath hence the name. Curly was supposed to be called Oinker but nah... she deserves something with a little more dignity. While the last is Tripod (no, she does not have 3 legs). Tripod is feline version of a dalmation and has 3 aligned spots on one side of her body hence the name.


Sardines the fatty cat with bad breath. Still thinking on how to brush his teeth.

Feline Dalmation

Curly in her Cute mode

Actually one of the reasons that I'm posting this is because they need good homes. There's only so much I can do for them. They have a home while I'm on campus but when I'm not they're gonna have a terrible time surviving since they're used to catfood handed to them whenever they're hungry. I can't take them home since I live all the way in Ipoh and have no transport to bring them back. They may be strays but they're well cared for and they're sweet creatures and I have managed to house train them to an extent so if there's anybody out there willing to take them just leave a message and I'll try to contact you. Maru can probably survive if left during the hols but the kittens will probably not. If there's anyone out there who can help please don't hesitate to contact me.

I don't know why I never learn. This has happened before and I still feel guilty for taking cats in and then abandoning them. I'm sooo sorry Momot, Boy, and Lucky. *sigh* I jut love cats too much...


Boy at the prime of his life

Whose fault is it?

Everybody's definition of a relationship is as unique as every other person in this planet. So I dont think one has the right to critisize another person's actions and what they do with their life. But you just cant help it sometimes? You just feel like shaking that person and saying what were you thinking!? Especially when that idiot just doesn't realise that it was their fault that the relationship ended.

Most people demand tolerance and understanding in from their loved ones but do they ever think whether they've been handing out the same things that they've been demanding? So when the relationship fails whose fault is it then? Sometimes it pisses me off that people are in denial of their own faults. It's like that Malay saying "You can spots germs from way across the sea and yet you dont see the elephant right in front of your nose."(translated)

I'm a believer that honesty is best when given at sparingly. There are things that are best not mentioned to anyone even those whom you claim is your soulmate. My philosophy: Sin of ommission is never as bad as sin of commission. But that's not the same as lying. Just for your own pleasure why would you lie to the people you love? The only thing it's gonna bring about is just hurt and mistrust. So why lie?

But hey... it's ur life so who am I to say anything. All he best to you mate!

Through A Rapist's Eyes

This is important information for females of ALL ages. Guys - please forward to the female members of your family and all your female friends and associates.

When this was sent to me, I was told to forward it to my lady friends. I forwarded it to most everyone in my address book. My men friends have female friends and this information is too important to miss someone. Please pass it along.

A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts :

1) The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun, braid or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go aftera woman with long hair . Women with short hair are not common targets.

2) The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women who's clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around specifically to cut clothing.

3) They also look for women on their cell phone, searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking because they are off guard and can be easily overpowered.

4) Men are most likely to attack & rape in the early morning, between 5:00 a.m. and 8:30 a.m.

5) The number one place women are abducted from/attacked is grocery store parking lots. Number two is office parking lots/garages. Number three is public restrooms.

6) The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to another location where they don't have to worry about getting caught.

7) Only 2% said they carried weapons because rape carries a 3-5 year sentence but rape with a weapon is 15-20 years.

8) If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn't worth it because it will be time-consuming

9) These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas, or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands.

Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you're not worth it.

10) Several defense mechanisms he taught us are: If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk: "I can't believe it is so cold out here", "we're in for a bad winter." Now
you've seen their face and could identify them in a line-up; you lose appeal as a target.

11) If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell STOP or STAY BACK ! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they'd leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back . Again, they are looking for an EASY target.

12) If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes,) yell I HAVE PEPPER Spray and holding it out will be a deterrent.

13) If someone grabs you, you can't beat them with strength but you can by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm (between the elbow and armpit) OR in the upper inner thigh VERY VERY HARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands - the guy needed stitches.

Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it; it hurts.

14) After the initial hit, always GO for the GROIN. I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy's parts it is extremely painful. You might think that you'll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble, and he's out of there.

15) When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible . The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.

16) Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior,don't dismiss it, go with your instincts!!!

You may feel a little silly at the time, but you'd feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.

PLEASE READ THEN FORWARD THIS TO EVERY WOMAN YOU KNOW,
IT'S SIMPLE STUFF BUT IT COULD SAVE HER LIFE!

UIA Hols...

Looks like I'm stuck in UIA for the holidays again. Well... maybe not as long as last time but I have to endure days in UIA with nobody around and crappy food. *sigh*

Technically it was my fault. I should've settled my work like ages ago. But NOOOO I just had to goof off. *WHAT WERE YOU THINKING SHAN?* So now I endure the deafening silence and the solitude of UIA during midterm break. Luckily though (why am I saying it's lucky?) Dr. F is having another makeup class on Friday. So at least something to do to kill the time. But NOW I have to worry on how the heck I'm gonna go back to Ipoh this Friday. PERAK has the most concentrated chinese settlement in the whole country. Everybody is going back for Chinese New Year. Aiseyman!!

IT SUCKS that my friends are scattered all over Malaysia so hanging out aint much of an option. I hate going through looking for new pals kinda thing so here I am the voluntary hermit and yet hating every minute of it. *Geez, I'm such a loser* I wish I could make friends without going through all that preliminary bullshit of getting to know each other and all that. It's a lotta hassle. Demanding I know...

*sigh* NAK BALIK! NAK BALIK!

I am beyond pissed at the moment. Wordes can't describe how I feel. I have the urge to kick, scream, shout, throw stuff. But most of all I have this urge to... HURT!

WHy do I let myself be treated this way? Like someone who does not matter. With no dignity. No pride. My ego rebels. I cant's stand it. *screaming in frustration and anger*

I feel unimportant. That I serve no purpose but to be at beck and call. Like I don't have a life. But I DO!! It's a matter of choice on how I lead my life!

Just realise that things can just change. I wont be around all the time you know. Just remember that will you...

It's been awhile since I last blogged. I guess I must have gotten one of those writer's (or in this case blogger's) block. The thing is I had LOADS of stuff to say. Like that time when I got hoodwinked into going clubbing at Planet (then again, I was stupid enough to think that Planet was NOT a club. It didn't help that my gal pals insisted that it was live band-Shame on you girls ;P). Then there was that time when I felt like killing Matt and a girl who just didn't seem to understand that I need some time alone with him. I mean DUH... we just endured like 5 months of long-distance romance here so could you like give me some room! Some people can be THICK sometimes. Other than that was my usual on and off uncertainties, low self-esteem, problems yada... yada... yada and oh yeah I'm feeling under the weather at the moment. Terrible fever and *cough*. And there's also that doubt on whether I should carry on with my Masters (please don't panic people, I AM going through with it ;D). There were times when I felt "I gotta write this!" but I didn't. As soon as the keyboard was right in front of me everything went blank. *sigh* All that pent up stuff aint good people!

It's not just for blogs anymore too. It's happening to letter writing and anything to do with creative writing. I cant even speed up doing quality quest. Dr. Nora is already asking when it's gonna be done. Aaarrgghhh!! Seriously... I just can't go through doing it!!

The case of the 'Malas'? Could be? I just think that my head is still behind time. It's already2006 but my mind is back in 2005. I'm still on holiday mode. Thank god I started studying now rather than working first and then start studying again. Imagine if I'm used to having money every month then hafta go back to just being a student. Whoa! No thanks. So this is my path.

Gotta find a way to kickstart my head back to gear now.

p.s. Happy Eidul Adha Everybody!!

Happy New Year!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!