Be my Guess.

Can you spot what is wrong with this picture?

And to think this came from a local International university that prides itself on its English. Hampeh!

Sex Explained By Pens

I got this from Buzzfeed.com and it had me laughing my head off. And since laughter is the best medicine for pretty much anything, I thought I'd share it with you lovely people. Enjoy :D

Pederasty or paederasty (US: /ˈpɛdəræsti/, UK: /ˈpiːdəræsti/) is a (usually erotic) relationship between an older man and an adolescent boy outside his immediate family.

*I had to google this because I had no clue what it meant. Buat malu je jadi cikgu bahasa omputih.

Eww, so the "hentai" wan?

Hentai is Japanese for pervert. And pervert is a great description of most Malay minds. Male & female alike. No exceptions. Mad at that statement? Why would you be? Unless you are one. A hentai, that is ;)

Today, I witnessed another display of Malay hentai-ism during a Mak Yong theater. Yes, you heard right. Hentai-ism during a Mak Yong theater at Istana Budaya. Throughout the entire show, the biggest response came only after corny, porno jokes were told. Not after a beautiful display of Mak yong dancing nor during an intense fight scene nor even after a touching, reunion scene between a long-lost mother and son. During these times the audience were either yawning away or anticipating when the actor will say 'pele' (Penis in Kelantanese dialect) again.

And of course to add insult to injury they just had to throw in a cross-dressing pondan dayang into the mix. These kind of things really makes one wonder if Malay theater can actually survive if they omitted sexual jokes and softy mak nyah from the plots. Seriously, I even heard some guys reviewing the play based on the porno jokes and the pondan element alone. Forget the fact that it was a play to promote Mak Yong. Apparently porno jokes were more important. I'm guessing that these were the same guys who wolf-whistled and hooted when an actor had to embrace an actress. It wasn't even a proper hug. And yet they made such a ruckus. It was bloody humiliating. And it seems like I was not the only ones who felt this way. Several Mat Sallehs came for the show as well and they were actually looking around and shaking their heads when these "moments" happened.

Will there ever be a time when Malays can actually show 'depth' through their mindset. Or is it just wishful thinking on my part since we Malaysians are conditioned to act and think this way. I don't know. What do you think?

Welcome to Bootcamp, maggots!!

Before any of you start freaking out and think "OMG!! Shan joined the army!", I didn't. Join the army that is. But I did, for support of my dear friend Sheena and also due to my WTH-might-as-well-try-it syndrome, join a one hour intense exercise bootcamp.

And boy am I feeling the burn!

The video is nothing compared to the exercises that we actually had to do that day. I'm talking about nonstop push-ups, sit-ups, jumping jacks, squat pulses, jackknives, and a whole load of running. Not to mention a continuous flipping of a 30kg tractor wheel across the field. I'm guessing The Star probably edited out all the "good" parts so people would actually sign up. Check out this link if you really wanna see how intense the training can be: Bootcamp promotional video. Seriously, the intensity level was through the roof. I was already panting away right after warm-ups. And to think Sheena said that session was mild. Mild is a brisk walk around my apartment complex. Lifting up heavy bags of sand and running around a field with it is NOT mild.

But as the beautifully fit and oh-so-handsome trainer in the video said the bootcamp is great for those who wish to lose weight fast. And for anyone who wishes to raise their stamina level. But forget it if you're one of those people who cares about getting mud in your nails or mind being around sweaty people because throughout my hour there, I was up to my elbows in mud, grime and god knows whatever filth. It'll get in your nails, hair, face, shoes and even your underwear. Sweat? Please... horses sweat less than we did that day.

Bootcamp Malaysia Bring-a-Friend Day survivors. Woohoo!

So the all important question, would I ever I sign up for this crazy exercise bootcamp? Probably. But only when I'm desperate enough to lose weight. Like maybe a couple of months before my wedding. I'll definitely look fantastic during the wedding but will probably be too tired out to actually enjoy my "first" night. Hehe... kesian my future husband :P

Check out this website if you're interested to know more about the Bootcamp: Bootcamp Malaysia.

So now if you'll excuse me, I need to go rub some deep-heat balm on my aching muscles. My muscles ache so good.

I'm not a sadist. Really!

