Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Desperado

God... don't you hate it when these people don't know when to back off!! Seriously give people room to breath...

There's no denying it even the most attractive people will turn BLEARGH when they start oozing desperate vibes. It's a definite turn off. Even desperate people don't go for other desperate people. Desperate just ain't rite!!

So you wanna know if you're desperate? Do you ever...

1. Hint off a relationship just after a few sms-es to somebody (and you haven't even met that person yet!!)?

2. Do you start posting up pictures of that person in your phone and computer just after a few phone calls?

3. Do you talk off a "connection" after a few conversations with a person?

If you say YES to even one of the questions then you are DEFINITELY desperate!! So cool it! Desperation will only achieve one thing... all your potential dates running at full speed in the opposite direction. Yes... even the butt ugly ones. Trust me, I speak from experience. All those questions I asked... I had to endure that from a guy I know through the net, whom I have never ever met before and was already talking about our parents meeting after a few days of sms-ing. *screams* I'm suffocating by just thinking about it! Now I have to figure out a way to make a graceful sprint in the opposite reaction.

No offence to all of you desperados out there but this is for your own good. Tone it down!! There's nothing that interests people more than a good ol' hard-to-get chase. Getting to know somebody is like knowing there's a juicy prize at the end of a long race but those who rush to get it might accidentally kick it further from reach.

It's the flirting that keeps people going. The playful banterings and the hints of better things to come will just keep people coming back for more. Ain't that right people?

Saturday, January 20, 2007

Marriage...

Marriage - Part I

Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:

"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"

His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night .....whether you're here or not."


(DAMN SHE'S GOOD!)

************************************

Marriage (Part II)

Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary!

The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that
reads:

"Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever "

"Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads:


"Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last"

(HE ASKED FOR IT!)

******************************

Marriage (Part III)

Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table. Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either," and storms out of the house.

After some time, he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says, "What took you so long to answer the phone?"

She says, "I was in bed."

"In bed this early, doing what?"

"Getting a second opinion!"

(YEP, HE HAD THAT ONE COMING, TOO!)

******************************************

Marriage (Part IV)

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife, "Mother of Six"
in spite of her objections.

One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of Six?'

His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouts right back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."

(RIGHT ON, LADY!)

**************************************

Marriage (Part V) The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 am for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 am" He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

**************************************

God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

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