Who would've thought that a couple of videos on World War 1 would actually make my students cry. Never did I realise that I had some pure, innocent souls that would actually be touched by the sheer intensity of WW1 footage. Why would I when I myself is a far cry from being innocent. My heart is now an unfeeling stone that nothing beyond outright torture and mutilation would elicit any sort of response from me.

Do I feel bad for making them cry? Of course!

But did I get satisfaction from seeing them cry? Hmm... erm, yeah.

Now before you all start hurling stones at me please allow me to explain myself. Contrary to what I just said I do not derive satisfaction from another person's misery. This satisfaction is simply because I knew that somehow my efforts have paid off. Through their tears I now know that my students have finally understood the full impact WW1 had on people. And they cry because they now know why the war poets wrote dark, depressing war poems.

VIDEO 1: The Horrors of War.

I showed them this video simply because it had footage on how the battles were fought in WW1. Imagine, at the tender age of 18 you are required to go to war not knowing what to expect. World War 1 was the first war with modern weapons. Technological advancement in warfare resulted in approximately 16 million lives lost.

Video 2: Shell Shock

This is probably the more gruesome out of the two videos and is probably the reason tears started falling. This video simply shows the physical and psychological trauma that surviving soldiers had to go through because of the war. WARNING!! It is not for the faint-hearted. So approach the play button with caution.

However despite the depressing outcome of the class, I really relished class that day. The students now can probably relate better to the theme of war atrocities. And hopefully as a result of that they'll now have a much critical view on war. Peace has now become a commodity. Owned only by those with more money and bigger guns.

As for myself, what I got out if it is the fact that I have managed to draw-out a different kind of response other than the customary 'blur' look that most of my students usually have on. That in itself is a major accomplishment :P

Gus Fraba...

I will permit no man to narrow and degrade my soul by making me hate him.

~ Booker T. Washington ~

I need to memorize this. I'll do whatever it takes; drink it, eat it, hit it, beat it, keep it, stamp it, kick it, kiss it, lick it.

Anything!

Short of writing it in permanent marker across my forehead I need to make sure that NOBODY, and I really mean NOBODY is worth this much aggravation.

What's aggravating me?

Brown-nosers. Lowlifes that has no purpose in life except sucking up to people who they think has the power. They have their noses so far up another person's backside that you'd think the other person is growing another set of legs.

Tattle-tales. Scumbags that goes orgasmic by the thought of passing on gossip and tidbits to people who they think are in power. They further experience multiple orgasm when the gossip creates trouble for others.

Busybodies. Losers that has no life of their own thus they busy themselves in other people's business. Never have they realised that they are unwanted, unwelcomed and unlikeable.

*deep breath* Gus Fraba.... Gus Fraba...

But its okay. I AM the better (wo)man here. I WILL take the high road. And I shall NOT permit these contemptible deadbeats to degrade my soul by hating them.

I shall not hate them. I shall NOT hate them.

Well... maybe not that much.

Glee + Geek = GLEEK!!

Okay its official. I am now a die hard Glee fan. I LOVE LOVE LOVE the show. I have their songs playing on loop! Putting aside the fact that I am a sucker for musicals I think this is one of the funniest and entertaining shows EVER. The day that Glee stops airing shall be the day that I shall flood the world with tears and hurl myself off the cliff of loneliness and despair.

Yes, I love it THAT much.

This is how much of a 'Gleek' I am.

Don't know the show? Read up on what Glee is all about here. Starworld on ASTRO will be airing the show soon so Malaysia, please, please, please tune in. You ain't got nothing to lose by it. Here's a preview on what you'll see on the show.

*APPLAUSE*

Tolonglah, sila tonton rancangan ini.

Out with the old, On with the new

Ring out the old, ring in the new,
Ring, happy bells, across the snow:
The year is going, let him go;
Ring out the false, ring in the true.

~Alfred, Lord Tennyson, 1850~


My Prayer

My health.

My family.

My friends.

My life.

These are the things I am grateful for. And these are the things I am hoping for. Dear God, I ask for nothing more. And I ask for nothing less. Take care of me in 2010 as you have taken care of me in 2009 for it is because of you that I live, and it shall be because of you that I die.

Amin.